Blog Decision 2012

Today we have some awesome news, and no, it's not another book release. We are officially turning A Beer for the Shower into a big, heartless corporation in the hopes of cutting corners, saving time, and above all, selling out.
But before we start looking for sweatshops and 7 year old Vietnamese children that have a mild proficiency in MSPaint, we need a president. See, there's two of us, and a corporation can't have 2 presidents. No, that's stupid. We've done no research whatsoever, but we're both pretty sure no company's ever done that before. So today we're starting our individual campaigns for President of the Blog, and we're letting YOU vote in November.
  Admittedly, it's made the friendship a little rocky, but we're both willing to do whatever it takes to become YOUR president.

An hour later...

So stay tuned for some more campaigning, and we'll see you come election time in November. No really, there will be a poll and everything. So vote wisely... but more importantly, just vote.

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Brandon and Bryan

Music: School of Seven Bells
Beer: Zywiec

The Idiot's Guide to Poker

I’m not good at a lot of things. I’m not good at waiting, I’m not good at swimming, and I’m not good at keeping my mouth shut, but one thing I’m especially not good at is poker. Betting, bluffing, holding, folding – it’s all Greek to me. I’ve had Brandon try and explain it to me before, but it just does no good.

So to celebrate our new novel about zombies taking over LasVegas, we flew out to Sin City to learn some high stakes poker. And we invited our good friend Youngman Brown to help us out. Between him and Brandon, I got some very helpful poker tips that have really turned my game around.

I also learned from Brandon that being good at poker has everything to do with skill and nothing to do with luck...

Another thing I learned is that your "poker face" is everything. That Lady Gaga chick was onto something.

The last lesson I learned was to always tip your dealer. Because, eventually, karma will poke you in the eye for being a cheap bastard.

So, how is that a lesson, you ask? Apparently, insulting a man's livelihood is frowned upon by the galactic powers that be, because once we all returned to our respective hotel rooms we found that our dealer had taken the liberty of having sexy call girls delivered to each of us. And by sexy call girls I mean big, hairy bikers dressed in women's lingerie. I never did find out why bikers would actually choose to wear lingerie. But I did find out that no matter how good your luck is or how much you win at a poker table in Las Vegas, when a three-hundred pound man in a corset shows up on your doorstep, everybody loses.

Cheers and stay classy, folks,

-Bryan (and Brandon)

Beer: Avalanche
Music: Two Door Cinema Club


Also, I wrote a very small short story that got posted over at The Indie Chicks. Check it out if you can. I don't like to brag, but it doesn't suck.

Short story awesomeness here

Oh, and if you haven't checked out Youngman Brown, seriously, do it now. He is one funny dude. And if you stop by, tell him Brandon and Bryan sent you. He offers a free 30 minute deep tissue massage to all first time visitors.*

*This is 100% not true

Dead and Moaning in Las Vegas

Today we're proud to announce the release of our second collaborative novel "Dead and Moaning in Las Vegas." It's a humor novel about the zombie invasion of Las Vegas and chronicles the adventures of a black Elvis impersonator, a drunken janitor, and a feminist stripper as they embark on an epic quest to not become zombie food. Check out the kick-ass cover...

(Painting courtesy of the talented Erin Yant)

Excellent, right? We can promise you two things. The first is absolute zombie-smashing hilarity. And the second? Well, we can guarantee that is the first time you'll ever see the deployment of the most ultimate zombie defense tactic in the history of zombie defense tactics: brazen drunkenness. See, when you're drunk, your eyes are half closed, you stumble around, you moan incoherently, and you trip all over things... just like a zombie. So they just think you're one of them.

Yes, we know, George Romero must be kicking himself in the ass right now for not thinking that one up first. But we're not kidding. That really is in the book. It's heartwarming. And nauseating. But it's very effective. And damn funny.

So, now you're asking yourself, "Where can I get my hands on this grey-matter-crusted gem of literary genius?" Well, the answer is simple, my literate friend. Like all of our previous story releases, this novel is being released as an Amazon exclusive e-Book, available here, for less than the cost of a Big Mac (And with at least half the risk of terminal heart disease!). Just follow the link, click a couple magic buttons, and presto, our new e-Book will be delivered to you immediately via Amazon. For those without Kindles, fret not, because you can still read this book on your computer. On the right hand side of the page we linked above, click the link that says 'Available on your PC,' right below where you Buy.

From here, you'll be directed to a page where you can download the Kindle program for your computer. Just download, install, and register (it's free), and from there, if you buy our book, Amazon will send it to your computer, rather than to a Kindle.

Book Link! ------->Dead and Moaning in Las Vegas

We really hope you enjoy the book. It's had a rough history, having been accepted and then bipolarly rejected from the biggest publishing house in the world. It's had so many false starts and unpredictable disasters with agents and editors that it even makes herpes seem reliable in comparison. And if you do like it (the novel, not VD) please do leave a rating on Amazon's website for us. You wouldn't believe how much this helps us sell books by climbing their bestselling algorithm ranks.

A big thank you to all of you who helped to fund this project via Kickstarter. We couldn't have done it without you. And thanks in advance to everyone who buys the novel. You all fucking rock.

And in the spirit of zombie madness, be sure to swing by our friend Zombies Everywhere's page too. He's a classy fella, and knows a thing or two about the undead. If you go to his page today, you can see an exclusive comic we created for his page this week in honor of our new book release. Also, sorry for the late mention, but thank you to Andrew Leon over at Strangepegs for his in-depth review of Brandon's new short story collection.

Cheers and stay classy, folks,

B&B

Beer: Fat Tire

Music: White Zombie