With that said... hi folks. Today, upon the past suggestion of multiple readers, we've decided to stage a taste test competition for that slur-inducing nectar of the gods: beer. The first contestant for this epic showdown will be that swilling champion and all-around smartass, Bryan.
The second drinker is One-Leg Craig, the hallway hobo. Not just because of his intimate familiarity with alcoholic beverages, but because, honestly, what else does he have to do? (Also, we don't have to pay him)
 |
| (It was actually Left Hand Milk Stout) |
 |
| (Our good friend Workingdan from Shameful Promotions.) |
Is there a moral to the story? Probably not. But if there's anything to be learned here it's that, yes, to some people taste and flavor are important components to the things they put into their mouth. But no matter how delicious the complexities of composition, after the third beer or so, the shit all basically tastes the same.
Cheers,
Brandon and Bryan
"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I shotgun the cheap piss to get drunk faster." That's what the "most interesting man" says, right? I'd actually love to see someone convert a hobo into a beer connoisseur.
ReplyDeleteStella Artois is dishwater. German white beer is where it's at, with Erdinger being the king of all beverages, alcoholic or not.
ReplyDeleteBwahahaha! Love it because it's true. In this recession of ours, I've taken the approach of starting off with a good beer (what are your thoughts on Boddingtons? I think I'm the only guy who likes it) and the moving onto whatever is cheap.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs guys.
I can't believe Bryan lost either. They say that if you go on long enough it all tastes the same, but I've never reached that point. I don't really like the taste of alcohol.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I've never tasted a beer that I actually liked. I'm just glad I can now order a Coke without embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteFunny post as usual.
Ice cold Modelo in a can, squirt some lime juice on the rim, sprinkle salt and chug. Well, that's how they drink it here in Mexico. Salud!
ReplyDeleteLol! Awesome ending to this - can't wait for Workingdan to come by and see this. He'll love it :) But I never thought that Bryan was going to lose... also, with alcohol not having an effect on him - how did he get muddled?
ReplyDeleteIt's true after #3 or 4 they all taste the same. That's why I usually start with Sam Adams.
ReplyDeleteBeer and Workingdan? TROUBLE!
ReplyDeleteI would have to agree, after about 3 beers they all start to taste the same. Unless of course you drink a Keystone light! That shit always tastes like piss...and I should know, I pissed it myself!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the guest appearance! Such a fitting role for Workingdan! Loved it!
that is a horrifically awesome "painting" in the background. eek.
ReplyDeleteThat's a pretty good drawing of workingdan
ReplyDeleteLOL yeah they all taste the same eventually anyway and if you need some extra cat piss, the cat will surely help out haha
ReplyDeleteOh my GOSH!!! The last pic was sooo freaking funny. The secret ingredient to Keystone revealed. Awesome ending to an already great post.
ReplyDeleteSo that's how Keystone light is made... lol.
ReplyDeleteOut here in redneckland, Budweiser is the king, thankfully we have an actual brewery with real beers!
ReplyDeleteAnd I believe Keystone light can only be made after urine is completely diluted by drinking too much water....
Hahahahah they all taste like the same shit from the start to me. I'd fail miserably. Wine testing? I'd still fail, but at least I'd enjoy myself.
ReplyDeleteHaha...I thought Bryan would have the hobo in the bag, then BAM! One-Leg Craig came out ahead. Better luck next time!!
ReplyDeleteI am not a fan of the beer, but I once attended a tasting of several home brewed and those weren't as terrible as I had imagined.
ReplyDeleteWhiskey, baby. Never lets me down.
I'm not a beer afficionardo(?). It all tastes like crap to me!
ReplyDeleteBeer tasting of an ah...more technical variety?
ReplyDeleteCraig has a lot to teach us. He's sort of like Yoda, if Yoda had subsisted solely on the swamp water of Dagobah.
ReplyDeleteYou had me at "a flexible schedule is one of the perks of self employment".
ReplyDeleteYou are right, it does all taste the same after a few too many, that's why I always end the night on cheap and nasty.
And I thought when you do tastings, you take a mouth full, but spit it out?
Who am I kidding? I'm not good enough at keeping a straight face
You guys are going to turn me into a beer drinker yet!
ReplyDeleteI love seeing Dan over here! You captured his "essence" in true form - especially in the last frame - the only thing missing was his deck LMAO
ReplyDelete=PPPP
I don't drink beer anymore, when I drink, I drink vodka!
I use to fire a few Imperials down my throat on break. I hated the taste, but it was the quickest way to get tipsy before going back to the kitchen. I think I nearly cut my finger off a few times being drunk in the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I've heard a lot of good things about Fat Tire. I've never seen it before, though.
Go Dan!!! I'm so glad you boys put him into your strip as he's done so many kind things for all of his fellow bloggers. Yes he's rude, he's crude, he's ill-mannered, but he does it with love and affection. And if people don't get it, well feck 'em!
ReplyDeleteheh heh
ReplyDeletewait... aren't taste and flavor the same thing? Mostly.
Beer is awesome and that's why I brew it. If you have a hopville profile you should hit me up. Current Beer on keg is Docksider pale ale.
ReplyDeletehttp://hopville.com/brewer/convictus
Kill'ya Irish Red, I think I've had something similar!
ReplyDeleteI hope I don't get blocked from your site for saying this, but...I hate beer!
ReplyDeleteBut, I do admit, you guys do have me wondering if it is just because I've only tried crap beer. Hmmm.
Bahahaha! I love it. A cameo by Workingdan? Perfect.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Avalanche=love
I'm just getting on the beer band wagon thanks to Tech Boy. He LOVES everything dark and IPA. I can't deal with that. I also won't touch the bullshit american piss water like PBR, Bud, Miller or anything like that. I like craft beers.
ReplyDeleteNever underestimate a one-legged hobo!
ReplyDeletePBR = Pabst Blue Ribbon?
It's good to know you BEER BOYS hain't fallin' for that new PBR trend that's supposed to make a man seem cool. It's garbage.
Then again, it ain't really any worse garbage than some of the stuffs I was swillin' when I was young and stupid: Carling Black Label Beer and Schaefer.
In fact, me and my boys drank so much Schaefer that we even referred to ourselves as 'The Schaefer Club'.
'Course there was also Azteca Mexican Restaurant that served .99 cent margaritas from 10 AM to Noon. We were there so often that we called that 'The Ninety-Nine Cent Club'.
I have so abused my ver. (There's not enough healthy tissue left to spell "liver" fully.)
Well, I'd comment further but I've got an Odell IPA in the fridge that's callin' my name. (Betcha think I'm joking, huh?)
~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'
What? A picture of Dan that doesn't show his ass? I feel cheated ;)
ReplyDeleteMan.. free booze. I'd like that again. It's been a while. Memories
ReplyDeleteI think that hobo was cheating. He was probably the one that filled up the glasses before the competition started! (Make of that what you will...)
ReplyDeleteI drank PBR the other night and thought of you guys. In my defense it was free and I was at a concert where beer was EXPENSIVE (and I'm broke). Then I did shots of Jack Daniels to hurry up and get buzzed so I couldn't taste the shitty PBR. I totally concur...after a bit it just doesn't matter. That being said I'm bitching out and LOVING Leinkugel Summer Wheat....tastes like a fucking blueberry muffin and I love it. I don't care if it's incredibly girlie.
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ReplyDeleteI like your fundraising idea! You guys should get into advertising.
Stella Artwat tastes nothing like PBR. Sure, I've never has PBR, but Artwat was my beer back before a doctor ruined my life by telling me I can't drink beer. Please, take it back. Tell me it's not true. I want my mommy.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is why I stick to wine or Tequila :)
ReplyDeleteI would be man #3...beer all tastes the same to me. lol Congrats to the winner ;) hahaha
ReplyDeleteIs it too early to have a beer at 1030 in the morning? That post made me thirsty.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I don't drink beer anymore, it taste like piss (or maybe it is)....cheers!
ReplyDeleteHa! Awesome post. I'm no beer lover or anything, I'd love to attend one of those beer fest though.
ReplyDeleteI can usually tell the difference between beers. That being said, I love them all!
ReplyDeleteWhenever I can't tell the difference between beer and piss, I take a leak in an empty cup and check it. Or so my latest YouTube appearance tells me.
ReplyDeleteI used to go put up with the snowbroders on Monday nights just to get some free Breck Vanilla Porter...mmm
ReplyDeleteY'know, I don't do alcohol...but I'm fairly certain I'd be a snob about 'em. Like microbrews and ales only or some shit. Imports and harder stuff when I'm goin' for poker or some such...
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand I have a friend who swears up and down I'd be the type to drink appletinis and cosmopolitans.
Said friend also loses to me a lot in heads-up poker.
Just sayin'...
Hmmm... Never drank enough beer to notice the difference yet.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post as always! And Dans appearence in it is very funny! Moral of the story? Hobos know best!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the kickstarter campaign! I hope you guys make your target! I'd help out but I'm saving all my money to make sure I don't end up like One-Leg Craig, the hallway hobo.
Dammit... if I'd known kickstarter uses Amazon to pay I wouldn't have gotten all excited. What kind of awesome futuristic funding site doesn't accept paypal?
ReplyDeleteI like having the freedom of a 17 year old and not having a credit card, thank you very much! :|
Last time I was in Denver, I toured three different breweries. My douche Ex (pretends he) has a great palate, and he gave every beer this long description. I was drunk halfway into the first brewery (cheap flights of good beer?? yes, please!). My "descriptions"? : "I like this one. It tastes good". It's funny: other than Blue Paddle (aka Swamp Water), I didn't find a beer I didn't like.
ReplyDelete