Thursday, July 19, 2012

Dignity For Sale. All Must Go?

Today we're skipping Slim Dyson (he'll be back next week, rest assured), so for this post, we wanted to remind you that we have a Kickstarter going, which'll help us get a kick-ass cover and help us market our forthcoming novel about zombies taking over Las Vegas, "The Dead Don't Play Slots." No, this isn't a begging and pleading post where we grovel for your money. This is a fun post, and we have some cool stuff that you can win right now for as little as $1.

Our Kickass Kickstarter

Every dollar helps. Truly. So as an added bonus, we're doing a blog-only special to help get people involved. See, at Kickstarter, you can donate as little as $1 if you want, you just don't get a prize... until now. Today we're changing that, by introducing 2 new blog-only prizes which we'll be running from today until the Kickstarter is through.


The $1 Tweet
Donate just $1 to our Kickstarter by simply clicking where it says Back This Project, $1 Minimum Please, send us an e-mail telling us that you did it (abeerfortheshower@gmail.com), and then we will tweet, from our Twitter account, ANYTHING you want (140 characters or less, of course). And we really do mean anything. We'll promote your blog, or your Twitter account, or your Facebook. We'll tweet things like "(Your name here) is a sex god" or "(Your name here) is the baddest bitch in town." Want to make fun of us? We'll even post things like "I made lemonade in my diapies" or "Magic Mike touched me in a place that usually my uncle only touches," seeming like it came from us.


True tweet. From a true dipshit. Hell, two hot nickels will get you better verbage than this idiot can produce.
So fire away, folks.You could sneeze your asscheeks into a dirty rag and come up with something wiser than Kanye. We know you can. So go right ahead. We. Will. Tweet. Anything. Let's have some fun with this one!



The $5 Drawing
Donate at least $5 to our Kickstarter, send us an e-mail telling us that you did it (abeerfortheshower@gmail.com), and I will draw you a 10-15 minute drawing in MSPaint of anything you want... within reason. None of this "Draw me the Sistine Chapel" bullshit. But, fortunately, 10-15 minutes can get you a lot. It usually takes me this much time to draw one of our typical comic panels.

You see, I kinda fancy myself as a bit of a caricature artist.









But really though, I'll draw just about anything within reason for $5. So you want a caricature of your face as an avatar? Done. You want a picture of Jesus riding a Labrador into outer space? Done. You want a picture of Miss Piggy in a g-string? Who the hell am I to judge? DONE.

Here are some notable examples of things I've drawn for the blog that have taken 10-15 minutes:

The sexually aggressive hawk that was in love with me.

The Snooki Monster... this was pre-pregnancy, I should mention.

Mark Zuckerberg, aka "The Zuck."

Japanese Ninja Cthulhu...

...as well as his unfortunate demise.

So what can I draw for you?

To all who pitch in, we appreciate your donations, and we can't stress enough that we want to make this fun for you, the reader. So reach out to us and let's have some fun with this. Also, to all of those who've already been so kind as to donate, we haven't forgotten about you. If you read this and you want a drawing or a tweet, give us a shout. We'll be happy to hook you up.

The Dead Don't Donate... But You Can

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Bryan & Brandon

Music: Dry the River
Beer: Modelo

34 comments:

  1. The sad thing is that you've already suggested several amazing tweets so now we'll have to think twice as hard. I was going to donate though, eventually, so I'll get back to you guys. But I think this is a good and fun idea :)

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  2. I'm with Mark -- your tweet ideas are genius and now I need to spend the morning coming up with awesome ideas.

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  3. $5 gets me a new cartoon? Certainly worth considering. And the exchange rate is pretty good too. Great idea guys. Should keep you busy and hopefully bring the cash in for you

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  4. This offer does it apply to souls who had already pledged? Cant deny that you guys have great pimping skills. Ever considered experimenting in the "risky business"?
    I would like to see you both your cartoons in the way I like , rather than mine. Bryan as a ho, Brandon as a pimp, Bryan in underwear, Brandon has skinny brat, guess what you had already done all that. ;-) Nothing demeaning I could think of.
    How about one cartoon of Bryan as Rock scorpion king.

    As your Octpus alien Samurai would say, "you bring shame to the family the imperial yellow flowers are crying blood and turning red for the country"

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  5. If I donate could I then say that I sold my soul to the devil for a dollar?

    I just might donate when I get home from work. That gives me a whole day to plot my 140 character tweet....and I'm going to use every last bit of it!

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  6. Brilliant idea. Also, dude, those only took 10-15 minutes!?! Incredible. With those kinds of skills, you could offer MSPaint lessons for an exorbitant amount.

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  7. Hahah those are great ideas! Can't wait to see what your tweets look like.

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  8. Your readers are as twisted as you guys, birds of a feather and all that, so these tweets are going to be awesome

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  9. By the way, Rusty, you are the man. Thank you.

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  10. Hmm sparked an idea in the cat, so you may soon hear from my mat.

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  11. Fun? Ok, I'm in. Getting some paypal moolah tomorrow, and I'll give you guys a cut of it.

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  12. I'm most certianly going to donate within the next week. But damn do I hate PayPal. Can I just enter a card number?

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  13. A dollar per tweet? Below are mine.

    1. "Me Bryan, was Mrs.Robinson's first bitch before Christian Grey, she loved me and not him"
    2. "Snooki's baby is mine" - too far, sorry I cant put through that, how about - "I love kids and love screaming kids"
    3. My life's ambition is too break Dr. Kirk Maxey - the sperm doctor's record.
    4. I support "Boycott American puppies" movement, because last night puppy barked at me.
    5. I want to sell edible book of Slim Dyson stories and would like to dare Americans to eat that book.

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  14. You know, I would donate, but I just put in an order of books and wiped out my writing account. If I manage to sell anything soon, though, I'll drop something in.

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  15. Hey guys, I just blew the wad for you over at Kickstarter. Oh dear, that doesn't sound right.

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  16. I could be wrong but it looks like you picked up close to 300 bucks in the last 24 hours. You two are amazing writers that are seriously the highlight of my Mondays and Thursdays. I'm happy to support you!

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  17. Ok I am doing this...I would have before but I'm pretty sure I suffer from ADD.

    Just a heads up: I want a picture of me as an Avatar (like in the movie) riding one of those bird things. I likes that.

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  18. I wonder if you can get duck itch from Twitter?

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  19. I'm in. Email is on it's way. I love you devilish bastards.

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  20. Sexually aggressive hawk should have it's own comic book. Sounds like a great new super hero ... Best of luck with the Kickstarter campaign.

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  21. Hell I pay $10 for crappy books all the time might as well do the same for you guys. Good luck, can't wait to read it.

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  22. Interesting idea here, no shame is too great huh...

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  23. I finally did my donation - a day later than I said I would - sorry about that. I'll be taking you up on that avatar drawing, I just have to think of something really, really good!!!

    Good luck guys!

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  24. So if I already donated, will you still tweet that I'm a sex goddess? ;) Or draw something for me?

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  25. I wish I could help out with money, but I can't, truly I can't. I just spent $200.00 on miniatures that I'm painting for my fellow bloggers and if I spend another penny on blogging related items, the Hubby will have my head.

    I wish you both the best of luck with this project and remember God will always give you what you need (yes I'm a mom, so get over it!)>

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  26. I'm about as busted as Slim right about now, but I can at least throw my favorite Beer Boys a dollar. (Wish it could be more!)

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  27. Hope all is well in your area after the movie theatre...thoughts headed your way for family and friends.

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  28. I was gonna go for the $10 and get the pre-release. I just need to deposit into the bank. It's this silly process that I dislike. Ah well.

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  29. The sexually confused hawk is still one of my favorite posts.

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  30. Ha! This is totally awesome and I'm ashamed to say I'd let magic mike touch me in places too.

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  31. I know I can come up with a bit of cash, I just know it. My nieces don't need their Lunchables. That's obesity in a box.

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  32. Kickstarter is one of my favorite sites, so I'll definitely check out your project.

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