Much like a stripper with daddy issues, the Audi is something best enjoyed from afar, and not something you want in your day to day life because it will make it miserable. Truly, I don't know why the Germans made a car this bad. Maybe the Audi is payback for World War 2.
See, most 4 cylinder cars have this kind of engine.
Annoying, I know. As a gearhead, I'm not a big fan of the hamster, unless he's a bit roided out like this...
He's got power, but he's also a noisy jerk. Now, my 4 cylinder car, turbo'd as it may be, has this kind of engine, which is the worst of them all. It's the destructive German engine.
Sure, that joke might be a little tasteless, but how can you stay mad at that cute little guy? I sure can't. Such is the relationship with my car.
Hamster Hitler's latest act of auto-related terrorism was the window regulator, a flimsy little device that lets the window raise and lower. Without it, my window was unable to roll up, leaving my car in a permanent state of "hey, please break into me."
Being a handy guy, I took apart the door and removed the broken part, something akin to performing open heart surgery except with plastic and metal instead of human tissue. For you see, you have to remove your entire door, piece by piece, just to get to it.
|Step #358: Remove the thingamabob from the whatsi-hoosit|
Now I needed a replacement part. First I asked the dealership, to see just how much they wanted to
rape me charge me for this particular part.
My thoughts on the matter: fuck that! So I went to the world wide Interwebz and found a reliable parts dealer that had the same cheap piece of plastic for $60. I bought it, and in 1 week I received a part that... well, wasn't really what I ordered.
They sent me the completely wrong part. I mean, it was so wrong I don't even know what it was for. So I returned that for a refund, and, figuring that company to be incompetent, I ordered the same part through ANOTHER company. One that has rave reviews online. And 1 week later, the part that I received... was even wronger.
They sent me something that looked like a bow and arrow, and since I'm not participating in the Hunger Games, it wasn't really going to help me fix my car.
It had now been 2 and a half weeks of my car being down and I had been sent the completely wrong part 2 times by 2 different companies. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed. So I called the second company to bitch them out, and got to listen to the nasally, labored wheezing of a man so fat you could actually HEAR his fatness over the phone. You know what I'm talking about. Well, unless I was somehow talking to Darth Vader instead.
Regardless, he was really helpful and I was finally sent the right part, and after a month of my car being down, I put in the new regulator and the Audi is back on the road. And I got to celebrate by taking my car for a drive and remembering why I like it so much in the first place.
...Damn you, Hamster Hitler.
Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Music: Canon Blue
Beer: Black Tire