Thursday, April 26, 2012

An Absence of Absinthe

We had an eventful weekend at the Pikes Peak Writers Conference, to say the least. We pitched stories to agents and editors, met some great new collaborators, and drank a myriad of alcoholic beverages to keep our spirits high. We even got to hang out and party with some drunk guy named Nar who was so wasted he thought he was Doctor Who. But, amid this awesome new friendship, something awful happened. And it all started at an absinthe party hosted by a vampiress.*

*True story, and we attended not one, but two








Sure enough, Brandon had disappeared. And both Nar and Bryan had been drinking too much to remember where they had last seen him.

They checked everywhere. They checked the bar, they checked Brandon's room, and they checked the lobby. They even checked the ice machine, because sadly, it wasn't all that improbable that Brandon got drunk and fell in.







But they couldn't find him anywhere. Worse yet, Nar wouldn't stop drinking that damned absinthe. It was starting to melt his brain, because his level of helpfulness quickly gravitated from 'supportive' to 'psychotic.'







Our legal team, and coincidentally, our first literary agent--when not living in his car
Since the hotel staff wouldn't aid them in their search because they "committed manslaughter," they went back to the vampire absinthe party to see if anyone had seen Brandon, and also to see if anyone had directions to the local Taco Star, because Nar was craving some really shitty Mexican food as prepared by an 8 year old Hispanic boy.*

*True fucking story




I guess we should have noticed the emaciated, fly-ridden corpse the first time around, but in all fairness, almost everyone at a vampire party is pale, scrawny, and dead behind the eyes.

Alright, so Brandon didn't die. But we did crash a vampire absinthe party (or two), which was a lot of fun, and the rest of the conference, well, that turned out great too. Not only did we find a very promising prospect for a new literary agent, but we're going to be launching our webcomic into two new media platforms: an NES-style video game and an animated cartoon series. We'll keep you updated on the launches and production processes of both.

Cheers and stay classy, folks,
B&B

Music: The Gaslight Anthem
Beer: Modelo (shotgunned in celebration, of course)


61 comments:

  1. Congratulations. When I saw twitter pic you shotgunning beer, I expected Brandon missing episode and an offer but video game and cartoon series? Bravo both of you.
    What about to the blue kid and frozen Brandon? Did you ask that glowing vampy boy to bring shirtless wolf boy to hug him to make them to feel warm?

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  2. Oh Sweet! That is awesome news guys

    The "hard work" is paying off ;)

    And by hard work, I mean having to put up with vampire dicks.

    Looking forward to the new development guys

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  3. Lol, I've been waiting for this one. I may or may not have been at that party... :) Ok, I was, but I didn't stay long enough to see Brandon bite it.

    It was great seeing you guys. Stay classy!

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  4. Emaciated Brandon may take the place of mentally retarded goat with an orthopedic shoe as my favorite ABftS character. A cartoon would be awesome, but an NES style video game!?! That's incredible. How do I lobby to be a villain (a pickleope is no more absurd than a King Koopa)?
    Absinthe is pretty great, though. All my best decisions I don't remember were all made drunk on Absinthe...which may still have been on fire whilst consuming it.

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  5. Most of this was way over my head - but I got the general gist of it - and did burst out laughing with the "are you my mommy?" quote... and I see that things went well and you had fun... so... hurrah!

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  6. Looks like fame is damn near boys and too much Absinthe is only bad with sugar cubes and laudanum and a match I believe?

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  7. I'll drink a glass of absinthe and wish you boys luck with your new endeavors.

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  8. Poor Brandon! Will his brain ever recover from the Absinthe? Will Bryan have to donate blood to revive his friend? Stay tuned for another episode of As the Beer Turns....

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  9. I think reading Twilight would have a worse effect than that guys. But it's awesome to hear that you're expanding into new territories and have found a good friend and a new agent. All in all it was freakin awesome for you guys. Except for the absinthe drinking "vampires".

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  10. Well Brandon might have been a Twi-Tard fan's snack but at least you found him and no one was hurt. Well, except for the maid. oh well.

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  11. Wow! A cartoon AND a video game! Now this I can't wait to see! Congrats on these new developments!

    The blood-drained and dead look is a good look for Brandon! lol Only problem is that it attracts too many flies...and smells bad!

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  12. Thats AWESOME guys! I hope to one day play said game...master it...then trade it in for a controller at gamestop. Very proud of you guys...like my opinion matters!

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  13. A vampire party... Is that a fact? I'm not planning on attending one between now and tomorrow, but I'm sure my catchy phrase ('Bite me!') would be considered, well, lame. I do know some people who are into vampires. I still don't get it, though. But to each his own, right?

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  14. They made him read "Twilight?" NOOOOOOOO!!! It's Beer Thirty! Get him to the nearest bar, stat!

    I've never had absinthe before. Did you have to trickle it over a sugar cube? I know that it used to be very potent over 100 years ago (to the point which heavy drinkers lost their minds). I once had a drink of its more common cousin, the Pastis; I didn't like it.

    And I can't to see and read about the developments! This is truly exciting news! :D Congratulations!

    -Barb the French Bean

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  15. So, that's what Twilight does to people... Interesting. ;)

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  16. Drained of all your blood or forced to read four novels where a stalker gets the girl? I'll take the blood. :)

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  17. Fuck me, another reason to be snarly that Jewels and I couldn't make it! One of my life's dreams is to walk into in "vampire" party and, "My name is Kat Van Helsing. And you are all going to die, you blood-sucking SCUM!" and then shoot them all with a super soaker filled with holy water. Or tap water.

    (They especially deserve to be terrorized because if the Absinthe tasted like radioactive waste then it wasn't prepared properly, and that's just fucking wrong.)

    Also? CONGRATULATIONS ON ALL OF THE BRILLIANT DEVELOPMENTS, GUYS!!!

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  18. Holy crap - you're going to be in a video game?!?! ;) That's so fricken cool - congrats you guys!! Can you say 'almost famous'?

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  19. Hhah this comic was great...I wonder what the Twi hards think about the bdsm twilight fanfiction (50 shades of gray)? Excited to hear about your new project!

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  20. Awesome, looking forward to the new platforms!

    Blue kid looked like the missing one in the news!okay, so that's cold...=P

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  21. Congratulations, guys! I can't wait to hear more about the awesome cool stuff you'll be putting out.

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  22. Sounds like a blast! Love the comic!

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  23. Congrats on the new prospects! I have yet to actually try absinthe. I want the real stuff though, not the US version.

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  24. Congratulations you two! I'm very happy for guys. I can't wait to see the game and series when they come out.

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  25. haha i take it you're influenced by hemmingway assume, due to the amount of drink u drink. also good ol gil! lol

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  26. Sounds like an interesting weekend and some great news. Good stuff guys

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  27. Sounds like you boys had a uneventful weekend. Glad Brandon is just fine and you finally found him. Best of luck on your future endeavors.

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  28. My condolences to Brandon for having to read Twilight. You have suffered a truly grevious loss of time and brain cells.

    Also, yay for new prospects!

    Aren't vampire parties great =) All the free biting.

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  29. I had a friend once who was Czech and I swear that guy was always within arms reach of absinthe and a spoon. He cooked it in the spoon and I always felt that was way too close to....whatever drugs people cook in spoons. Congratulations on your new successes!!! <----(that word doesn't look right to me)

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  30. Fucking vampire absinthe parties. They'll kill your friends every single time, especially if they force them to read Twilight. Poor Brandon.

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  31. Almost didn't notice the changing words on the shirts! The second shirt (with the tardis line) is my favourite shirt saying I've seen yet!

    Glad Brandons not dead! But if he did read the Twilight books I'm sure he wishes he was!

    Glad to see you guys going into different avenues with your work! Good luck! I'm rooting for you!

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  32. You guys are funny, but I'm sure you knew that already. The comics are cool, too. Good luck with your submissions and bringing Brandon back to life and all that.

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  33. lols... People still drink that stuff? I figure thats reserved for Trent Reznor or something.

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  34. "Your mom is my tardis"? Is it like, "when I'm inside her, I travel through space and time"?

    I hope Brandon recovers from being a zombie soon. Reading Twilight is truly an awful fate.

    And congrats on getting wider audience for your work, excited for the animated series =D

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  35. I've still never tried Absinthe. I think that diminishes my reputation as a lush. Why is all the really, notably powerful pooze annis-flavored?

    ...not that I mind, but seriously, some variety, distilleries!

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  36. Woahwoahwoah! I went from smiling to HOLY ESS they're gonna up their game?! I look forward to all this. Also, I want to go to a vampire absinthe party. I'm jealous.

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  37. Absinthe and a guy named Nar and and a Vampire Party? What were you thinking? Congrats on the awesome news. 'And who the hell gave you a sledge hammer?' ROTFLMAO!

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  38. A nes type game and show that sounds like a cool idea. A vampire absinthe party though I will skip, I say bite me too much and they make take it too literally..haha

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  39. Twilight would kill you, on the inside at least

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  40. You guys are too funny! love the artwork!

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  41. I'm just as pissed as my dear Kat except I've always wanted to walk into one of those places with a loaded cross bow. She was pretty tame with the super soaker. Just saying. Also...I've always kinda wanted to rock that corset she's been promising to help me buy, some kick ass pants, heals and a leather jacket with said cross bow and take those vamps down! Now my imagination is just running away with me. I draw the line at Everclear...you are rockstars for trying the absinthe!

    CONGRATS on the great developments!! :) Can't wait for the updates!

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  42. You have to love a drink that's complicated AND tastes bad.

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  43. Good cautionary tale. I will avoid vampire/absinthe parties from this point forward. ;)

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  44. Aw, poor que.

    And an NES-style video game combined with the genius minds of A Beer for the Shower... have you guys been reading my diary??

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  45. Twilight will cause a new wave of super zombies

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  46. Man, I don't even want to think about that TARDIS comment.
    And I'm full of all kinds of envy.

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  47. Holy wow, congratulations and good luck, especially with twilight!

    Your posts never ever fail to entertain me, i'll say it again. Cause its just so damn true!

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  48. Oh god. I'd go into that limbo too if I had to read Twilight.

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  49. I still think the word absinthe was made up by a guy with a lisp who didn't make his meeting because he was drunk. Just saying!

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  50. It's hard to say what my favorite part of your posts might be because I love every word...but I'm leaning toward the hidden messages on your t-shirts.lol

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  51. I drank absinthe once and that was enough for me. I don't understand why anyone would keep drinking it by choice. Although, I would love to say I went to a vampire absinthe party.

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  52. I would probably skip that conference. But I totally need that vampire, suck this t-shirt!

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  53. I missed your first literary agent. It seems the Homosexual Deprogramming Ministry got a hold of him. I suppose if the dude from Twilight (still don't know his name or his character's name) is near, even in poster form, everyone looks a little less gay. Except me, of course.

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  54. Never got the deal with absynthe - always seems to sober me up, wtf! I LOVE the Tardis teeshirt, and great post as always.

    Am I the only one to notice the manlove between the two of you - you guys are so pretty with your looking out for each other even at a party!

    Congratulations on the gigs guys, and hope the new agent brings you more good news.

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  55. A major step forward, and all you really had to do was read Twilight! A fair trade, since Brandon should *eventually* recover his sanity, eh?

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  56. Hahaha! It looks like Nar Williams' lawyer is Gill from The Simpsons!

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  57. Ah, I looked like that after I read Twilight, too. Congrats on possibly finding a new literary agent!

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  58. I've actually always wanted to try absinthe. There's a lot of stories and urban legends surrounding it.

    Also, I'm going to assume the two red dots on his neck are from him trying to bite his own head off.

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  59. You change your shirt very often, but I love my other tardis is your mom!
    Congrats on the new things ahead!

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  60. hehe, these are just great cartoons.

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