It's no secret that lately I've been sleeping about as well as a rabid chihuahua on speed. So, instead of wasting my nights staring at the ceiling for eight hours straight and barking at the neighbors, I decided to get a second job. And you wouldn't believe all the cool employment opportunities out there for the nocturnally inclined. First, I landed a gig as a late-night host on the Home Shopping Network.
But since I couldn't understand half the innuendo slang you limeys were using, I evacuated prematurely. And that was it. I gave up my search. Apparently, the working world of the weird is one that I'm clearly unfit for. So I went to the bar and honed the only skill I can practice at all hours of the day: Being a professional wino.
Beer: Fat Tire
Music: Dire Straits