Thursday, March 22, 2012

Miscellany and the March Onward


So, today’s post is going to be a bit of a deviation from the norm. Not in the “I’m going to pull down my pants and play with myself in public” sense, but in the “Sweet Christ, it’s nearing 11P.M., I’ve fucked off all week and Bryan is going to stab me in the liver if I don’t put together some sort of blog post for the morning” kind of way. Not that I’ve really been fucking off. It’s been a painfully busy fortnight. 
But I’d like to rewind the tape a bit and mention a success we neglected to tell you all about: Bryan and I finished our newest novel manuscript last week. We’re pretty stoked about that. It’s a tale of tragedy, triumph, and the art of devouring brains. No, it's not the heartwarming story of little Jeffie Dahmer's daycare days. It's about zombies taking over the city of Las Vegas. And it follows the struggles of such richly drawn and philosophically poignant characters as a black Elvis impersonator, a booze-addled janitor, and a feminist stripper while they navigate their way through the undead apocalypse of Sin City. I know, I know, but let me assure you...it's far less classy than it sounds. We had a blast writing it and we’re looking forward to finding a new agent and/or publishing editor for the project at the writing conference we’ll be attending next month.
In other news, we the drunken duo have already charged headlong into our next collaborative project. And this one is going to be a bigger hit than polyester during the deadly days of disco. Except without all the latter-day fashion shame and regret.
I can’t reveal too much about the project, but I can confidently say that if Bryan or I have ever been even remotely close to having an original idea, this is it. And by "original," I mean something that will hopefully someday soon be turned into a bastardized Hollywood film adaptation and garner us sweet sweet royalty checks for years to come. But, we'll keep you posted on that. For now, I'll just have to content myself with those un-cashable promotional checks that the goddamn bank likes to taunt me with in the mail. 
On that note, I'm all out of coffee and am about to go pass out. I hope this post doesn't leave you feeling unfulfilled. But if it does, here's a link to one of my favorite old posts of ours that sadly didn't get much attention because it was written before we had many readers. And it's far better than this one. Go check it out. The Beartender and the Fake Grass.

Cheers,
Brandon





 Beer: Avalanche
Music: Chopin's Nocturnes

65 comments:

  1. Ha! Where's the tub of ice for you? Congrats on getting another book done/your new idea. Don't feel bad about it not being a normal post...did you seee what I did today? Yeah. That's a post to be ashamed of.

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  2. Just on my second cup of coffee reading this. I am delighted to hear about the book can't wait to get my coffee stained fingers on it!!!

    Also if you haven't gotten a buyer for the colon I am your woman!!!

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  3. You already finished another manuscript!?! Damn. You two are prolific, like Stephen King but hopefully without the meandering plots and head scratching haphazard endings. The good kind of Stephen King, the Shawshank version. Yeah, let's go with that. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, if I buy the liver, can I get drunk off the contents?

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  4. Wow, you guys are full of ideas! And as long as you're harvesting livers, don't forget kidneys, heart, lungs, bone marrow, corneas, and some very thin layers of skin....you'll need those for making a decoy for when your rich and famous. Or, you could just donate....whatever.

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  5. A feminist stripper, eh? That must have been an interesting character to write!

    -Barb the French Bean

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  6. LOL sounds like such a classy book, should really appeal to those millionaire types..haha...sounds like quite a bit fun for real though, hope you have luck at the conference. Watch your liver or other parts from getting stabbed.

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  7. Good work on the new project guys

    Looking forward to reading that one to ;)

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  8. Congrats on the finished manuscript! Can't wait to read it. It's true, the black market is fickle. When I was younger I wanted to look into ways to sell a kidney for an extra liver. You know, insurance should I destroy my own.

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  9. Well at least your liver wont go to waste. lol.

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  10. Congrats! Zombies in Las Vegas? Zombies taking over slots and casinos and vodka oozing out of all holes in body, sign me up..

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  11. Congrats on the book! I look forward to reading it!

    Watch your back and protect that liver!

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  12. I hope your liver enjoys its new home.

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  13. I really enjoyed your first book! Will definitely buy and read this one. Plus I love zombies :)

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  14. Good job on finishing another book. And here I have a hard time posting twice a week! :P

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  15. You guys are on a roll, keep it going! Good luck with all your writing projects. Can't wait to read more of your stuff!

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  16. The stabbing was a great touch lol... congrats on making your way through a new manuscript and thanks for the link! It was a fun read.

    I'm wondering how you guys met up? How long have you known each other? Thanks!

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  17. This is a bit sad and mushy but good luck and hopefully a lot of success and don't forget the little people when you're lighting your cigars with $50's.......

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  18. You've left me feeling hollow, sad and unfulfilled today guys. I'm on my way to find my dealer and try to score an 8 ball to make myself feel better. Seriously, the book sounds great and wishing you success.

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  19. Seriously livers on the black market are a commodity =) I look forward to your next collaboration.

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  20. Zombies in Vegas, awesome. Hey wait a minute, the last time I was there about 4 years now, it kinda looked that had already been done.

    Sorry about the liver. You need better friends, man.

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  21. I cannot wait to read your tale of the living dead in Vegas! That sounds like pure joy soaked in a tub of kittens.

    I figure normal/regular are overrated anyways- no worries for deviating from the usual!

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  22. The world honestly needs more feminist strippers.

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  23. How convenient, I'm looking for a black market liver. Congrats on finishing another manuscript. You guys are machines.

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  24. I would stab you because I like blood. It's looks like my red lipstick after I have left it out in the sun. I would get away with it, too.

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  25. Congrats guys! I'll definately grab the book. I still need to check out The Missing Link as well(once I grab a Kindle). Anyway, good luck in your search for a publisher.

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  26. I kinda see Bryan as more of the slow death by secret poisoning type.

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  27. Congrats on the new book. I like the idea of zombies in Las Vegas. I think there are many of them there now.

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  28. I thought he was going to say that he wanted your liver himself. But I don't think the black market wants a liver as booze filled as your guys. Congrats on getting the manuscript done and good luck finding a real agent or publisher and that you don't get screwed over this time.

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  29. Congratulations you two! I love a good zombie book.

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  30. Congrats on finishing up another novel. Most awesome.

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  31. congrats on the new book boys. If it's anything like the Missing Link I'll be running to the shops to get it.... or to amazon.... maybe I'll just slowly trundle there..... If I send you guys a cheque will you do it for me?

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  32. Congratulations!

    I think this post should stave off any harsh attacks of "You don't hold up your end of the blog marriage"

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  33. zombies and strippers? I think I saw that movie.

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  34. Hah! It sounds awesome. And if you guys keep up the amazing original work, some day soon you'll have a big Hollywood success. And then you can invite all your bloggers to your new mansion and serve us of the finest beers. I'm now officially counting on you!

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  35. feminist strippers are okay. it's the misogynist strippers that really chap my hide.

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  36. Looking forward to reading everything you guys put forth.

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  37. You guys are supremely talented. Good luck with the next project!

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  38. Look forward to the zombie book.

    Missing Link is on my reading list. Promise will get to it very soon!

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  39. Hey, congrats on your latest project! That's very cool. And I can't wait until you make it big. Seriously, you will.

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  40. Awesome congrats! Sounds really cool. There's this programme in the UK called Misfits (on E4), and they had a zombie cat and zombie cheerleaders.

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  41. Yay!
    Congrats on finishing your manuscript guys!!

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  42. Congratulations on finishing your project! Hope it becomes a best seller and a hit movie so I can brag, "I knew him way back when!"

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  43. HAHA. 'you're a gentleman and a scholar', i love that line, my brother says it a lot. Good work on your new novel! I feel like I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to find out what this top secret new project is :P

    Ciao

    - Juliet x

    ps. Just noticed you guys have 1466 members...holy cow! That's awesome!!

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  44. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahaha

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  45. Yo Pimps, I just gave you a Versatile Blogger award if you want to check it out go to my site www.pullmyfunnybone.com If you ain't into that shit, that's coolio in the hoolio!

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  46. Everybody knows that icicles are *much* better murder weapons.

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  47. A bigger hit than polyester.... mighty strong words, fellas, but I'm sure you'll pull it off.

    A tale of tragedy, triumph, and the art of devouring brains... is the story of my life as a blue teacher. :)

    Have a nice weekend!

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  48. Congratulations to you both on finishing the new manuscript!

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  49. congratulations on the success! you two deserve it and quite frankly, everything about Viva Las Zombies sounds pretty baaaaahhhhlin!

    Oh, can you seperately write me a book about Jeffrey Dahmer's daycare days. That struck a chord within my heart somewhere. Maybe next to the tar and blod clots.

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  50. im back, 2days not reading on your blog post, coz i'm busy

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  51. So, you guys, me, we should have a drink at this writer's conference thing next month. Ok? And, congrats on finishing that zombie book. ;)

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  52. Congrats on finishing the book! You two are awesome. Ya'll make me feel like a turtle. I've been playing with the same chapter for 3 months...

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  53. Congratulations on the book! I wish you the best in finding that agent or editor.

    And I'm looking forward to seeing your names in the credits when I watch a big time Hollywood movie. I'll tell everyone, "I so know them. They keep asking me to come hang with them in Colorado." :D

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  54. So... I'm wondering. Have you guys ever posted something about your childhood? Seems like a comic strip of you two as little guys would be hilarious. Just a thought.

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  55. Cool a new book to look forward to...no one would want my liver it's already full of holes lol

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  56. Congrats to both of you!! Here's to the sweet jingle of future change in your pocket!!

    And the older post was incredible.

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  57. Whoa I thought you guys were unpublished. Have you had a book out? Where can I find it?

    That's an awesome clock in the comic strip by the way. Good luck with the new manuscript.

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  58. Huh, Blogspot ate my response...

    "Gonna sacrifice an alpaca in your names! FOR GREAT SUCCESS!" was the gist...

    In all honesty, here's to the manuscript doing well! Get yer names out there, burn your legacy into the pages of history!

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  59. Congrats on finishing the manuscript!!!! And no, you cannot sell a stabbed liver. What a wasteful thought...

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  60. An original idea for Hollywood!!! These days that is which old sitcom to make a movie out of. well... as long as you aren't planning a big budget Alf movie were cool.... cause that's my idea! So back off!!

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  61. Congratulations on the finished manuscript!

    Not that this post wasn't fulfilling since I'm jacked that you guys finished the book, but I went back and read the 'Beartender' and it was pretty fucking incredible.

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