It all started ages ago, back in the year of our Lord 2010, in a time of dating that wasn't nearly the same as it is now. We didn't have "meeting at bars" and "blind dates through friends" like you kids have now. No, we had a little thing called the "Internet," and it helped lonely people meet each other.
So... I tried something a little different, and I signed up for a free dating site.
Unfortunately, right off the bat, the prospective candidates were not looking good.
Sadly, from there it didn't get much better...
|Yeah, I know, I know, she probably has a "great personality." Too bad she ate that too.|
|Didn't see that one coming, did you?|
Yep, I guess we were both a little shallow, because my profile didn't say a whole lot, and her profile literally only said "I have chinky eyes."
BUT, in my justification, that made me laugh, which told me she had a sense of humor. Plus, all the other girls just said things like "OMG I love Twilight I want a guy like Edward" which is grounds for murder in some states.
We e-mailed each other and hit it off well, so we met. For our first date, we went to all-you-can-eat sushi, which is a great first impression when you're double fisting greasy sushi rolls and popping buttons on your pants trying to out-eat the other person. At this point the courting process began. The verbal dance of seduction, if you will.
WINNER! How can anyone top that? (We said none of those things, but that was a lot more interesting than idle dinner conversation)
But as the night wore on, things seemed a little too good to be true. What was wrong with this girl? Well, suddenly, she told me; she had a dirty little secret.
Yes, that's right, that was her big secret. And trust me, I was sorely disappointed... because I was really hoping she was a badass cyborg with a gun for an arm and high powered laser boobies. But I guess a gamer for a girlfriend wasn't bad either.
The rest is history, and here we are, on the brink of our first wedding anniversary, with many more adventures to come. They say no one is perfect, and that is certainly true of both of us, but for a woman she's as close to perfect as I'm going to get... until technology allows me to turn her into a cyborg with rapid fire laser boobies, that is.
Stay classy, friends,
Music: City and Colour