Thursday, November 10, 2011

What Am I?

        As I sit here typing away on my 28th birthday, I'm finding myself asking an important question: what am I? No, that's not a typo. After spending almost 3 decades on this planet, I'm pretty confident in who I am. I just can't figure out what I am.
        What I mean are those stereotypes that people placed on each other, particularly in high school, but which usually carried over into 'real life' anyway. Nerd. Jock. Cool kid. Rich kid. Etc. I am none of those. So what the hell am I?
        For example, let's start with the nerds.

I was probably destined to be a nerd from the get-go. I'm a writer, I like video games, and I went to college for a degree in IT because I'm great with diagnosing computer problems. Right now I should be this guy:

Except, for as good as I am with computers, I really don't give a shit about them. When I was working, my IT-related coworkers and I would always get into conversations like this...

Since I'd rather build up an old car than a new computer, it's clear I was never destined to be a nerd. Or a white collar worker, for that matter. Something about becoming this guy has just always made me want to kill myself.

So, since I love muscle cars, I work out a lot, I'm active/competitive in sports, and I really don't give a shit about computers, I must be a jock... right?


Yeah, that's right, I own a Zune, not an iPod like the rest of the world. I told you I don't fit in!

*Sorry Sondre
*I'm not sorry, Katy Perry, you talentless twat

So I'm not built like He-man, I love to read, and I listen to a lot of indie bands that most people have never heard of.

Oh God, I'm not a hipster, am I?

I am definitely not. In fact, when it comes to indie music, I've never understood this particular mentality in the hipster culture...

So what does that leave? Cool kid? Rich kid? Emo? Goth? I'm certainly not any of those. Which means, frankly, I don't know what the hell I am. But the more I think about it, the more I realize I like it that way. Fuck being normal, and fuck being cast into a stereotype.

So what about you guys? Would you consider yourself lumped into any particular group or stereotype?

Stay classy, friends,

Mood: Gray like a cloudy day
Music: *sigh* A band you CLEARLY would not have heard of. If I told you, they'd become mainstream.
Beer: PBR


  1. Wait.... if this post was cooler before it got posts, does that mean I'm to blame for it's dwindling coolness?

    ...... I can live with that.

    And these days I don't think the who Stereotype thing really works like it did in High School. I think people more fall into what jobs they have or what not.....

  2. A very HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, my fellow Scorpio. Mine's Sunday. Except I'm old enough to be your mother! This was a great post. I never fell into any 'type'. Always beat to my own drum and liked what I liked, not what everybody else was liking. Be proud of that. I sure as hell am. And muscle cars rock. Enjoy your day and sending you a big birthday hug (((hug))).

  3. How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    *sigh* it's a really obscure number you've probably never heard of it.

    Happy 28th year Bee-ry! Also, the fact that I was the first to comment on this post means that I liked it before it got mainstream. REMEMBER THAT


  4. Happy birthday!

    I have hung out with every stereotype group I thought I was goths, emos, nerds, hipsters (both music and art specific hipsters, how did I survive?) and hated them all. So now I'm just me and I hang out with people I like or don't want want to punch too much. Seems to be working fine.

    Fuck being normal indeed.

  5. Happy birthday indeed!

    Not fitting any stereotype is brilliant!
    Being quirky, original and a little off the wall is what people clearly like about you and your writing, so why bother questionning it or changing it!

    Plus, if you are considered 'quirky', you can do a lot of weird shit, without people even blinking!

  6. Happy birthday you f$%#king hipster. Hipsters don't think they're hipsters. But the evidence is clear: online cartoonist, writer, Zune user (which is kind of like having a Sega Saturn...time to let it go), identifies as a misunderstood outsider.
    No! I'm joking, sorry. Anyone who does fall into predetermined stereotypes is generally a boring or terrible person and difficult to hang out with (e.g. Jersey Shore, guys with giant ear-lobe stretching earrings, etc.) as you explore here.

  7. Happy Birthday you youngun! Relax...I'm 20 years older and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Get this - my undergraduate degree was in Computer science back in the days when we learned to program on paper cards. As soon as I graduated I knew that I couldn't have that as a job - not my style. My whole family is a brood of quirky people and my kids are proud of their differences! normal = BORING!!

  8. Truthfully, just think how boring life would be if we all did fit into stereotypes. I hope I have never been a stereotypical anything. Individuality is what makes this world so beautiful.
    BTW I love your workout shirt :)

  9. I'm with the angry assassins/serial killer group.....there's still time I suppose?

  10. Oh man, I can totally relate to this! Let's see... I love to write, but I lack the experience and education to make any money with it. I know everything there is to know about sports... except how to play them. And I've avoided the gym my entire life because those neckless roid-heads scare the piss out of me.

    If there's one stereotype I identify with, I'd say I'm closest to being Emo... but on a list of Things That Emo Kids Get Depressed About, I doubt you'll find "Red Sox Miss Playoffs After Epic Collapse"...then again, how many Red Sox fans listen to Paramore, Fall Out Boy, and My Chemical Romance? Idk... maybe some do. Those are three very well-known bands. Which disqualifies me from being a hipster. Damn.

    Anyway... keep being you...whoever you are. Have a happy 28th!

    p.s. Katy Perry SUCKS! Someone *should* whack that bitch with a phone book. Unfortunately (thanks to the internet) they're much lighter now. Computer monitor, maybe?

  11. Clearly, I am the sexy bimbo type.

    C'mon. Be honest. You noticed.

    (Happy birthday!)

  12. Speaking of hipsters, I saw the most hipster thing at the mall the other day.
    It was a freakin long board with Pabst Blue Ribbon logos all over it. I'm sure as soon as the hipsters saw that, they creamed their non-brand pants.

  13. I think I fall into the blue collar working type. I'm not a nerd or a hipster. I'm not a cool rich kid, but I tend to think I'm cool.

    I just enjoy being an individual....who works his ass off for shit pay! That part I don't enjoy.

    Happy birthday!

  14. Actually, Dallas Green was so much better when he was the general manager of the Cubs.

  15. Happy birthday, whatever you are. And really, as long as you know WHO you are, the what shouldn't matter that much. No need to try to fit yourself in a box when clearly there's more to you than fits inside of one. Cheers!

  16. Happy Happy Birthday!!! Who wants to be lumped in with a group?! If you gotta pick one you should be a redneck. I'll show you how it's done. Let's see... you've got the beer. Oh - and the muscle car! Uhmmm... you need a few cinder blocks now (not the ones under your car - extras). Oh - and some tires (just pull 'em off your house). You should ask for a bug zapper as a birthday present.

    I like who you are.
    Now - go forth and beat some people upside the head with a phone book. Then tell 'em it's your birthday and whack 'em again.


  17. Happy birthday you weightlifting, muscle car driving, IT hipster.

  18. Happy Birthday!

    Me, sort-of nerd except, like you, I like computers well enough, am good with them but really don't actually care about them.

    I like writing, both music and words, and I like annoying the internet with my crappy cartoons.

    I think being a hipster was so much cooler when they weren't wandering around saying how cool stuff was before....

  19. Happy Bday Bryan! I would say that the stereotype you are in now is way cooler than anything you would have plannned for. And your blog is more interesting with so many comments. I love reading comments more than the post - honestly.
    And to answer your question, identity crisis or stereotype, for people like me who grow up in a different country and continue their adult life with kids and stuff in different country - sometimes makes us pull our hairoff.
    I was more like Jack of all trade and I was labelled "creative" and "imaginative" everywhere and my choices were fluctuating more like a ac curve. Writer, Psychologist, and engineer was least of them. Now I dont think I can ever become a writer or a shrink and take so much crap from all patients. And I realize that I am not that creative or imaginative I thought I was.
    During start of my IT career I was so much interested in learning every single version of Microsoft and Java and later I moved to mainframe and now I am a dinosaur. I dont understand most of the jargons used in IT.
    I have no regrets with the choices I made anyway.
    And I am quite happy with my mom stereotype more than a programmer label and I would like to excel in that.

  20. This is so freaking hilarious :D Loved it!

  21. "I like jokes!" A Simpsons reference??

    I've never given this much thought outside of highschool. In highschool, I was a band geek and a science nerd.

    Now, I play guitar and work in a lab. Maybe not much has changed.... oh, but I blog now!!!

  22. Is it bad that I knew exactly what you were talking about to the IT guy? Loved the t-shirts.

    I despise the word normal. What the hell is "normal" anyway? I wouldn't classify myself either. Honestly, how can you? People have so many different or even conflicting interests.

  23. Love it!
    How I see you via the blog-o-sphere world....

    You're a well rounded normal guy with a brain! Obtaining goals, and dreams.
    You're not sooo into ONE thing that that's all you are. You're so much more than all those sterotypes put together.

    You're you, and you're .....normal. With friends, and a life. Who would want to only be one type of person.... boring.

    Love this post.

    Btw, Happy Birhtday.
    Hope it's full of ridiculous silliness and hilarous memories.

  24. It guy with a science and manufacturing fetish. Also a tiny bit of hippy and back to the earth made by hand wonk.

  25. Happy birthday :)

    I was nodding in agreement the entire time I read this. Regardless of whether they have a name for us or not, YOU'RE NOT ALONE!


  26. I'm very much like you, in that I'm not very much like any stereotype. I'm more of a geek than anything, I work in the software industry, though I can't write code. My hobbies are cooking and miniature games. I was an athlete through high school and college and still keep a hand in athletics even if it's just watching. I also drink too much and many days stay sober only because drinking and tending to my kids never works out well. Sounds like you are mixed up mutt of a human being

  27. Happy birthday, you hipster douche!

    Labeling people is for assholes, by the way. I make an effort not to do that. God knows what the bloody hell my label would be if I asked someone to do it.

    Just be you, dude. That's good enough for all of us. :-)

  28. Happy 28th! Celebrate it like its your 18th, which I plan to do when it hits in a few months here.
    I am with you, I think our age group missed out on really having a 'popular' identity. We kind wrote emails in high school, thank goodness didn't have facebook until college and are too old for the hipsters, again thank goodness, go take a shower, and too young to be in any part of gen x. I am happy with who I am, and glad you are too...whoever that is :)
    And the IT guy there should throw out a few "Moooove"s Jimmy Fallon style.

  29. Happy Birthday!

    I was always outcast in high school for being a goth in a preppy part of town.

    Now I am a housewife with many homemaking skills and a gothic alter ego.

    The stereotyping has blurred since I was in high school last, so I am at a loss now.

    I would like to have one question answered! Those Emo guys with the girl skinny jeans on, Where the fuck is your dick go?

  30. Happy birthday/identity crisis.

    Just be glad you're not a tortoise. They have over 100 years to worry about what they are...nightmare.

    I won't know what I am until the lab gets back to me with the results.

  31. haha damn, u just reminded me im turning 25 2 to soon, that means 27... but hey atlesat i mite be able to join that awesome dead at 27 club, you clearly beat that club, happy bday old man

  32. I actually often ask myself this same questions. All my peers feel sorry for me because I live in my house with my two cats without a husband and children and blah, blah, blah. I have an ancient mp3 player that doesn't even have a screen. And what the hell is a smart phone? I like being me... whatever I am. :) Great post!

  33. I know what you mean. People think that just because I like to drink all day, every day, that I must be an alcoholic.

  34. Happy Birthday!

    I love this post. I'm not a nerd, or a jock, or a hipster, either. I kinda like it that way, it keeps people guessing.

    But I have to say, this post was way better before it got comments :P

  35. Happy birthday! I like contributing to the anti-cool of your blog. BWA HA HA!

  36. Haha, this post was one of the best ones, meat heads, nerds and hipsters... the blog post trifecta. All you needed was a little war gaming. Happy birthday!

  37. And I thought I was alone. I too am a damn good IT guy that effing hates computers. Happy birthday and it really sounds like you're shooting for the socratic stereotyoe; you know, strong mind in a strong body---a new man for a new age.

  38. Happy Birthday Fellow Scorpio!

    I want one of those tee shirts that keeps changing sentiments.

  39. I was the kid in high school that the under classmen thought was a teacher. No lie.

    And I grew up with a Beta instead of a regular VHS machine. Talk about warped and not fitting in.

  40. Happy birthday, nerdy, cool, funny, beer-lovin' guy!
    (I may as well just round it out... no use picking just one, in my opinion.) :D

  41. 28 huh. Well, I would say happy birthday, but, that would be conforming too what everyone else's comments say. And on principle I cannot do that.

  42. Happy 28! I hope I'm not to be so easily classified. I really liked the IT guy T-shirt.

  43. I never really cared. I occasionally call myself a hipster, mainly so people can expect that I won't be into Drake or whatever's new on radio stations. Oh, and because I usually dislike newer music from artists, but I blame that on producers, not -- kay I guess I'm kinda hipster-y.

    I liked it better being a 'thing'.

  44. Happy Birthday Bryan. You may be a gearhead or a petrolhead depending on where your from. Now I mean that as a compliment because I was a gearhead before all the computer shite got put into cars. I'm really a stealth ninja. Christ, I can have the head off a zombie in 0.2 seconds and that's when I'm drunk. Sober, I can wipe out a whole platoon in that time.

  45. "crazy" a group/stereotype?

    Also, I briefly owned a Zen, the Zune's ugly sister.

  46. Happy Birthday. I am pretty sure all the coolest people defy titles...I know I do and I'm pretty kick ass. SO glad you aren't a hipster...I'd have to run screaming from your blog.

  47. I couldn't help but notice that in the drawings of yourself you have your hair parted on the right. Historically, men who part their hair on the right instead of the left are "different" (myself included) and are more in touch with themselves that men who part their hair on the left who are too concerned with their own masculinity. Also, I want to cut out Katy Perry's vocal cords but what's wrong with not having a neck? ;)

  48. Happy! I feel old. In high school I tried to figure out what group or "what" I was, then later realized I didn't fit into any "one size fits all." I still feel that way. As for what you're not, congrats on not being a loser or an asshole!

  49. Haha, this made me laugh. I can relate. I'm 29, an electrical engineer (the for real nerdy type - I design computer chips), could give a crap about computers the rest of the time, a thin female (blonde at that), I play volleyball, softball, and run a lot, I like to read anything and everything, I don't watch much TV, I like all kinds of music, and my passion is doing home improvement projects and building furniture. I've always been my own sort of genre I spose. I like it better that way. What's normal anyways?

    Happy birthday!

  50. One question. Do you ride a fixie? Probably. Ugh. Happy Birthday anyway you PBR swilling hipster toolbot.

  51. I'm with you, fuck stereotypes and fuck fitting in. Be who you want. I never really fit in with one group, but I did hang out with the goths and emos because they were the closest to me.

  52. Happy Birthday! You know I always had the same issue. I never fit into one particular group and for a while it kinda bothered me, but after high school I quite caring. I'd rather be a lot of interesting things that be stuck in one category. I still don't know exactly who I am, but I'm barely 22 so I have a while to figure it out.

    Also, I hate hipsters with every fiber of my being. Just throwing that out there.

  53. ROFL!

    Happy Birthday!

    *thinks back to when I was 28-years old*

    I never fit into any category. It was tough being different from the people around me, but as I got older, I was glad to be different.

    So different that I fell in love with a man from Germany, quit my high-paying IT job and moved to Germany for 5 months to concentrate on my writing and travel. Nuts to do in this economy, but life is too short to follow the norm. ;)

  54. MERRY BIRTHDAY! Yeah, that's right, I'm a trendsetter bitches.

    Gifts you gave to ME in this post:
    1. YOUR gym shirt
    2. Can of PBR
    3. Making the nerd say fuck

    Also, I'm very proud your tweeting.

  55. Happy Birthday! I can't seem to figure out where I fit in and I like it that way too. If you put all my friends in a room together they wouldn't know how to react because they are all so different.

  56. Wow! That was freakin hilarious! I'm sharing this with my buddies, they'll get a kick out of this! Happy birthday man, I'm 28 too. Not that it means anything, just sayin!

  57. Happy Birthday! I wore my hair shortish for a long time and I always told my stylist that I didn't want that 'White girls who like black dudes' haircut. You know the one where they spike it out in the back. I know I don't fit in that group. Not because I don't like black men, but because it's an ugly haircut.

  58. First off, Happy Birthday. Secondly, I always considered myself a floater, (no, not the stuff left over after a dump.)that is someone who can easily fit into all different types of groups. The third thing is, my nipples may have gotten erect after seeing the zune plug as well as city and colour.

  59. Great post, and happy birthday!
    I try to stick myself into stereotypes, and it doesn't work.
    Hence my blog.
    The look on peoples' faces when they find out I wrestle after we talk about video games or the environment or reading/writing. . .

  60. Happy Birthday! To be honest if you don't fit in a stereotype, it just means you don't know enough of them. There really is no reason to find category for people, we're not books or a file with genre on them.

  61. Happy birthday to you! I don't fall under any stereotype either so that makes us buddies right?

  62. I don;t fit into any of those whatchamacallits either. So we are alike!!!
    The shirt writing really cracked me up. Side jokes, in my terminology.
    IT guy talking was the best.

  63. I dunno if you read my recent hipster rant, but this is exactly what I was talking about. I have known hipsters who started hating entire recording labels after they got bought by a larger label =___=

    Ahaha, and I love the generous use of the word
    "twat" - so Brit.

    I guess the stereotype thing does not work after high school. I guess if I had to push it, I would put myself as a nerd, but not a computer nerd, but a Physics nerd. Which is weird because I'm studying Computer Science.

    But I can't stand being around other computer nerds, especially the hardcore Computer Science bastard children. A lot of them are sexist and they think they are better than everyone else. Revenge of the Nerds, I suppose.

    Happy Birthday! Please don't turn into a hipster XD

  64. Happy Happy Very Happy Birthday!

    Even I haven been able to figure out "what am i".never mind one day you will invent a new category.awesome post.

    wish you all the success :)

  65. My friend, you are a man about town, a coat of many colors, a candle in the wind. Okay, maybe not the candle thing. But I'm with you - fuck stereotypes. The world is not black and white but many shades of gray, and so are we all.

  66. Happy birthday :) a bit delayed, But I Hope you had an amazing day.

    Great post- Made my day.

    I strongly believe this is perhaps the greatest site ever, just saying!

  67. No classification for me, I'm just a general purpose flake who flies above fray.

  68. Gahahaha xD
    I am my own class B| I am Semi.

  69. Happehh belated birthday, I fall into the category...mentally insane but not insane enough for institutionalization.

    Actually, why do we try to put people in categories or try to fit in a certain category ourselves? Maybe we are trying to belong and we think it might help us to predict how people will behave, if they are in a certain category they surely have to behave a certain way? lets smoke some kittehs.

  70. I had this kind of thought yesterday too!

    I was listening to my flatties talk about hair straightening and how frustrating it was to do, and I realised I was the least knowledgeable about it, yet I live with males. does that mean I'm more masculine than I make out, and should I glue on a beard and make people call me Dave?

    I do pride myself on being able to do a wide range of blokey things, being able to work on my own car with the basics, being able to change a tyre, can ride a motorbike (both quad and 2 wheeled), can milk a cow, and alot of other useless things, that are completely useless to me now that I live in the city.

    Hmmm man or woman?? I guess the only obvious answer would be woman, as I don't have dangly bits, but who knows really

  71. I'm loving this blog more and more. I never really fitted into any particular groups as a kid, I was always (and still am) an odd one out. I'm not saying this to be the sort of 'oh look how different and crazy I am' annoying attention whore it's just that no particular group ever really appealed to me so I never got absorbed into those sub-cultures. I do know that I hate jocks, am interested in science (though not computers) and a keen musician, so make of that what you will :)

  72. Happy Birthday! I can relate to your not fitting in one stereo type. Let's just say we are well rounded individuals who never found necessary to "follow the sheep".. In school I talked to everyone: jocks, nerds, rich kids, potheads, foreign students, you name it! I could identify with each in some way but never followed any one click mainly because I didn't care for the BS of being pressured in to things to be part of them.
    The only who could tell me what to do (until age 18) were my parents and I wasn't about to let strangers talk me or manipulate me in to segregating myself from others. Because I did not belong to any one group I have never attended school reunions. I have high school friends some 24 years later and they are part of my life. I have no need to judge/compare myself/or be judged by people who I never cared enough to keep in touch with. .

    Like the great philosopher POPEYE: "I Yam What I Yam"

    One more thing.. LOVE the caption t-shirts.

  73. Lets see, I'm a proud member of the NRA and own multiple guns. I have also practiced cheerleading. I watch Beavis and Butthead religiously, but I also cry during A Walk To Remember. I am going into a major of Pulic Realtions and Advertising, but I also want to teach high school English. I listen to Kenny Rodgers and Taylor Swift. What does that make me? Way cooler then all the people out there trying to label themselves as something. I don't have time for that, I'm too busy being awesome. You are too, so don't worry about it!

  74. Fitting in is for the insecure. Happy birthday Bryan.
    Now that you have revealed it, maybe Zune will become mainstream. You can probably ask MS for a share.

  75. This comment has been removed by the author.

  76. Goddamnit! Almost every time I look at my comments there is some sort of typo. Some proofreader I am. ::insert squeaky fart sound::

  77. Love the Steve Jobs shirt! And really, I don't think I fall into any one category's nice to know another person who is just....themself.

  78. What you are is YOUNG, and since you're pushing 315 at the wheels, you must be a pilot. So there you have it: a young, creative, non-nerdy, slim-lined pilot. Happy birthday, Bryan!

  79. Happy birthday!! Just discovered your blog through Anne's Attic and I love it!

    I think you're a Bryan. And that's pretty rad.


  80. Sorry I missed your birthday. I had to run to the airport and catch a flight to Australia (I couldn't find a flight to the moon in such short notice) and stay as far away from Brandon's Ebola outbreak.

    Hope you had a blast! :)

  81. Happy belated birthday mate. 85 comments was too much to read through all of them, so I may well be repeating something already said. But living outside a genre box is always the best way to be. I'm in a similar situation but swap IT for literature. I can't fit in with lit types because I openly call the Bronte sisters boring drivel spinners. I am cast out!

  82. With 86 comments already, you've obviously sold out so there's no point in adding my comment to the pile.


    Rave on, fucker, and enjoy your life outside of the labels. It's much more fun to be a walking contradiction.

  83. HAHAHA. another great post. The last part made me lose my shit. so to say. the part where you say...Music: *sigh* A band you CLEARLY would not have heard of. If I told you, they'd become mainstream. HAHA. I totally get what you're saying, but now I really want to know what you're listening to. I like Indie/alternate music too. but i also like rap like Eminem and also Rock. Which leads me into your question about my stereotype, and I'd say I'm the same as you. I don't think I belong to a particular stereotype, I'd like to say I am my own stereotype. See one day I could be all classy and stuff and all proper, and the next wear baggy jeans and rap everything i say. So yeh, just stay cool and be awesome, orginal, don't be like anyone else. That's the secret, just be YOU!!

    ps. HAPPY HAPPY Birthday!!

    - Juliet x

    pps. I have no idea how you guys find the time to create your posts, and even read all your comments and even comment and checkout your followers blogs. Super Kudos to you both!

  84. I'm pretty much like that too. I like to call myself adaptable to hide away from the fact that I don't fit in with any one group in particular :C Love the t-shirts too, and happy belated birthday!

  85. Happy birthday to you! I am only 3 days late.

  86. Happy belated!!

    I think you perfectly captured each of those groups, lol. I especially like that the hipster is wearing pink glasses and a purple sweater. I actually just bought a purple sweater . .hey, wait a minute. . .

  87. Happy belated birthday man! Lol, great post.

  88. You sound perfect. I foresee a dwindling of the hipster population. Being a hipster is too mainstream these days...

  89. Jeez... I'm in HighSchool and I don't fit any category.. I'm just me..

  90. The hipster thing is dead on!!!And the t-shirts are awesome in this post! Nicely done! As for what you are...... my sources tell me you are a sarcastist!