Lately, I've been having trouble getting to sleep. I find my mind racing about the stupidest things. Sometimes it's worrying about whether I'll form an abcess overnight because I ran out of floss. Or occasionally I find myself contemplating the diabetes-defying superpowers of that girl from Precious. Hell, sometimes I even fret about midnight visits from Dr. Bungobungo. Tonight, however, as I itch my ass in bed, my imagination demands to talk about money...
Normally I'm not a huge fan of unwillingly loaning out my vital organs to Chinese businessmen, but hey, if it means I can finally get a good night's sleep, I guess you've got to make sacrifices. Here's to hoping I wake up.
Cheers,
brandon
Beer: Green Line
Music: Warren Zevon
72 comments:
That sounds like soothing dream, being able to assassinate your credit card. If only I could murder my auto loan, I would sleep the sleep of the righteous.
Love the picture of Stan Lee flipping the bird that watches over you as you slumber...and Dr. Bungobungo harvests your tender organs.
Love the Power Rangers blankets..nice touch!
I don't sleep well either, I think I've had a round or 2 with that credit card bandit myself!
Perhaps your dreams are offering you a solution? Sign up for credit cards AS Dr Bungobungo, and then don't pay them? He's living in your closet, its the least he could so.
This really turns me off of playing "Doctor" with my husband. Christ, he's gonna pissed at you guys when I tell him no tonight.
Love this post.
It's times like these I'm glad I don't have a closet. Throwing my clothes all over the floor has saved me from non accredited hack-job surgeons stealing my organs.
Ok.... now adding to my long list of things that Doctors need to have before I'll go to them...... Pants..... All doctors I visit now require pants.....
I know how those dreams feel. I got rid of the credit cards and I'm down to the student loans. I have Sallie Mae visiting my dreams.
If Dr Bungobungo give you a cut of the organ sale, it might be enough to pay off the credit card. I'm just sayin ;)
Love Stan Lee!
Nothing ruins a good nights sleep like thinking. My brain is my enemy far too often for my tastes. Sadly the brain dulling effects of alcohol don't make me get a good nights sleep either. Curses wheres my propofol?
Get as much money for those organs as you can from Dr. Bungobungo and pay off your credit card -- sheesh, sometimes the solution is staring you right in the face.
Your Western town made me think about that old screen saver that was a maze.
Remember that one? There would be rocks and rats, only when you got to them, the whole screen would turn upside down?
Your blog performed a VALUABLE service, reminding me of that!
It makes me confident that the money is coming your way any second now, kidney or no kidney...
That's not the traditional organ you're supposed to sell if you're desperate for cash, if you catch my drift...
Cut a deal with Dr. B (heh heh punny...) and make arrangements to harvest even more of your organs voluntarily and split the profits to pay off your eentrist. Like tonsils? You don't need those! People are giving them away for free, the stupid asses. Appendix? Another one that people foolishly give away for free. Testicles? As soon as you get married you surrender them to your wife anyway so you might as well sell 'em now and profit.
SOLUTIONS! I have them.
my credit card always beats me in the quick draw...
I wonder if we could just default our debt like the banks and then get some money from the government and hey presto holidays on the Bahamas!
I couldn't sleep last night either! My stoopid brain wouldn't shut off because my internal self was nagging about an unfinished home project. Asshole.
Great post as usual, gentlemen.
Yeah, I won't start having nightmares about my credit until after the holidays...then I'll have about 6 months worth!
I think you've solved your own problems, my friend.
Vital Organs = Cash money for credit card.
Buck up youngster
My sole credit card will forever be viewed as a small town out law.
Just a debit card here, but it doesn't stop the nonsensical nightmares, dammit all!
i think i love you!
As a seasoned insomniac, I feel your pain.
p.s. Warren Zevon- class choice!
no pants is much scarier than organ harvest
semi-nude operations, kinky.
If I fell asleep to a portrait of Stan Lee giving me the bird, I'd be a little restless myself...
Melatonin, me bucko. It's the shit.
Don't be such a baby, the good doctor was even kind of enough to shock you with the sight of his penis so you wouldn't notice the needle.
And yeah, I am aware of the huge controversy and that's why I'm even more surprised that I got paid at all.
My credit card will be the death of me. My favorite part was definitely the Power Ranger blanket! Now that's comedy.
Gotta watch those Zevon songs at bedtime. What was it this time, "Lawyers, Guns and Money?"
Go go Power Rangers. Lol. After you kill your Credit Card you can kill mine. Thanks.
So, bungobungo got his doctor degree to harvest human organs from youtube?
The dream I think it is not just yours, it is everyone's day-to-day nightmare.
I actually had my visa card's magnetic strip erode off because of all swiping in all stores. Then, I switched to online shopping to prevent that. Clever me :)
This november month bill, dont even get me started - with pc and furniture and stuff - I am sure ending up as assistant or bouncer to your "howdy sheriff visa card" to pay off the interest bills. And for actual payment, I am pledging my kids and my to-be grandkids and more for four more generations down.
Re Inflatable wimmin.
If you got rid of the Power Rangers bed cover you might stand a better chance of getting a real one.
I cant believe you used your real credit card number..... and on cyber monday!!! Thanks!! Im off to go buy me some of those inflatable wimmens you recommend!
That's exactly why I hate credit cards. I'm doing good so far. Kinda.
... Damn.
Is that all it takes to get a good nights sleep? Man, I've been doing it wrong for YEARS! I have a spare kidney or two, most of a good liver as well!
i used to worry compulsively at night as well. you should try listening to stuff (radio, lectures, etc.) when you go to sleep. it worked a treat for me.
I think you should stuff that credit card and market it! It's kinda cute.
I never had a credit card and, hopefully, never will. There's enough shit going through my mind already, not letting me sleep.
Hope you wake up from this too. We'll miss you terribly if you don't...
Aww! A Blue-Footed Booby!
I'm pretty sure everyone stresses about money this time of year.
Hell, I had a stress DREAM about money last night. It involved my car, vampire gloves (unfamiliar? google it) made out of (what I think were) banjo picks, and toothpaste.
Weird.
I gotta wonder though, if ultimately Dr. Bungobungo would be doing you a favor...you know, if he takes your second kidney, you'll slip away into sweet, sweet foreverness, and the the Visa man can't come after you...
:)
Jen
I have trouble sleeping too but I usually don't think of crazy things like that, or have a cupboard for a weird doctor to come out of and steal my organs.
Ahhhhh! I am going to have nightmares now! Well, I would have nightmares if I could actually fall asleep. I struggle with sleep. I try to count sheep, but then this pops into my head: http://www.dreadcentral.com/img/dvdgraphics2/blacksheepbig.jpg
I've watched one too many horror movies in my time.
Just burnt my credit card.
Well, that quickly denegraded into worse hell from hell.
Hey my names Brandon also :)
Wow, is that Stan Lee flying the bird on yer bedroom wall? I'm in awe...
Hang in there...I'm not sure if I'm more afraid of Mr. Buongobuongo, or your buddy who wears the ball-crushing yoga pants (or is that you?)
I don't see what the problem is...if you are selling black market organs you should have enough money to take care of that pesky credit card, the interest, and the tax man! Come on now...if Dr Bongobongo is going to operate at least get some of the kickback! Organs go for big $$ now!
Dr. Bungobungo looks oddly familiar... can't quite seem place it though...
You're not fooling me, Bryan!! :)
Hah, another funny comic. Talk about seedy Hong Kong alleys, I haven't seen any black market for organs, not yet at least. They are far more common if you head north over the border (stinking commie bastards).
Bit worried about Dr Bungobungo, that needle and your closet of inflatable wimmen (i have no idea if I spelled it like you did becasue there are way too many comments to go back and check)
After you take care of your credit card i have a housing loan that could use your attention
Sumbitch hahaha xD
See now in my nightmares I'm usually being chased by Sasquatch carrying a bag of my student loan statements ... but that's where we differ.
-ash
oddly enough i too have had this same strange dream. fuck off visa!
Nice cactus. That bird picture looks vaguely familiar...
hmmm.... next time you can't sleep i think you should avoid the dr. and the killer cc and perhaps pretend you are a power ranger?
my blanket has spongebob on it.
;-D robelyn
Selling your organs does sound like a good idea!
Nice Tombstone quote!!
Don't let Dr. Bungobungo take anything TOO vital, otherwise those inflatable wimmen will go to waste...
As long as I don't get a nocturnal prostate exam, dreamland doctors can have any organ they want (except my SPECIAL organ).
I seriously can't stop chuckling at this. Love the Power Ranger bedsheets.
risingnebula.blogspot.com
Troubles eat up a person. I've been down that road.
no worries. i think kidneys grow back.
Nightmares are good. They tell you you're still alive :)
cheers guys! i wish i could follow your blog more often, but yours trully has been on duty during the past 3 months. Check out amateurish military fashion posing on my blog for your own enjoyment! I hope you have fun !
http://delpanoz.blogspot.com/
Brandon, I'm no Dr. Bungobungo, but I'm pretty sure you have "Lady Brain". Many of us women have a bitch of a time falling asleep because we are thinking about 10 million things at a time. Side effects include moping around the day after saying things like "Oh maah gawd, I'm seeeeeeew tired!".
As for waking up with missing organs, well, that's a tougher issue to deal with. Perhaps you could lojack all your innards?
I wouldn't trust anything that came out of my closet let alone a doctor. Good luck with that.
Man, I'm glad I don't have your nightmares...
That's one crazy dream... cut up the plastic!
Haha mental O.o
Urgh, your credit card scenario is horribly familiar. New year resolution is to pay that fucker off.
I wish I had such lovely pictures on my wall.
I often struggle to nothing the change between dreams and reality, which is a double edged sword. If I wake up I no longer be able to fly and strut around in the nude without fear, but I also won't have hundreds of fleas and ticks devouring my flesh.
Just saw this today; I'm guessing you woke up eventually! Happy dreaming.
I read interest as a French person saying "Ehn-trest is the latest fad, dahling." Then I realized you were speaking like a creepy hispanolo.
I have a no-so-secret love affair with your blue footed booby. <3
Finally getting back to reading all the unread posts on my google stream. As for clearing my mind for a good sleep, a long night of work usually gives me a good day's sleep. But first, off to the market for some vitamin D supplements.
We have the same problem. I have a severe case of insomnia, it's so hard to sleep and I find my mind racing about the stupidest things. Anyhow, this is a very interesting post.
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