An inane day to you all.
Cheers,
Brandon
Also, what mysteries of the world keep you up at night?
Beer: La Fin Du Monde
Music: Arcangelo Corelli
Monday, October 10, 2011
Brewing Inanity
Like everyone else in the world, once Bryan and I have a few beers, we philosophize on the many wondrous and fantastic complexities of the universe...
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70 comments:
Incredibly inane but the toilet paper/hollywood scripts was quite apt and true.
That's not y'all in the van across from my house right now, is it?
I mean, it looks like the guys in your pictures and they are telling toilet paper jokes, so I figured it might be...
Lifestyles of the inane and drunk. Forgot Robert Leach, this show should be hosted by Charlie Sheen.
...and better a 'mexican wife' joke for Who Let the Dogs Out than a Michael Vick joke...
It's not mysteries of the world that keep me awake at night it's insomnia. And believe me when you haven't slept in 48 hours you really don't want to let your mind start pondering too much.....if you did you might never sleep again.
There's a reason sleep deprivation was used as a form of torture.
Is that really how you two dress for a night on the tiles ...
It's so hard to have mysteries that keep you up at night with the internet and the my husbands arch-nemesis, the Iphone. Anytime he has a good old fashioned debate with someone, they end up saying, "Here, I'll look it up on my Iphone." Takes all the damn mystery out of life.
It was beard day and you didn't invite me? I am a very insightful jew. I knew the answer to at least two of those existential questions. You'll never know now. And i will curse you with erectile dysfunction.
Harry Potter: The Pedophile Years, coming to all good book shops this Christmas.
What keeps me up at night is wondering why wasps are so angry? They've got such a chip on their thorax.
Haha, I was wondering about the beard the whole time too. With those outfits, you guys just must be attracting all the ladies at the bars. It's a wonder your wife even lets you go alone ;) I can't think of any good mysteries right now. Maybe I'll have a few glasses of wine and then comment. Hey, it is afternoon here!
TexaGermaFinlaNadian
Hahaha!! THESE are such great questions and answers. Love it!
Definitely Indiana: http://indianasucks.info/
I dont care what anyone days, you two can rock the face warmers! (beards)
Who let the dogs out remains as big a question as just what Meatloaf won't do for love.
Those pieces of toilet paper stapled together to make a Hollywood script end up being Jennifer Aniston movies.
Jay
Which one of you wants to predict my next lottery numbers?
I agree with vanyelmoon, there are rarely any mysteries now...."Google it" often pops in to my head. Plus, gotta love toilet paper jokes =)
Awwww, and here I thought I was the only one who went out and bought that beard.... I felt special!
For the past two summers, our university has hosted a group of aspiring high school teachers who want to feel better about themselves... anyway, there are many work shops that all break at the same time... and they overload the sewer lines on campus... blerk!!!!
You can only imagine!!!
~shoes~
You guys look hot in those outfits! If I saw you sitting at a bar, philosophising about where shit goes, I would buy you both a beer. Just saying.
You know, that'd be me alright. Give me an extra beer than necessary and all that comes to mind. Who DID let the dogs out?
To respond to the question of the destination of the entirety of all human defecation, I have formulated a mathematical equation that should explain it.
If x = defecation
and y = number of humans on earth
then
y to the power of x = Hugh Jackman
Shitty films remaining constant
At least now we know why he's so full of shit.
But I hope that explains it :)
Epic dreams of rock stars and famous people, mosquitos and my cat, Pickles attacking my toes.
I cannot say that I've ever pondered the tonnage of human excrement while drinking.
that guy is jacking my style with the purple wizard robe.
Great Post! Kanye West ego bit was hilarious.
Damn it, now you've got me seriously thinking about the context of "who let the dogs out".
The beard a sconce is an excellent touch. True artists of the form. And the poo is all funneled to New Jersey where it is incinerated, giving that state it's lovely, constant stank.
I wonder about the picture behind you two sexy cartoon men.
Is she a GIANT woman, or is it a tiny shark?
Can she breathe under water or has she just trained the shark to scoop her up as he surfaces?
And if she did, how long did it take er to train him? Did she get bitten in the process?
Does taming a shark give you super powers?
And lastly, why does that shark look so sad? He has a pretty hot girl straddling him!
:)
Hooray for Monday!
Jen
Bahaha! I agree with all of this! Especially about Kanye - I bet no girl lets him finish.
I lost it at "Hollywood film scripts"... you guys are truly genius.
Don't discount the amount of shit pumped into political parties. I'm sure you could fertilize most of the midwest with it. Oh wait, they already do.
Fake beards...hmm, really thought you were women on the way to a good stoning...
Who did let the dogs out? That is a great question. And now I am going to ponder where all the poop goes today. You're right, poop makes for an interesting conversation!
Haha! You two should have drunken conversations more often. Not that I'm encouraging drunkennesss or anything . . .
The bit about Kanye West's ego definitely made me laugh out loud!
~ Angela
grahamandangela.blogspot.com
I hope you two really do dress up like that when you go out drinking.
And spot on with what happens to all the world's used toilet paper. I'm pretty sure they used most of it to write Zoo Keeper.
This is a very good question, who let the dogs out? And what is willis talking about?
You guys are absolutely random but I still love ya. So glad to see that I'm not the only one who wonders about absolutely insane things. I often wonder about the ratio of actual water to water life feces/urine. I am also left awake at night wondering if somewhere out there 2 men are sitting in a bar in wizard robes and a fake beard discussing insane topics while a woman rides a silver shark in the background...man I lose a lot of sleep over that one.
C'mon now! I live in Indiana, why must the poop come here?! Just what are you saying exactly?
One of the great mysteries that keep me up at night is....well shit I don't know! So much keeps me up that I can't pick one thing!
Ahh yes! Money! Not a mystery but non-existent in this house and it's a mystery that my family has a roof over our heads!
You sir are +10 for using the word indubitably. Excellent!
Now that's what I can philosophizing. I mean, where DOES all that shit go? Just lose the outfits, guys!
Kanye West is a lyrical wordsmith, didn't you know?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dn4TrtK4JaI
You guys posted late today. Thought you were taking Columbus Day off. I hope the poop and socks don't wind up in the same place and if they do, that neither ever comes back.
My kind of guys! I would have loved to bump into you two at the bar.
bahaha, this one's great.
im totally hooked on your posts.
and to answer your question to what keeps me up at night?
Does anyone really know what time it is?
....and if you dont get that reference, I'm probably a total geek.
Soylent Green is POOP!!
Speaking from experience, it all goes to Houston. Trust me.
Now, wait a minute. Who really let the dogs out? That's gonna keep me up tonight.
Hilarious! I solve the world's mysteries while on the pot (I'm there a lot). Coincidentally, my fiance' just posted a blog about pit bulls on Le Dilettante.
What keeps me up at night is Bruce snoring! Or the drunk lady's sister screaming at 1:00 in the morning on her cell phone down the street. You guys rock!
Every time someone mentions "who let the dogs out", I think about the time we passed a field of cows grazing and my son said, "who let the cows out, moo, moo", lol.
And I too wonder what the hell Meatloaf won't do for love!
Ahh, so many questions, so little time to find all the answers... :sigh:
Kanye burn, nice work.
And since he's full of methane he could power a suburb
Would that make him renewables
I think a lot about the dark side of the moon. I'm quite sure Earth is just some crazy experiment and the side we never see houses the research facilities. UFOs are probes to collect samples and scare drunk teenagers.
Heh, I have no life either.
That does it, next time I go drinking I need to look like a pedophillic wizard with a prophet's beard. It's settled.
I always find answers to those unanswerable questions when I've had a few glasses (bottles?) of wine... Sadly, I never can remember the answers. Damn it all.
Also, pedophilic girl wizards don't have the same stigma... so maybe dress up like Hermione instead ;)
Ha, I guess that is indeed where all the crap Hollywood scripts came from, good to know.
My hubby works in a sewage treatment plant and I know way more about what happens to the shit than I ever thought I would or ever wanted to. Not the most wonderful dinner conversation.
You guys cant hide from me in those disguises you know.
Which mysteries?......
Dave, will I dream?
I hope he does :)
Guys, I'm totally flattered at the nice stuff you said *blushing slightly* but don't feel you need to comment just 'cos I comment on yours - your stuff cracks me up and I think it's great - you deserve to be published...... (and thanks to you I discovered that the soap dish in my shower holds a glass of shiraz perfectly - happy days!)
I enjoy the false prophet beard.
After close review.... your beer glasses don't appear to be getting any emptier the whole time you two are "drinking" at the bar.... Everybody knows you can't answer any real questions nursing a beer!
Indian, it definatly goes to Indiana.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
true story
That was hilarious. I really liked the shit and toilet paper part.
Hahaha I'm glad someone got it ;)
P.s. feel free to haunt me.
~JD
i agree with CWMARTIN Soylent Green IS POOP!!! Laughed my ass off at that! BTW can't wait for your submission I'm Sure it will be "AWESOMENISITY" at it's finest!!!
I've often wondered exactly how much belly button lint I would need to collect before it became relevant.
You guys are fantastic. Keep up the inanities. They make my world a happier place.
Speaking of Hollywood scripts...I often wonder if we will ever be exposed to a truly original masterpiece that isn't a remake, a sequel, or something based off a comic book.
Also, why the hell do people get wisdom teeth if we all need them pulled anyway?
And ants. What good are they? If they serve a purpose other than invading my living quarters, I have yet to find it.
I could keep going. I guess I won't be sleeping much tonight.
Another post worthy of my time. Thanks guys.
The most philosophical I get is 'should I get up and pee, or should I bury myself in the sheets and have an uncomfortable bladder in the morning?'
When I'm drunk I tend to think about little more than booze, food, and sex.
lol
Nice ones. :D
haha love these cartoons, keep em coming. XD
Love this - you know you've drunk too much when you have a discussion about drinking beer while drinking beer... and discussing it. Beerception!
@Mynx - I have a friend who works in sewer treatment, he told me once that the tomato seeds that get passed on via your poop can actually start to grow into plants. Has your hubby witnessed such a miracle?
You think about the poop? :P
I generally click my fingers and say atleast 1 person was born or was dead now!
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