The 4 Things I Learned in Chicago

              So I’m still in Chicago, scheduled to head back tonight, and so far I’ve been having a blast. I’ve seen yelling on the subway, coming from a feisty black woman who exercised her first amendment right because, according to her, “I am not incarcerated at this time.” I saw a fat old woman try to waddle out of a high end department store carrying a black trash bag full of clothes (how did that plan not work?). I’ve been challenged to a rap battle by a homeless looking, out-of-work “independent artist,” as he called himself between tokes.

               I’ve learned a lot while I’ve been here. So has Brandon. And so we present to you…

               The 4 Things We Learned About Chicago

#1: 90% of the black women look like Precious… and they like-a the white meat.

#2: Don’t make eye contact on the subway. It almost always triggers a Fuck or Fight type of response.

#3: It takes a resourceful, intelligent, and innovative mind… if you’re going to be homeless. Rather than wheel around pop cans and copper wiring, these pioneers of the street fill their shopping carts to the brim with supplies and materials that help them survive the harshest of winters.

#4: This neighborhood is full of hipsters. I’ve never seen so much flannel, greasy hair, and big, stupid plastic glasses in my life. Hell, even the bartenders are hipsters.

And now, regretfully, I head back to Colorado.

Cheers and stay classy, folks,

B&B

Beer: Skinny Pete's "hard lemonade"

Music: The Kooks