Thursday, September 29, 2011

I Like My In-Laws, and I Don't Quite Know Why

         As of yesterday, my in-laws are here to visit. They gave us 48 hours notice, in which they said "we're driving out, we'll arrive at 1 in the morning, and we'll be staying at your place for a few days." None of this was a question; we were simply being informed of what was going to happen.
        And oddly enough... I don't mind.
        If you've ever watched a stereotypical, cliched family sitcom (think Everybody Loves Raymond), you know that the average person is supposed to hate their in-laws. These people are supposed to be annoying, pushy, and always asking about grandchildren. But mine, well, they're more than tolerable.
         For starters, my mother-in-law is cool. As in, probably cooler than I am. I wish I was making this up.


        She works at the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas, in the VIP suites. Hell, let's just compare her average week against my average week.














        Yes, she's really friends with Manny Pacquaio, and yes, she gave us his autographed picture because she just truly doesn't give a shit about boxing.


             Also, it is indeed true that she once asked Will.I.Am to play her a song on his guitar... a song that wasn't even his. He sang it anyway, and now apparently they're friends.
             I don't fucking believe it either.

             So let's move on to my father-in-law. He's very... uncool. He loves nerdy gadgets, he's very frugal, and he looks exactly like Kim Jong Il (including the glasses, squarish hair, and squinty eyes).


         We bonded over technology, and surprisingly, he knows a lot more about it than your average 50-something. He's very friendly, and quite nice to us, but he's also very stubborn. Especially when it comes to cars, which he knows very little about. And I, on the other hand, live and breathe cars (I have 2 Fords and an Audi, all of which I like to make faster and all of which I work on myself). I also have no particular allegiance to auto brands, and don't believe that any one brand is superior to another.
         However, tell that to my father-in-law. The following is a very real (and very awkward) conversation we had a while back.

















In case you're wondering, that's the mother of all face palms.

And oddly enough, as long as you don't talk to him about cars, my father-in-law is a great guy and a lot of fun to talk to. So how about you guys? Do you like your in-laws/prospective in-laws (if you're just dating)?

Stay classy, friends,
Bryan

Mood: Still pretty bummed that the closest I've come to a real star is Al Roker's autographed picture, which yes, as I've shown in previous posts, is framed and sitting on my desk.
Beer: Fat Tire
Music: Sondre Lerche

84 comments:

  1. I can't decide whether I want to be a really cool motherinlaw or the mother in law from hell. It could go either way I figure. But I have time to work on it, thank goodness.

    Hey you guys gonna do a little magic for my giveaway? Just wondering

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  2. My ex in laws are awesome, my in laws now are a bunch of douche bags that I don't even talk too.

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  3. Well Bryan, sitting at home, drinking, writing and watching cat videos and still owning two well-maintained Fords and an Audi is pretty cool, you know :)

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  4. My in-laws want me to marry their daughter or it's because I keep her from moving back home...who knows?

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  5. My parents have been cooler than me for years. And it's not in a 'those people are trying to hard' kinda way - they are just naturally cool.

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  6. My inlaws are stuck in the 50's ~ my mother inlaw never leaves the house, and her husband works the 9-5 job. He comes home and expects an apertif to be wainting and dinner to be served by six. I have nothing in common with either of them. My parents are even worse. I think I would pack my bags and leave if either set of parents called and said they were coming. Count your blessings :)
    I agree with you on cars. They all have flaws. I own a 66 Mustang(stuck in the garage, in perpetual restoration), a 94 Mercedes E420 and a 08 Hyundai. They all have their quirks, but I love them all.

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  7. Your mother in law really is awesome. It's rare to like the in-laws if you ask me. Every couple I know has bad to terrible in-laws. My brother has a used Subaru with over 100,000 miles on it that keeps breaking down and so far he's had to replace the clutch, and other things, and the exhaust is going soon. I think when it's fixed though it should run okay. My dad has a Citroen Xsara with about the same mileage, and it's very very reliable. I don't know how reliable either of them will be at 200,000 though.

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  8. I would have wholeheartedly agreed with your father-in-law up until just a couple of years ago when Toyota starting having all its . . . well, let's just say . . . "troubles." I would have also reminded you that FORD is an acronym for "Fix Or Repair Daily."

    Too bad he looks like Kim Il Jong, though. Very unfortunate.

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  9. My in-laws are pretty decent. Mother in law LOVES me, she's always buying me presents and get really really happy when we go their place.
    Father in law is a funny drunk, so yeah i guess it cuold be worse hahahah it gets annoying from time to time but all in all is pretty funny.
    And congrats for having the coolest mother in law ever.

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  10. My potential in-laws (currently engaged) are pretty awesome. And I'm not just saying that because her dad is 6"4, three times my weight and is built like a truck driver (probably because he used to be one). He also collects stamps!

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  11. Your mother in law sounds so cool! :D
    Though I'm not into boxing either, and honestly, I wouldn't have even known who he was. >.<

    And to answer your question...honestly...I'm more worried about MY parents hating him. :/

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  12. Damn! Why cant my girlfriends parents be that cool... Maybe if you play your cards right you can meet Manny himself! :D

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  13. Will.I.Am can play a musical instrument?

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  14. I don't have in-laws (not married), or potential in-laws (I'm a lonely college student). But I hope my in-laws can be as cool as yours one day.

    Your mother-in-law sounds totally awesome! If I was her I would start auctioning off autographs on ebay....

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  15. My MIL is the shit. I love that woman. The whole family is pretty damn decent, even if I bitch about them on occasion.

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  16. It seems like you share a healthy growing relationship with your in-laws. I hope when the time comes, I will share the same experience but just void of one thing. Unlike you, I have absolutely no aptitude when it comes to cars. As long as I have a car that gets me from point A to point B, I'm more than fine. I don't want to give the auto-buff father-in-law noobish responses.
    F.I.L.: So, tell me about the car that you will be showing off my girl in.
    Noob: Um, you know, it has everything you could possibly need. Like, you know, a steering wheel, seat belts, seats in the back, it's a hooptie, hinged doors, mirrors, and this state of the art radio!
    F.I.L: Wait...Wait, did you just say hooptie? We aren't going to get along are we?
    Noob: Fuck!

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  17. My in-laws...oi. I like my father-in-law, as long as we don't talk politics. He's a big sports fan and he's really helpful and generous. Great guy.

    My mother-in-law is a different story. She's a total hoarder, and she's also stubborn and forgetful so she assumes that *everything* is hers, even when it isn't. (This also applies to any general conversation in which she thinks she's right--but isn't.) You can't play a board game with her, because if you screw up she'll berate you, and if you win she'll accuse you of cheating--even if you're a kid. *especially* if you're a kid.

    And don't get me started on her obsession with pictures. She has hundreds of family photo albums, and absolutely *must* capture every single moment of our lives on film, even the embarrassing ones.
    *especially* the embarrassing ones. And we are NOT a very photogenic family, even at our best.The entire family groans when she tries to take a picture. My infant daughter has already learned to turn her head away. Ma just yells at her like she's doing it on purpose (which, she kind of is.)

    So...yeah. Sorry for the long-winded rant. Had to get that out somehow.

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  18. I think my husband can handle his in-laws but I cant. Yep, me and my mother are like proton and proton in a nucleus, try breaking and you may end up with a atomic explosion.
    And the chat between you and father-in-law isnt the most exciting fruitful conversion. rite? Maybe my hubby could find it amusing.

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  19. Epic face palm, that was pretty solid.

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  20. My husband thinks his mother likes me more than she likes him. So, I'm one for two. My mother and father are the crazy ones that we roll our eyes about.

    As for cars, I'll agree that it is all how you treat them. I had a VW Jetta that I sold at 247,000 and I was sad to part with it. It's all about the maintenance and preventative care (like changing the oil, yo).

    However, my dad is a die hard Dodge man, and he has tons of issues with his truck. Sigh.

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  21. You lucky mofo, at least you have interesting people to talk to. Mine are all "want some interesting yet inedible food dish? OF COURSE YOU DO"

    Lucky.. bastard.. f***.

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  22. Yet another funny post. I really love your guys' blog!

    I'm lucky; I married into an amazing family. I actually look forward to when they come visit.

    Very jealous of your mother-in-law!

    ~ Angela
    grahamandangela.blogspot.com

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  23. My mother-in-law see's me as "poor Irish", she hates animals and keeps saying she wished her son had married a nice "Christian" girl. One of these days I'll have Father Kiernan turn her into a stone dragon. My father-in-law is a lound, loveable drunk. We adore each other.

    If I was gay, I'd ask you for your mother-in-laws phone number. She'd be fun on a date.

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  24. Your in-laws sound fun. Ford Rangers are like tanks. My brother has had one forever and it's gone through a flood, tornado, winter crashes, and it still runs.

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  25. I was born and raised in Vegas.....My ex-mother in-law was the highest paid call girl in the 70's grossing 1.6 million a year. She also serviced a lot of the mod members back then.....She also had a serious meth and cocaine addiction. She about to be 60 years old and she is still way cooler than I because she still parties like its the 70's.....My mom, she is much younger, still parties like its the 70's too....lol

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  26. Dude, you have an autographed...and doodled Al Roker original!?! The hilariousness of this alone is worth a thousand Will.I.am acoustic sets (unless you get to smother Will.i.am with an ether rag and send him through a wood chipper afterwards).
    My Mother in law is great. Very nice lady.Father in law while not a well-drawn Kim Jong Il is...kind of a dick. Oh well 50/50 aint bad.
    By the way, I'm currently working on my Weird Al remix of the Shaft theme song just so I can fit in the line "baddest mother...Shut your mouth! Just talking about flower print sweaters." It's still being work-shopped.

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  27. I was out at Skywalker Ranch not too long ago (to see an HD presentation of LotR), and George Lucas said "howdy" to me.

    Unfortunately, about the time my mother-in-law got cool, she also got cancer. She died about a year ago.

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  28. So, I'm guessing that your Mother in Law would completely agree with me that Floyd Mayweather is afraid of Manny Pacquiao? I'm sure she would.

    Jay

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  29. OMG your motther-in-law is balling!! :p ..i'm so jealous!
    I dnt have in-laws yet, i hope hope HOPE i dnt get the stereotypical irritating ones!

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  30. I have never been married.

    But I think I will be a cool mother in law, well unless the bitch hurts my baby.

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  31. And it's FAT Al Roker!

    Fail :)

    But at least you can talk about it. I've signed 'confidentiality' notes with most of the celebs I've met.

    Although, my lawer buddies tell me they aren't binding.

    Hmmm.
    WELL!

    As for inlaws...
    Not gonna lie; the parents of a guy I dated FOR YEARS were the cause of our break-up. He asked me to marry him...I told him after his parents were both dead, he could try again.

    They were HORRIBLE humans. And I'm being gracious by calling them humans.

    HAPPY HNT!!! (You know, cartoon YOUS should do a little HNT, too. Afterall, no real harm can be done!)

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  32. I totally loved this one!

    Friends with Will.I.Am :( And I paid 100 fucking quid to watch his show in London. Sigh, why is she not friends with Fergie :D That would have been even better ;)

    Cheers
    Chin

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  33. Sounds like my typical week. Your week not your mother-in-laws. I think she's an over achiever. Sob, what am I doing with my life?!

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  34. seriously? it's 9/29 still and I am number 30 something in comments..stop being popular. I suppose I'm only helping that cause.

    LOVE my in laws although sorta nuts. Father-in-law was in Vietnam the whole nine and may kill you in his sleep. He's a bachelor and loves women. He's 60 going on 35.
    Madre-in-law loves working out and loves to love her little boy who doesn't like to be loved aka babied.

    overall I give them a 9.5

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  35. A signed picture from Manny AND Al Roker? Goddamn bro, gimme your in-laws!

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  36. That is fucking hilarious! Your entire strip just made me laugh out loud at the San Jose airport, which is apparently verboten (although texting and talking loudly on a cell phone is not.)

    So did you give him a ride?

    Sort of reminds me of my grandfather, who is endlessly bitching about how China is going to take over the world and then exclusively shops at Wal-Mart, but doesn't make the connection. But he's a real prick and not as fun (except that it is fun to laugh at our own impersonations of him.)

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  37. My mother in law is is goofy and annoying with streaks of evil. She was threatening to take our child away from us before the kid was even born! She also offers us money and then holds it against us, like she owns us or something. Although lately she seems to have learned to keep her nose out of our business.

    My father in law is cool. I don't really have any beef with him. To him, I am the son he never had and he has filled the shoes as a father figure since my real dad died.

    I guess I can't complain too much. They're cool!

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  38. Woah, your mum in law really is badass. Dad in law... arrg. Can't stand it when people stereotype care companies. If you use high quality oil you can get just about any car past 200k.

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  39. My potential in-laws are fucking awesome. I seriously like them more than I like my own family. My BF's mom buys me stuff constantly(more than she buys for him) and all of his aunts, uncles, and cousins have been really great to me. I love them all :)

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  40. Back when I was married, my in-laws were wonderful to me, for which I was very grateful. Before them, the parents of every girlfriend I ever had hated me. But in this case, I think that since her previous husband was a complete douchenozzle, I looked like a star in comparison.

    Oh, and Joan Jett used to recognize me backstage. She didn't remember my name but would come over to me first. Stalking pays off!

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  41. Don't feel too bad...your mother in law is cooler than pretty much anyone I know. Al Rocker though? haha. That is pretty awesome. I haven't met many celebrities unless you count hockey and baseball players and a couple movie stars plus some star sightings and whispered "Oh my god...it's ____" while walking around Philly or NY.

    I refuse to debate cars, politics, or religion with people. I also refuse to talk to anyone who supports the Penguins hockey team.

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  42. I like my soon to be in laws. They are both people I probably wouldn't hang with unless they were you know, my in laws. But I've spent a lot of quality time with both of them and we get along fine.

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  43. My (potential) mother in law is hilarious, but I don't talk to them much because they speak a different language.

    I feel sorry for my girlfriend, her (potential) in laws are hard work

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  44. I got a signed autograph through the mail of Fred Savage when I was 12, so, you know, I'm pretty cool...

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  45. "A Beer for the Shower" has been included in this weeks Sites To See. I hope this helps to attract many new visitors here.

    http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2011/09/sites-to-see_30.html

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  46. I have a signed autograph of some obscure weatherman from Oklahoma.

    I'm that awesome.

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  47. Wow - if I ever get married I hope I get cool in-laws.

    I always hear the horror stories so it's pretty neat to read the opposite.

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  48. You do NOT really have a framed, signed photo on your desk, haha. Thought that was just for the cartoon! Too funny. Thanks for pointing out that your wrote about in laws too. I honestly don't know if I could marry someone whose family I did not get along with. What a miserable time that would be. We are pretty lucky ducks. Have fun with the fam!

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  49. Your wife is lucky.

    I'm sure her mom could convince that wrestler dude to walk around topless for half an hour.

    ....Still drooling.

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  50. My Father In Law is obsessed with his Jeep. but otherwise, the In-Laws are awesome.

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  51. My mother in law is a native Korean who speaks Swedish and now lives in South Africa. There is nothing like being critiqued in what sounds eerily like some kind of Klingon dialect.

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  52. Ah, so that's the dude eating the hotdog. The closest I've ever come to meeting a celebrity was Max Brooks, author of the zombie survival guide, which counts I suppose, right? I try not to get too worked up about 'celebrities' - I mean everyone wipes their own arse at the end of the day.

    I don't really have in-laws as such, but there's my boyfriends mother. She showers me with smiles and omelettes every time I come round, so I don't have a bad word to say about her. Although it isn't a literal shower of omelettes, cheese and hygiene don't mix so well.

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  53. Your mother in law has better stories than most of us. I am very fond of my ex bf friends parents. His dad and I share the same guilty pleasure -making jokes at inappropriate moments. He wanted me to chase after the polish TV cable guy there recently. Still go up for a visit from time to time.

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  54. LOL mother of all face palms!!

    I feel like you when I talk about my life. 'Uh yea I play video games and work.... run a website :X "

    I can relate with you about the car thing. I've recently picked up working on cars (it's fun!) and there are flaws with every car. Things just wear out! None are perfect, not even your exotic expensive cars

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  55. I'm not married so no in-laws for me. I am usually not a hit with parents though. When I was in college, one girls parents even disenrolled her, moved her home and locked her in her room like she was mother freakin Rapunzel. Sound like you got it made. Rock on.

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  56. Wait, is that framed picture really Pacquiao? Of course, he can get away with it since he's a badass but...

    Cracked up at retreat to room. Mental image was you traumatized in the fetal position, thumbsucking, saying "no flower print" over and over.

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  57. I totally want to meet your mother in law, too. Maybe she can hook us all up with jobs where she works?

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  58. I MET Tom Hanks at this movie theater once....
    actually I have met several stars there also...
    Julia Roberts,Pauly Shore and even Dustin Diamond (Screech) too. Then there was this basketball game a while back and I met Lebron and Dwayne Wade. In truth I meet stars almost every night.

    Sincerely,
    Guy who thinks TV and Movies are real

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  59. how did your mother-in-law and father-in-law met? haha

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  60. Wow. You have to be asking yourself some pretty serious questions when your in-laws are WAY more cool than you! Seriously. That's not cool.
    Time to step it up!
    Although.... I think you're pretty cool. Literary wise, I mean, as I don't actually know you.

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  61. thats pretty awesome, she sounds like a really rad lady.

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  62. Great stuff! The mother of all facepalms made me pee myself a little.
    be careful with that. it's powerful stuff.

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  63. Great pictures within the post! Excellent to look at! Keep up the great work because you're excellent at it!

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  64. Your mother-in-laws boobs are awesome. That is all.

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  65. It is proly those punching bags that caught Manny's attention lol

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  66. Hilarious! The faceplant is brill - needs to be on a t-shirt. my inlaws didn't like memat all, never even came to the wedding. We achieved a sort of detente eventually, thank goodness, but mine were never as cool as yours. Thanks for following my blog and welcome, hope you enjoy. Going to rummage around on yours now.

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  67. Ex Mother-in-law despised me and blamed me for taking away her baby (30 yr old son) and moving him to Utah.

    Current boyfriends Father adores me and has bought me jewelry which makes me adore him. Also, it doesn't hurt that he lives on the other side of the country.

    LOVE the eyes shooting out the back btw.

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  68. Your Father-in-law reminds me of my girlfriend's dad except replace cars with computers.

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  69. wow. ur lucky. over here in the UK, ever1 hates their in-laws, but is super nice to them, because secretly we want to be in their will...And they then dream about their untimely demise...and renovating the house they inherit
    I'm almost 16, but after living in such a dysfunctional family, u learn things...scarring things.
    If your wondering, i haven't had therapy yet...

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  70. Yhats THE conversation xD :D:D www.everydaymckiewicz.blogspot.com

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  71. Your mother-in-law story reminded me of the new Audi commercials where great things go unnoticed...like the guy who doesn't realize he's talking to Phil Jackson and the dad who lets his dog play with a prized autographed baseball.

    I did find the irony in your father-in-law story very amusing.

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  72. The mother of all face palms... that's one to remember. As for my parents-in-law, well, they hate me even though they have never ever ever met me (and that's no joke for I'm not laughing).
    :)
    Oh yes I am.

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  73. I have a friend who bar tends in Hollywood, she had to wait to close for this guy named Ben Folds (who is my idol). He told her who he was and she didn't know him, so he played "Brick" on the piano for her and she still didn't know who he was so she played a more upbeat song for him on the piano. He liked it so much, they are recording together....how freakin' lucky is that?!

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  74. Hey guys i have something right up your alley...check out my page and click on the "design my page" link at the top. i was thinking about this blog when i put up the page. don't let me down!!!!

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  75. nice comics. I couldn't find the following button on your blog tho.

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  76. But it has a smiley face on it! ???? Sorry your life is lame. (:

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  77. wow what an awesome blog site mine is unfinished but here it is http://simpsonpicturesthatigoneanddone.blogspot.com/ have a look at some of the simpson drawings i attempted

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  78. Out of all the pics on here... mother of all face palms is probably my favourite!

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