Worst. Party. Ever. (Part I)

        We've all been to some really good parties. Great music, great mood, great friends, and great drinks all making for a great time. But what about those dud parties? The ones where people just stand around like it's a middle school dance--awkward, unsure what to do. Or the ones where everyone's having fun and someone ruins it with a drunken fight--be it physical or verbal--and everyone's left with awkward silence for the rest of the night. Or how about when no one shows up, and you're left with two people you barely know, trying to drink a beer that just won't go down fast enough so you can utter your excuse about having to be somewhere else and slipping out?
         We've all been there, but some parties are worse than others. These are the worst parties we've ever been to.

        I'll start. This is me, as a teenager.

         Which is really weird, since as a teenager I didn't have much acne, and I certainly didn't have a mullet, or braces, and I've never worn glasses... I actually looked just about the same as I do now (thank you genetics), but I guess for today's blast from the past, it's more fun to visualize me this way.
         About 5-10 years ago, I got invited to a party by a few people I worked with. They seemed cool enough at work--didn't give a shit about what they were doing, were fun to joke around with, etc. I figured, hey, maybe it'll be fun.
        It was not.
        I should have known to leave the moment I showed up and everyone wanted to start with a prayer.

           Yes, that's right, it was a religious-themed party full of hardcore Christians that believed drinking was a sin. I tried to leave, but they insisted I stay, even if I had brought "the devil's drink" with me. It was gonna be a long night. Once the G-rated movies started and they were distracted, I broke free to scout out a snack. The party was a bust, but at least I could fill myself with some free food, right? Wrong. This proved to be no easy task. Apparently even eating is a sin.

           Who brings communion bread and grape juice to a party--I mean, really? At least if it was wine (as the Bible SAYS) I could have had a little fun.
            2 hours passed, and things were only getting worse. I finally decided to escape, but the host of the party was no help. I think she liked me.

              And from then on, whenever they asked me to another party, I was always busy. Always. And on that night, let me tell you, friends, I got SO much elbow.
              Stay tuned for Wednesday when Brandon tells about his worst party experience. And in the meanwhile, what's the worst party you've ever been to?

Stay classy, friends,
Bryan

Mood: Feeling a little cannibalistic (I ate a LOT of Jesus)
Beer: Fat Tire
Shower: It's not a sin to drink beer in the shower, is it?