Monday, August 15, 2011

Getting BoN'd by Google

So, the fine folks at Google must have passed out drunk on their keyboards, because Bryan and I somehow managed to get selected for Blog of Note last Friday. And as a result, this weekend our webpage has had enough new visitor traffic to give Paris Hilton’s mattress a run for its money. Thanks for stopping by, everybody. Much like the hotel heiress’s stained Sealy, all are welcome here. But, please, bring protection. Your computer doesn’t deserve e-herpes because of the smut you choose to read.
On the subject of skanky free-spirited celebrity antics, Bryan and I have been enjoying our time in the Blogger limelight. Although I have to admit, being famous isn’t quite what I always imagined it would be. We spent the weekend doing all the things famous people do, trying to fit in with our superstar peers, and met with mixed results.
First, I decided to hit the town for a good old-fashioned booze bender, but I kept getting hassled by photographers.







Not wanting to be bothered by starstruck admirers, I decided to use my superior social status to get into the VIP-room. But, I encountered some resistance.







Forty-eight seconds later I was facedown in the gutter with a dollar bill stuffed in my ear. What can I say? Jealousy is an ugly, ugly thing. Sure, the bouncer was a dick, but what should you expect from a man who looks like a walking penis? However, when he chucked me out of the club, it gave me the opportunity to perform the coup-de-grace of any celebrity night out. I borrowed some Porsche keys from the valet booth, drag-raced that sucker into the side of Sears Tower, and woke up the next day in county jail. Top that, Charlie Sheen. I can’t wait to see my mugshot on Defamer.


            And let's not forget me (Bryan). Now that success has hit, I want to party like the rockstar that I know I am. No, I don't mean drinking a couple of beers and smashing a lamp or two in a 1-star hotel room, I mean hardcore to the max.
            Like drugs. Now, I've never been one for drugs, but if I'm going to party like a rockstar, I can't just smoke myself into a marijuana induced coma and walk around like an elderly zombie. No, I need something like meth. Or black tar heroin. Or wait, what's more hardcore than heroin? Oh yes, I know. Injecting yourself with the stuff it's cut with.






            Okay, so I don't want to die. Scratch that. If I want to live more than 24 hours, maybe I can just cut straight to the rockstar and get a killer guitar. Never mind that I can't play one; when you're a rockstar, that doesn't matter. All I need is a really good guitar. A special guitar. It's going to have to be a guitar so bad ass that simply strumming it can level an entire city with its pure awesomeness.












            But then we wouldn't have any more blog readers... or any other great blogs to read.
            Never mind then.
            I guess maybe, like usual, we can just continue to write novels, mess around with MSPaint, and drink a lot of beer. Yeah, that sounds like a good celebration.

Cheers!
-B&B

Mood: Accomplished
Beer: Zywiec (no, my keyboard didn't just shit consonants, it's a Polish beer and it's good)
Music: The Rolling Stones (rock of choice for badassery the world 'round)

78 comments:

  1. I guess Google glossed over the part where you implied they were thieving whores.

    Actually that might have been me.

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  2. "Man, I used to like those guys before they sold out."--Indie Blog Reader.
    Congratulations on being featured. You gentlemen certainly deserve it. If for not other reason than the picture of Bryan passed out and drooling.

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  3. It has always been a blog of note my friends, party like it's 1984.

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  4. Congrats on getting BON'd! You guys are flat out awesome and you know I love ya...it is much deserved...well as much as a randomly given out award can be. :) I'd rather see the award go to you than the kitten calendar blog it went to a couple weeks ago! hehe.

    Great job guys! Glad you didn't go on crazy benders and get yourself dead...what would we do without you?

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  5. What an honor. Congratulations. Great!
    Darn those paparazzi. And that hulk-green picture?Did he taste Wasabi?

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  6. Better leave my comment now before it gets lost in the rush.
    Said my congrats already, now I wonder what I can get for a ms paint kangaroo pic....bugger you guys didnt sign it..
    Joking, I would never sell my little bit of Beer treasure made before the world realised how awesome you guys are

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  7. Congratulations, fellows. Now we can all say that we knew you before you got big and stopped returning calls and started destroying lives (and cities, apparently.)

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  8. I can't think of any two people more worthy of being BON'd!! That's sounds sexy doesn't it?! You guys certainly deserve this and while you gain hundreds and hundreds of followers, I know you won't change much and still will be down to earth and funny as all hell. I'm proud to have been a follower long before the BON action. You guys are the greatest. Hugs to you both and much congratulations are in order!!!!

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  9. Congratulations. I just started reading your blog and what you guys had to say grabbed my interest right away. Keep writing and stay yourselves.

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  10. Awesome post - worthy of a BON recipient. Welcome to the club! As we all know the BON qualifications appear to be completely random.

    So now the club includes your blog, my blog, and a bunch of people blogging about the sweaters they make for their cats.

    SD
    TheSimpleDude.com

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  11. Congrats guys! You're almost at 800 followers! Whoo hoo!

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  12. Congrats on your BON! Unfortunate that a few cities had to be destroyed, but, that's the price for fame around here anymore...

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  13. bon'd...


    totally deserving and awestruck!

    too cool guys...

    i got nothing else..

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  14. Fame has changed you both, dudes.

    I remember how you were before, but climbing that blogging ladder... Don't you care about the little people you had to step on on the way up?

    Ah well. You know what theyh say: Mo' page views, mo' problems.

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  15. You guys easily deserved that blog of note space, and the fame it came with, but you need to be a bit more careful about the drugs you use to celebrate. Though that is a cool guitar.

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  16. You destroyed the world with your music!!
    hell yeah! lol.

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  17. I guess I wasn't cool enough to discover you when you weren't famous. Hopping on the Blog of Note band wagon it is.

    Great blog guys, keep it up.

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  18. look atchu guys getting all famous and stuff! watch out for those paparazzi. they're ruthless!

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  19. OH MY GAWD. YOU GOT ON BLOG OF NOTE?!!! *squeals**

    Yes, I'm shocked, because this means Google ACTUALLY has taste.

    Congrats, boys.

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  20. Congrats guys, lets hope it turns into lots of good adwords reve..... Oh wait never mind.
    Congrats anyway

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  21. It's been my favorite blog for a while, deserved the honors 100%.

    Pssst, yes you, Bryan...be kind and share the recipe for your glass+cleaner+acid special. I got everything here but i dont know how much of each i should use.

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  22. All I could think about while reading this post was my dad. I'm sure your thinking " does your dad shoot himself up with crazy drugs, sleep around like Paris Hilton, or distroy the world with rockstar like guitars? Umm... I could only wish he was that cool. I'm thinking of him cause at his wedding (to his current wife) while we were all doing shots and/or getting drunk off beer, he was walking around with strawberry daquiris. I'm sure your probably wondering where he would get bottles of strawberry daquris at during a wedding reception.. Well he brought a cooler full of course. So while he is paying for an open bar for drunksters like my brother and myself so we can later get so drunk that we puke in our hair. He is daintily drinking daquiris with his pinky pointing out. Well maybe I'm embellishing a tad, but it did look super lame.

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  24. Following and congrats. Just don't party with Lohan now that you're famous, probation would end beers in the shower.

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  25. Hey, you guys friggin' deserve it! Keep rockin', dudes.

    As is, BWABWABWA did the Googles know 'bout your wonderful posts about your not-so-wonderful neighbors? 'Cuz maaan, the picture of said neighbor bending over in a pair of short-shorts would turn any straight-laced clean-cut executive type completely on.

    All I ever see are Log Cabin Republicans. D:

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  26. Awesome! I've been looking at recent BON's, and you're the first one with taste in a long time.

    Grats. Don't forget about us little people on your way to the top.

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  27. you should of made those music notes look like dragons that shot lasers out of ther eyes and pooped out tsunami's. yeah that would be metal.

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  28. Totally deserved and this post was just plain brilliant. The bouncer was kinda scary and Bryan's guitar was...well that kind of destruction via music just brings a tear to my eye. Well done, gentlemen, very well done.

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  29. LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!!! I'M FOLLOWING ASAP! Do me a solid and check my blog out and tell me what you think. I have some rants as well as some stuff about local San Diego thingamajigs. www.thepenguingazette.blogspot.com

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  30. I wish I could have understood more of that, but my comprehension ks still in the devolopment phase, the pictures I understood.

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  31. Wooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

    FIREBIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Congratulations!!!!!

    ~shoes~

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  32. This is the first time that I've actually seen a really good blog get the "Blog of Note" honor. I always thought it was like the Hollywood Walk of Fame in that you had to buy your star. Anyway, congrats! That's cool.

    Also, I understand your plight dealing with fans and the paparazzi and all. What with my being a world famous internet radio start and all. Sometimes the glare of the spotlight is almost too much.

    Jay

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  33. Blog of note! WHOOOOOO

    Pretty serious business there brub!

    I'm here because my homies are here, and they say you are droll. That is not true, no one says droll. But they do say y'all are funny, and I agree.

    FOLLOWED

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  34. Being famous is tough work!!

    Congrats on being a Blog of Note! That's really amazing! Hopefully you won't forget your fans who were here before you made the big time :)

    Soo... how many theoretical internet dollars do you get when you get BON?

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  35. Excellent! Congrats. The link to this post actually said "bond" as opposed to "bon'd," so 007 is probably appropriate ;)

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  36. You guys have a shit load of comments so I'll keep it short.
    Congratufuckinlations! 'Bout time someone deserving got that damn BON.
    Later!

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  37. Way to go, dudes. Now I can say that I correspond with celebrities. My mom will be so proud.

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  38. :) I thought i would say Hi, I was bored and looked through the blogs of note and found yours, and it is bloody funny!! So you have a follower all the way from New Zealand!!! :) Keep it up!

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  39. Hopped here from Boucing Barb's blog. I only read about the two of you and I laughed. Will be a follower!

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  40. Hopefully this newfound fame will not lead to an Amy Winehouse situation. I just don't think I can go through that again.

    Congratulations guys and if it's any consolation I would have let you guys sign my right boob before you were famous.

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  41. Ha ha! Awesome and congrats! You guys are my favorite! :)

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  42. Nice thanks
    More humor in my blog http://blogparapasareltiempo.blogspot.com/

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  43. I stumbled across you guys because you were BON'd. Very entertaining blog, gents. Keep it up!

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  44. Kudos on the Blog of Note!! I found you through it and think that you two are doing an amazing job!! Thank you both for sharing with us!!

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  45. B-B-BONUS! If you really want to be a rockstar, it's all about eating 7 grams of mushrooms and playing minigolf.

    Do it. Just... Just do it.

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  46. congrats on getting all the hits and followers!
    that's some good comic work too btw!

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  47. Super blog and nice writings

    Thanks for all posts

    Thanks in advance for coming posts...

    Keep writing...............

    By

    Biz and Legis
    Online Legal Service providers with Virtual Legal Service and Legal Process Outsourcing Congratulations for getting selected in Blog of notes. This one is most eligible .

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  48. Congrats! You guys should talk to someone about doing a blog workshop at the writing conference. That would be interesting.

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  49. Kudos on being a blog of note. GOOGLE rocks.
    Cool - Nice site
    You can follow me back here.
    http://ismanthyhere.blogspot.com/

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  50. Not a big surprise considering how hilarious your illustrations are. :P

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  51. Oh no this is a disaster, next thing you will be playing bigger venues not replying to your mail and taking longer before releases as you do “Quality checks”....

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  52. BON finally got one right. Usually it's just crappy shiz about people who do weird things with wall paper.

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  53. I think we've all had those fantasies of grandeur (it's a nice, warm place to visit). I especially like the burning guitar licks. Agreed, the Rolling Stones are the most bad ass of bad ass bands -ever.

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  54. you're one of the few blogs deserving of the recognition which, btw, is possibly the only way I ever would have found you :0 Good stuff & thx for visiting my blog as well. Sounds like you shd be able to afford real internet now but, why pay if you can borrow?

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  55. Its the first time that I've actually followed a Blog BEFORE they become a Blog of Note. This is awesome news. Congrats! Well deserved.

    Enjoy all the new followers and comments, dudes.

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  56. Cool blog!

    Please follow: http://pristed.blogspot.com/

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  57. Success, eh. What a wonderful thing. I'm beginning to think I'm pretty good at getting into things before they are mainstream now.

    Still, I can see it's attracting a fair amount of mindless 'great post!' style comments. The true curse of fame.

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  58. Congrats on being BON'd. Isn't that every little girl's dream? I found you through Jewels. I like your style. I will definitely be back for some more right after I get rid of these e-herpes. And after I just cured my e-polio.

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  59. whoop! Whoop! congrats boys :)

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  60. hi :) ,your blog and pictures are so beautiful
    i hope you can visit me at:http://photostricks.blogspot.com

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  61. Congrats, you deserve it! :D
    Wish I could play the guitar like that

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  62. Nice one! this is the first I've seen of this and as I expected from the name it's fantastic :) as I said I'm new to this so I'd appreciate it if someone took a look at my blog http://themundanemadcap.blogspot.com/

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  63. I like the wine coolers, they look refreshing. Bartles & James.....a classic.

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  64. I stumbled upon this blog because Google said it was a must read. Google knows everything so they MUST be right. I dig it. I am adding you to my blogroll. Cheers!

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  65. Congrats on being BON'd by Google! I hope they were gentle...

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  66. hahaha. funny stuff.

    http://2stupid2live.blogspot.com/

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  67. Late to the party am I...deep rabbit hole took a while to crawled out of...but just for you two dudes I went the extra mile...just to say "HEY! WHAT JUST HAPPENED!"
    YOU GOT WHAT!!! BON'D - man, disappear down a rabbit hole for a week and all hell breaks loose in the Blogoshere!

    So...CONGRATS - IN FACT DOUBLE CONGRATS, since there's two of you - double trouble!

    Happy times - eat, drink and be merry!

    Cheers, Jenny

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  69. I think my computer just got herpes from the walking penis ... should I tell google before they BoN me? Nah

    - Ashley

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