Monday, August 29, 2011

De-Pantsing with the Stars

            Being writers, Bryan and I are suckers for a good story character. When we aren’t slapping together ghetto cartoons here in the low-income projects of Bloggerville, haranguing flaky literary agents, or (gods forbid) actually writing fiction, we spend a lot of time reading and watching movies. There’s no better way to find an idea to rip off new sources of inspiration than to see what’s already been done. For example, I know that if it wasn’t for his addiction to Nicholas Sparks novels, the characters in Bryan’s fiction wouldn’t be half as manly as they are today.
              So, who are our favorite film and/or novel characters? That was the question I asked myself when I sat down to write this post. And honestly, given our usual jibber-jabber, I don’t think you’ll be surprised at the answers.
            First, I’ve always been a big fan of Indiana Jones. If only for the fact that he is the only bare-chested man alive who can walk around the 1940’s wearing a purse and a leather whip and somehow seem to catch shit only from the Nazis.


            Second is Dirty Harry Callahan, who just goes to show that Clint Eastwood is so badass that he can even make being a pervert look cool.


            And, finally, let’s not forget Harry Potter…aka The Boy Who Inspired a Generation of Crappy Unpublished First Novels. And, yes, that includes the literary diarrhea that was my own first novel attempt.


           As for me, I'd say Jason Statham. Now, I know what you're saying, Jason Statham isn't a movie character, but let's be real here, isn't Jason Statham just the same character over and over again in every movie he's ever made? And before you think I'm judging him, just remember that I still watch 'em all, so what does that say about me?
           Personally, I just want to look bad ass with a shaved head, stubble, and a classy suit, aka the Transporter. While it's true my head isn't shaped for a shaved head, and I'm not physically capable of growing stubble, I do have a nice suit, and I do drive a black Audi like Statham did in the Transporter. And let me tell you, when it's actually running, it's a great getaway car. Just don't be surprised if we have to be towed away from the bank heist.


            And that's only the beginning. When the suit comes off, beneath is a hard, ripped physique that's ready for a 15 minute kung fu fight.


             And if I can't be Statham, maybe I can be the greatest movie badass of all time: Bruce Campbell from Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, and Army of Darkness. Snappy one-liners and a chainsaw for a hand. What more could a man want? Oh, I know. Lots of stitches for the mayhem that will no doubt ensue from having a very dangerous weapon as a hand (I'm looking at you, too, Edward Scissorhands).


          What movie characters inspire you?

Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Brandon and Bryan

Mood: Amped
Beer: Sasquatch Stout/Newcastle
Music: Foo Fighters

65 comments:

  1. there is a word "logorrhea", by the way, but it means something different from what you probably intended. it means prolixity.

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  2. Ahaha, I love that Harry Potter is an inspiration to you! I agree, I also withered around in my teen years, trying to write a fantasy story-like thing, but then I realised that I like robot poetry more.

    I haven't watched Jason Statham in anything other than Lock, Stock & 2 Smoking Barrels, and Snatch. I really liked him in those movies. I will take your word for it and try and check out some of his other stuff.

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  3. I think as long as you don't have a weapon on both hands like Edward Scissorhands, you should be okay. Just don't get your hands mixed up. I'm going to go for the obvious, pretentious, hipster answer, and say Tyler Durden from Fight Club. I'd go into why but again that would be a stupid thing to do. To be honest I've never really felt inspired by a movie star. At least I don't think I have. Other than perhaps Lord Dark Helmet from Spaceballs.

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  4. For me, it would have to be Scott Adkins in his movie "Undisputed 3" and Nicholas Cage in his "National Treasure" series.

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  5. I am a fan of James Bond. Think about the first time that you watched a Bond film in your teen years. You saw a suave guy who always gets the girl, has the coolest tech and guns, and shoots bad guys in the face while wearing an expensive suit. Bad ass.

    I hate to say it because he is batshit crazy, but many of Robin Williams characters are pretty inspirational. The teacher in "The Dead Poets society," "Patch Adams," the shrink from "Good Will Hunting," and the announcer in "Good Morning Vietnam" are all free thinking characters who go against convention to bring some good to other people.

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  6. Mark beat me to it, I was going to say Tyler Durden.
    Wish I had those kind of balls.

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  7. You make a pretty awesome Bruce Campbell! I would want you on my survival team if you had yourself a chainsaw hand like that. lol.

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  8. JS is awesome..

    excellent characters all. love the caption for your dirty harry too..

    and mom always said don't play with that chainsaw in the house...

    it is ALL fun and games till someone loses their penis...

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  9. Yeah, I'd like to think I'd make a good Constantine...love that movie! (& yes, I know I'm a girl and he's not, but still....)

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  10. You're right, Statham is a character unto himself. He has it written into his life contract that his shirt must come off every 10 minutes.

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  11. Jason Statham, did you see him in Blitz? yesh, very good! He is holding up the torch for all bolding men (me being a girl I just want to wash my laundry on his six pack).

    At the moment my inspiration comes from Douglas Adams (his writing style is superb - not that I know much) and the TV Show "Doctor Who". Long time favourite actor is Christoper Walken...swoon!

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  12. I used to be such a big fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger. And yeah Eric Campell. I used to fight with my hubby alltime for this guy and Alec Baldwin. I always thought they were damn good-looking, atleast during my schooldays.And I am more into directors anyway. Spielberg, Cameron, Christopher Nolan, Kubrick and lately Aaron Sorkin.

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  13. I was going to be honest and say Edward Norton in American History X, but not wanting to out myself as a racist, I'll go with John Wayne (he's more subtle racist). [the previous was sarcasm, Internet]
    As a raging alcoholic, I am inspired by the original Arthur, not so much the remake.

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  14. Bruce Campbell - pure comedy brilliance.

    I'm trying to think of my favourite characters now. Ripley from Alien and Aliens (and Hudson and Hicks) Actually I have so many I can't list them all.

    Harry Potter is definitely up there though.

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  15. Liam Neeson was pretty badass in Taken. However made-up it was, it was still inspirational to see what his character went through to get his daughter back.

    If I ever lose my identity and find myself at the forefront of a most wanted list for an elite government agency, I'd have to call upon Jason Bourne for inspiration. Channeling his resilient strength and lethal fighting skills is a completely different story, however.

    A more sentimental inspiration? Forrest Gump! Why not? The dude went through a ton of stuff and managed to make it through with a pretty damn good attitude despite what seemed to be insurmountable odds. How did he do this? Well, he was always prepared because he knew, "Life was like a box a chocolate. You never know what you're gonna get." Gump just rolled with the punches no matter how hard they landed.

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  16. Ripped body + shaved head + stubble = Every woman's dream!! (Well, mine anyway).

    Your cartoon's are starting to look a teeny weeny bit sexy to me today! Hmmmm..... must be the stubble.

    Note to self... must get out more!

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  17. Daniel Craig's James Bond. Screw the gadgets, he's just a badass.

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  18. Enid from Ghost World was my hero back in high-school. I felt validated by her because we dressed similarly and had the same fears and boredom.

    By the way, I posted some new hip-hop on my blog today, a rap I did with a friend over that Kreayshawn beat. Check it out, I think you'll like it! http://thetsaritsasez.com/2011/08/one-thick-crew-full-of-bad-bitches-new.html

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  19. 1 name 1,000,000,000 parts greatness....Ferris Bueller! That's right....TAKE IT ALL BITCH! Too bad he's a bit on the chi-mo looking side now. Seriously, he looks pretty creepy these days. P.S. I posted pics from the art show so you can get an idea of how to bring your "MS-paint-erpieces" to San Diego next year! Check em' out http://thepenguingazette.blogspot.com/2011/08/art-in-yard-3part-2the-sequel.html

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  20. I love the Jason Statham movies like crank, transporter, mechanic etc. all good imo! i also like quite a few of the nicholas cage movies: face off, lord of war

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  21. As an isolate, Bruce Willis in Die Hard. He was all over the place since that movie ( to include the sequels) but as a one shot deal, truly fucking cool.

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  22. Jason Statham is a total badass (a super hot one). Mostly cause he just rips people apart in his movies. For a film class I took my freshman year I wrote about Clint Eastwood.Gran Torino? Awesome! He's still a badass and hes super old!

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  23. I'd have to say I was inspired by Roger from the 70's show "What's Happening" smart, tall and skinny, w/ a take down intellect. THAT'S Whats Happening!

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  24. HA! Ferris Bueller! He's fantastic!

    Although I love me some Bart from Blazing Saddles.

    And let is not forget the ever-charming optimism of Joe Dirt :)

    (Awww, I totally love cheesy comedies...can ya tell?)

    :)
    Jen

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  25. James Bond. ;)

    http://mis2pesos.blogspot.com/
    http://twitter.com/#!/My2pesos

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  26. Ugh to Harry potter and Jason. Yeah for evil dead.

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  27. Steven Seagal in Marked for Death, it doesn't get tougher than that.
    He is so badass he even trains MMA fighter Lyoto Machida.

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  28. i like the boondock saints guys! or ill neo it up!

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  29. Strangely enough, it's not inexactly movies that have inspired my violence-laden and oh-so-technical written offerings (and lyrics) but, rather, vidyuh gaems.

    ESPECIALLY the King of Fighters series.

    Born in the 80's like I have, I've seen a lot growin' up, y'knowwhatImean? And video games have come a loooong way in terms of graphics...all the while the stories have stagnated. I mean, they're not ALL bad, but they certainly nowhere near as awesome as they used to be. Hell, it's even been noted that the Japanese market has been stagnating like mad, becoming stuck in this weird cycle of "traditional business is best business" when once they would've invested in long shots and high risks.

    So yeah, video games from the '80's and '90's, when story was king and narrative meant something.

    In b4 nostalgia goggles commentary, stfu I'm spittin' truth here and people in their late twenties and on know what I'm talkin' 'bout.

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  30. Mel Gibson in Braveheart...best movie ever! Now that movie is inspiring! And the Patriot as well!
    2 kickass movies that happen(by coincidence?)to star Mel Gibson.

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  31. talking about badasses and no mention of Die hard, yippiekiaaaay motherfuckers

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  32. Whatever Indiana Jones does is cool, for the mere fact that Indy did it. He even makes getting his ass kicked look cool.

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  33. Personally I only watch movies staring actors that make me feel way better Bout who I am..... That's why I am a huge fan of Pauly Shore, Corey Feldman, Gary Buscey, and Eddie Murphys "family films".

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  34. I'm inspired by Buffalo Bill from "Silence of the Lambs!" :)

    "Would you f*&^ me? I'd f*&^ me so hard."

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  35. Miss Piggy in everything. That's who! Love the Bruce Campbell reference. :)

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  36. Jar Jar Binks, without a doubt.


    *snickers*

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  37. Ryan Reynolds...Blade III he is ripped beyond belief and sarcastic. I could easily have a bromance with him.

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  38. along with Bruce Campbell i would also add 'Lionel' the character from 'braindead'...he was a nerd of course, but when the time came he got that lawnmower and showed'em! cheers!

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  39. I have a bottle opener as a finger. Comes in real handy.

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  40. My all time favourite would have to be Conan with Arnold Schwarzenegger. So much cheese, so much bicep, so much gratuitous nudity.

    Oh wow, that seems to be the premise of the new Conan :)

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  41. Wtf happened here ?

    I go away for a week and when I get back you guys are fucking superstars with 457045 followers and 582042 comments per post.

    Well almost.
    I had to scroll so far down each page it felt like that.
    Guess BON really does have a purpose after all.
    Anyway just had a catch up read - nearly peed my pants a few times.

    Just don't go changing and getting all pretentious or sell out and start a fashion/jesus blog now you hit the big time.

    ps. This might change YOUR life.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSK1D3bZhRs

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  42. Reading your post happened to make my day!!

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  43. What movie characters inspire me? Probably ones wearing superhero tights.

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  44. Definitely an Indiana fan. Not a fan of trying to turn Shia La-what's his face into the new Indy, though. Especially when he swings through vines like a chimp. Booooo.

    Loved the Jason Statham pictures. Hilarious!

    ~Angela
    grahamandangela.blogspot.com

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  45. Every time I see Jason Stathom in a movie I just think "I could pummel this guy into a steaming heap of sludge, why is it that guys who spend more time on a gazelle than they do in a weight room are portrayed as these badasses? What the fuck happened to Arnold for crying out loud?!"

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  46. I always liked Totoro from the movie "Totoro" because he gets to be fat and sit in trees all day. Also, Pan's Labrynth.

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  47. Bruce Lee. Not fictional character of course and while I really enjoy the movies he ACTUALLY starred in...

    I still find Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story very inspiring. Can't call it the most accurate "biography" but the struggles portrayed and general bad-assness (?) are great.

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  48. Ip Man is a good example even if the movies probably exaggerate certain events.

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  49. I would have to say Tommy Lee Jones. He killed in every role he ever played. Also Clint Eastwood in Gran Turino.

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  50. Why does everyone want to be Indiana Jones or a James Bond or even a Jason Statham? What's wrong with the Andy Dufresnes, the Chris Gardners and heck, even The Dude? Why do only badasses get the girls :( ?

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  51. I must agree with a comment on top of me. Definitly James Bond. Pierce Brosman, not Daniel Craig.

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  52. this was a good read, i wish you had picked rocky, rambo and forrest gump too :) forrest coz i like him so much :D

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  53. okay, so i was reading this post, and then i got to the Jason Statham part. OMG JASON STATHAM!! ( i think i'm in love with him). He inspires me too, especially in the transporter...sometimes when i drive, i pretend i am the transporter!

    - Juliet x

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  54. What about Bill Murray? Ghostbusters is the best movie ever and Bill Murray is the ultimate action hero.

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  55. I've always been inspired by insane characters like Patrick Bateman from American psycho and Charlie Bronson from Bronson. Dunno why. I'll probably go bonkers some day.

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  56. i heard theyre going to start filming ghostbusters 3

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  57. or how about Brandon lee in Rapid fire..and The Crow

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  58. for me it has to be Toto in the Wisard of Ox. The movie would have been shite without him.

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  59. I was just watching Revolver with Stathom, and his existence IS a character.

    And Bart better not be lying.

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  60. Great post. I'd say James Franco for me.

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  61. loool! you're right about the "saw hand".. it's cool until u need to itch the junk in your trunk! :p

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  62. You've perfectly captured Mr Statham's potato features. Bravo! As I writer, I'm inspired by god. Oh wait, no, that's just a coffee stain on the wall. Hmmm.

    I can't get enough of the Evil Dead series, although my friends screw up their faces whenever I mention it. There isn't enough love for b-movie horrors in my little circle.

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  63. I think half of the Jason Statham kind of charm is the gruff british accent. Watch some BBC shows while chain smoking cigarettes, then kick yourself in the throat before going to the bar. Guarantee you'll pick up some dimes. Once you've drawn them in with your moody scowl (residual larynx pain) covertly insult them while staring at their forehead. Bitches love indifference.

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