Monday, July 4, 2011

The Neighbor Child Wears Booty Shorts

          As it's the 4th of July, I've already started my morning with some drinking and some explosions, which is much needed after more dealings with the neighbors. If you're new to the blog, they're crazy. Really crazy.
          For example, they think we're running a meth lab (because my wife is Mexican), they hate our guts, and they give us this terrible, fake, cheesy smile every time we see them.


          Now that summer has hit, even more craziness has developed. In particular, their 11 or 12 year old daughter, who has been sporting the shortest shorts I've ever seen.
          Let me start by saying I'm not some conservative fuddy duddy. I'm a red blooded American male in my mid 20's and I can appreciate a good pair of booty shorts. I also know that young girls wear short shorts, which is fine. What I can't appreciate is seeing a 12 year old's vagina.
          Seriously, these are the shortest shorts I've ever seen, and if that wasn't bad enough, EVERY SINGLE TIME I see this girl she's bending over to work on her mother's garden or to pick something up, and each time I see ass cheeks and underwear. It's creepy. It's unsettling. And I've seen it at least 5 times in the last week. At this point it's just gotten awkward.





 

 




So what do you guys think? Would you let your daughter wear shorts like this if she wanted to?

-Bryan

Mood: Queasy
Beer: Avalanche
Shower: Cannot wash my eyes hard enough
 



57 comments:

  1. i predict a lack of sympathy evinced by the blogosphere on this one.

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  2. Heh. I chuckled quite a bit at the comics. You should go ask that neighbor girl if she;s DTF. If she says yes, then that would explain everything.

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  3. Haha, funny post. Not a chance in hell would I let my 12 year old wear shorts like that though.

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  4. So. Wrong.

    My Cinderella has always been prone to the short sporty shorts. I am forever telling her they are too short, but her ass and lady bits are not in danger of seeing the light of day. Jeezus. Who does that?

    Do they leave her bedroom window unlocked too? I'd hate for the sicko pervs to have to work to hrd at snatching her ass. You get a lot of nondescript vans cruising your neighborhood?

    I'm sorry you're having to witness all that. Its bad for the brain. Of course, you've really brought this on yourself; white folks don't marry the brown peoples unless they are up to no good. Tsk tsk.

    Happy 4th...try not to do anything that has you pulling back a nub.

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  5. Yeah. I like tits and ass too. But there is no way in hell I want to be confused like that. NO. When I run the world, all children under the age of 18 will be required to be locked up inside until the occasion of their 18th birthday. Then when your ass is hanging out of your shorts, I don't have to feel like a pedophile with my hand down my pants.

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  6. If she isn't raped before 14 that will be a miracle. However by 15 she'll be pregnant. I dressed pretty wild when I was 16 and 17 but that was in the 70's and there wasn't as much heard about rape and such. This girl is asking for trouble but her parents are to blame. She's a prime target for sex offenders. Have you checked out your area for any?

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  7. there certainly is a time and place for vagina. Happy Fourth!

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  8. OMG! I didn't let my girls wear those kind of shorts at that age, but I was lucky, my girls are way body conscious and don't even do that now when they're not jailbait.

    But that dad on the other hand.....needs waxing!

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  9. Whoa. That's seriously wrong. I blame those freaking Bratz dolls etc. Why are these kids in such a rush to grow up and where are the bloody parents?

    And is that a tramp stamp I spy on the father?

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  10. Thank goodness my daughter was and still is very modest. I think it is sad that this little girl's parents let her dress like a slut at such a young age. Being 12 is tough enough. Unfortunately, many of us have had neighbors just like them.

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  11. Ha Ha Very funny post!

    She will be pregnant by 13, married at 14 and 5 kids and devorced all by the time she is 21!

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  12. Once upon a time in another life with another wife, we lived in a very fuddy-duddy-filled neighborhood here in town. Most of the residents were in their mid-seventies, and all seemed Church Lady prim and proper. Except for our neighbor, the single mom and her two daughters, aged 16 and 17. Those two were genuine jail bait. It seemed like whenever I was out mowing or working in our garden, one or both of them would decide to come out to get some sun the backyard of their house adjacent to ours. They wore the skimpiest, most unbelievably transparent even-when-dry bikinis, and did a lot of lounging around on their bellies with their tops undone. Every need to grab a drink or swat a bug was a full frontal show... and I have to admit, I almost hurt myself trying to avoid stares their direction.
    Their mom was a hottie, too, which might have explained some kind of one-upmanship going on with all the dueling ovaries, but GOD! it was hard to have nubile young breasts and booties in your face every day of the summer and NOT want to find a telephoto lens and a tube of lotion...
    Twelve, though? eh, you might wanna draw a line at pre-teen, guy... As Mrs. Pendrake said in "Little Big Man", "I shall avert my eyes at the proper moment."
    do some serious avertin'...

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  13. 11 year olds in booty shorts... can anyone else hear the banjo music?

    He just loves his daughter, that's all. Really... REALLY loves her.

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  14. Hahaha. Best MS paint creations so far. You are pretty good at doing ass-cheeks. And I know that plastic grin neighbour smile all too well.

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  15. Nice post and awesome pictures.
    Have a nice independence day!
    +Follow

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  16. I'm Muslim so if my ankle is showing, all hell breaks loose.
    Exaggerating.
    They just tell me to wear my socks higher...

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  17. But it's cool if I force my son to wear those shorts, right? How else is he going to earn?

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  18. I think that's just sick. I have a soon-to-be-11-year-old sister and she's still wearing Hello Kitty, and I am just fine with that.

    Sexualization of girls is a big no-no as far as I'm concerned. It's like live kid porn.

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  19. I gave up when I heard companies were selling thongs to eight year olds.

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  20. The hair on the guys ass and legs was a nice disgusting touch. lol.

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  21. i would think that this girl would be a little more modest... i wouldent even let myself wear shorts that short... i wonder if your neighbors read your blog.... hmm

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  22. I wouldn't even let a daughter of mine put shorts like that on her dolls...

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  23. *Insert pedophilic comment about being completely ok with this.*

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  24. Awww, honey, I'm guessing the sight of her...succulent ass cheeks aren't helping the inner pedophile everybody's got in them. ):

    My mom would deport me to Saudi Arabia if I wore anything like that. However, I must admit that I often wear miniskirts and prance around older dudes to see if I can get a reaction. (I like attention. Shut up.)

    So I can totally understand if she's wearing mini shorts on purpose - maybe she wants a reaction from you. You're 27 or something?

    You're still young, my friend. Kind of.

    Be on your guard though. She might start coming round to your house, giving you a batch of cookies or asking if you have any "chores" she could do.

    In the meantime, enjoy the blossoms of pre-pubescent female. ;)

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  25. I am against children in booty shorts. I am also against children in shorts with words written across the butt.

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  26. Jesus Christ, dude, I've said it before, and I will keep saying it: time to move.

    There is WAY too much danger of puking and/or going to jail.

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  27. Again one hell of a comic!
    really great.
    keep it up. +1

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  28. Um, no way.

    And, how's the Homeless Transvestite thing going? Guess what... I know one. It's really quite interesting.

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  29. Damn. So I take it you live next to Jessee Slaughter?

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  30. HAHA

    Thanks for the follow...having seen this am defo returning the compliment.

    And yeah, there is definately something wrong with that family, kids should be kids... what is up with the world when you can buy padded bras for 9yr olds ? And you gotta blame the parents 'cos who buys a 12 yr olds clothes.

    I'll be back to read more later :)

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  31. I thought I had a problem. This my neighbor:

    http://www.google.nl/imgres?imgurl=http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/CollegePics/christina_milian_camel-toe.jpg&imgrefurl=http://forum.santabanta.com/showthread.htm%3Ft%3D136761&usg=__FMiZ-IjdJsYrC_QZFtLD9ia9MyI=&h=574&w=500&sz=70&hl=nl&start=0&sig2=y6mE2AKJok5b1-H58GL-Ig&zoom=1&tbnid=f3fRPeZvTxUGMM:&tbnh=137&tbnw=119&ei=nl0TTu3gAciZOqHEuaoL&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dchristina%2Bmilian%2Bcamel%2Btoe%26um%3D1%26hl%3Dnl%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1034%26bih%3D737%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=139&vpy=69&dur=2620&hovh=241&hovw=209&tx=127&ty=145&page=1&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&biw=1034&bih=737

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  32. Whether I would allow my daughter to wear shorts or not, I wouldnt want you as my neighbour!?! ;-)
    I agree with you, when we go to playground all these preteens I dont know what is wrong with them , recession hit cloth industry too? How short do you need wear your shorts? Sexy and all those works if are some 18 or 19 where guys can count their stars and have a nice night with their hand :)
    But 12 and 13 are too much or should I say too short?

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  33. My niece wears stuff not even close to as bad as you are describing, and it freaks me out. Do parents really want their kids being sluts?

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  34. this is nasty on so many levels...and I kind of want to Ajax my brain so I can only imagine how you feel! Ick!

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  35. Let me put it this way my good fellows..I have 4 daughters. #1, i buy the clothes, they wear them.. end of discussion. #2 If (and they knew better than to try) they ever some sashaying in my house in booty shorts, i have a dishtowel
    l, that can strike faster than a bull whip..Answer your question?

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  36. LMBO! her parents shldnt let her wear that. hilarious pics!

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  37. Haha that's hilarious! alphabetalife.blogspot.com

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  38. Haha, brilliant! Your sense of humour really hits the spot.

    http://hairypalmer.blogspot.com/

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  39. lmfao best comics to date i'd have to say. *ralppphhhh* crashing my buddies wedding on the 16th. some bitch was all like "u cant wear white!?" and i was like its cream....

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  40. No fucking way I would let my kid dress like that.

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  41. That's just disturbing! I love it.

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  42. Ha, I love how your images say all that needs to be said. Nice reaction drawn in the last cell

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  43. Some people have to wear shorts like that for medical reasons.

    Based on the pictures, for example, I'd say that your nneighbor girl has some problems with her teeth. And her eyes. The shorts might be medically necessary to correct those problems.

    I'm just guessing.

    I'm an optimist.

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  44. And you know what's even worse is that at 12 years old a lot of girls are starting to look more like women. Which is terrifying because you're like, "Hey, look ass OH FUCK SHE'S 12."
    Not that I'm checking out 12 year old girls. Just saying.

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  45. gross...funny as hell....but gross

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  46. VOM. I'm sure she shops at Abercrombie for those oh-so adorable "I taste like candy" underwear they sell in the kids section.

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  47. My daughter would be confined to her room for a month for wearing something like you describe. That being said, I just read the sex offender post, maybe you should put a copy of that on the window of your neighbor's wannabe Shelby? Might get his attention enough to 1) stop the engine revving for the morning and 2) get his daughter to dress like she's 12 instead of 21

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  48. While i wouldn't let my daughter wear shorts like those,i also wouldn't be blogging about my next door neighbors..period.is it really such a big deal that you feel the need to shove this info about your neighbors on to the internet?do you also realise that if they discover you're doing so,that they can literally sue you in a court of law? it would be quite easily done,as you've described the girl in enough detail by just discussing her shorts and age.i would suggest in the future,you not blog about neighbors or others that can prove who'm it is that you're blogging about./also it sounds to me as though you best keep your eyes in your head and not be so concerned about what she does or doesn't wear/.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Dennis, and thanks for searching "12 year old in booty shorts" to get here! We all know what YOU were looking for.

      So I'm not sure if you're familiar with blogging, but I can actually talk about whatever and whomever I want, and since no names are listed, no one can "literally" sue me. Also, you should probably work on your use of the word "literally," which is embarrassingly incorrect.

      So thanks for the lame "suggestion", but I "suggest" you learn what blogging is and how the legal system works. The real world is probably going to be really difficult for you if you can't understand basic concepts such as these.

      Delete
  49. People should be allowed to wear what they want. As you said, it's summertime. It's hot out. And because of that, it's acceptable to dress in a skimpy way. Shorts have more coverage then a swimsuit, and yet you have this huge issue with her wearing short shorts. Perhaps you should focus on your own family, instead of sexualizing the body of an 12-year-old. (Even if your not sexually attracted to her, your issue with the booty shorts is that you see partially-nude bodies as sexual.) Bodies are bodies, it's society that makes it sexual. I'm also particularly irritated by the comments section-- people suggesting that she'll be pregnant at an early age because of the way she dresses. The way she dresses is no indication of her promiscuity, and even if she does become sexually active at an early age, it's none of your concern.

    And those of you saying that she'll be raped-- rapists will rape regardless of how dressed or undressed a person is. And even if she is raped in those booty shorts, it is in no way her fault, and she does not deserve it, as some of the other commenters are implying.

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    Replies
    1. If you think it's acceptable for a 12 year old to wear shorts that show her ass cheeks, then please, I'm begging you - don't breed. Ever. Humanity will thank you.

      I don't want to go outside and see a 12 year old's ass. That's nothing sexual. That's just something I don't want to see. You're really telling me you're okay with seeing a 12 year old's bare ass?

      By your idiotic logic, let me just come over to your house some time and slap my dick against your window. Remember - it's not sexual, you're just sexualizing it because my pants are down. My body is just my body, and that just so happens to be how I knock on windows. I call it the CockKnocker. Open up, Mimi, I just want to say hello!

      Delete
    2. Actually, it is different, because you would be exposing yourself to me with the intention of harassment. She's wearing short shorts because it's hot out. She's a little kid.

      Delete
    3. You are 100% right. She's a little kid. Which means she should NOT be wearing shorts like this:

      Ultra short shorts

      Please tell me how this helps someone keep "cooler" over a short that actually covers her ass. Also, I hate to break it to you, but when a girl wears shorts like this, she's not doing it to stay cool. She's doing it for attention. Anyone with half a brain can understand that.

      Let me guess, in your mind if a girl does this and shows her ass or vagina to someone, she's just "keeping cool in the heat." But if I wear something like this and my dick falls out, then I'm exposing myself and I'm a sick pervert, right? Wonderful double standard you've got there.

      Also, please stop sexualizing my penis. I was simply using it to make a point.

      (Get it? Point?)

      Delete

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