Friday, July 22, 2011

Dances With Salesmen

After six years of faithful service and constant abuse, my old car is no more. The sounds coming from the engine were beginning to resemble mechanical emphysema, and plenty of other expensive problems were cropping up.
So, I sold the PT Cruiser. Yes, I drove a PT Cruiser. And, yes, I realize that only the geriatric own PT Cruisers. In order to save face with my manhood, I’ll claim that I was under-compensating for the size of my schnitzel. You know, like the needle-dick with the lifted monster truck, but in reverse.
Anyway, the point of this post was to talk about car salesmen, and the entertainment my fiancĂ© and I got during negotiations. It was sort of like being on Deal or No Deal, but Howie was black, and instead of models in bikinis, there were fat guys in bad suits. So, there we were at the Subaru dealership…











I really did get the thing for 6k under sticker price. And the kidney paid for a full tank. Go me.

Cheers,

-brandon

Beer: Stella
Musica: The Smiths

40 comments:

  1. I love subarus! please tell me you got an impreza =D

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  2. woohoo...so what's the size of your car now? lol

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  3. re your comment: haha, that's twice now you've (of course i never know which one of you it is) been interested in a word besides the one i was highlighting. damn! you're right, though; it should be metaphysicist.

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  4. Which Subaru did you get? Anyway 6k off plus a kidney sounds like a great deal :D i guess you could share the address of the dealership hahaha

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  5. Oh I love me a cold Stella. Good luck on your new car. What model did you get? I hate car shopping. With a passion.

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  6. I can't believe what I just read haha, too funny.

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  7. I'd like to put a bid in for the kidney and if you give me a working liver, I'll throw in free car mats.

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  8. The UK version of Deal or No Deal isn't like that...

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  9. mechanical emphysema-----haha plus the pink man nipples

    btw

    I love The Smiths.

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  10. there is a special place reserved in hell for car salesman, I am sure of it.

    Kelly @ My Joy Project
    http://myjoyproject.blogspot.com/

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  11. See, when I deal with salespeople I feel that I'm the one who loses a kidney. Or I start questioning my own intelligence.

    However, yay for a new car. And for Stella...a good brew.

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  12. That's the same line we got when we got our car, last year, "What will it take for you to walk out of here with a new car, today?"

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  13. 6k under? Damn! You should have asked for a lung but hey, that's just me. :)

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  14. I don't see what's wrong with a PT Cruiser... Of course, I used to drive a Neon, so it would have been a step up.

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  15. Your deal or no deal has girls in bikinis? Ours just has a creepy old guy...still, funny as always :D Glad you did end up with a car, and well done on the bargaining! I think you should have kept the kidney though, could have come in handy.

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  16. Haha! I got my subaru for about 5k off the price too! Way to haggle!
    Oh, and aliens have finally returned my post, come over and check it out if you're pining for views of the mountains!

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  17. I despise the bargaining process.

    The van I purchased a month ago is having service issues (already) and it is flipping me out.

    Oh to be a fly on the wall next week when my gianormous tough as shit husbands takes it (back) up there for another service appointment.

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  18. HAH, good bargainin' m'man!

    Admittedly though, I don't quite remember if 6k under the sticker price was THAT good a bargain though...it's been such a long time since I drove a new car.

    Hell, the walkin's good for ya, y'knowwhatImean?

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  19. thats just fucking awsome... pt cruiser, ha,

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  20. you posts and drawings are getting better and better

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  21. We have a Subaru Outback. I call it the limo, hubbies midlife crisis car. Very posh.
    Fab you got a great deal. Just dont spill beer on the upholstery

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  22. I don't think I have to say how much I hate salespeople.

    Now I have to listen to Strangeways, or maybe The Queen Is Dead.

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  23. Should have held out for part of his liver. That thing will grow to just the size one needs it to be....if one were in need of a new liver, I mean.

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  24. Congrats! You drive (no pun intended) a hard bargain. Good job getting the kidney. It was worth the full tank of gas.

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  25. I'm gonna need your help whenever I get a new car, haha.

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  26. You could have got more for the kidney, at least double.

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  27. Go you indeed! And it's good to have that extra kidney, what with the drinking beer in the shower habit...

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  28. Yeah you... I'm thinking about a new car(just dread those payments..ugh) Post some pics of what you got..

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  29. lol i should start my own webcomix

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  30. LOL! Holding out for the kidney is always a good move. I'm weak. I would have given in when he offered me the TV. Assuming it was an HDTV.

    - Jay

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  31. I Drive an FJ Cruiser, yet my invisible dick is much larger than any of my friends real ones.

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  32. congrats, now go run over some pedestrians

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  33. mention that its Howie's kidney and you will get a solid $73.45 for it on the black market. believe me, I've checked...

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  34. Heyyyyyy...You use the same tag line as I do. Cheers!!

    Matt-Man

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  35. Haha... You look like a man who needs his credit check waived, huh?

    When I get pulled over by cops, they promise not to run my name for warrants if I agree to stay out of their jurisdiction.
    Same thing, sorta...

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  36. Ooooh did you mayhaps purchase a WRX? Those are awesome!

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  37. I really hate car shopping. I pulled into a dealership a few days ago to just LOOK at a car, just check it out for 30 seconds. I left my car running, parked in front of the new car, and my feet had barely hit the ground when a sales guy was standing next to me.

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  38. Went to stalk your old car.

    Cute.

    And hell, I REALLY hope you're under-compensating, because your fiance will be looking for a divorce if you aren't.

    (Let's just pretend you two are saints and nobody's seen anybody's dongles.)

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