Well, it’s officially summertime here in the city. Greenhouse gases are helping to broil the blacktop, the alleyways are choked with the smell of slow-roasting garbage, and the fire hydrants of the crappier neighborhoods have temporarily been commandeered to act as the local car wash/swimming pool.
And, yes, this means my neighborhood. Pretty much every day the temperature climbs over ninety, this is what the street corner looks like in front of my building.
A neighborhood fellow with too much time on his hands has a hydrant wrench and custom grinds a “V” shape into the cap to get that fancy arcing waterfall. It’s pointless to call the City of Chicago anymore. They really don’t care. Sometimes the thing gets shut off, sometimes it doesn’t. In the meanwhile, it plays host to dozens of screaming hoodbrats and a never ending loop of cars that are lucky to have stumbled across a free carwash. Occasionally, even the cops do a nice slow drive-through to get a rinse.
Usually about a dozen adults can be found standing around this makeshift fountain for hours on end during the day, which I find sort of funny. Because with a couple towels, sponges, and buckets of soap, they don’t know just how dangerously close they are to gainful employment.
Normally, I really wouldn’t give a damn. At least it gives people something to do in this godforsaken heat. But, I’m tired of living with the equivalent of an urban amusement park right outside my window.
Did I mention I’m moving next week? Thank Jebus.
Music: Rise Against