Monday, June 20, 2011

I Don't Miss Working

          So as my unemployment benefits so kindly reminded me, it's been officially 6 months since I was laid off. And as I reflected over the past half a year, I realized something.
          I don't miss it. Any of it.
          The early mornings. The cramped cubicles. The aggressive rape. Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad. But I realized that I'm happier now, much more than I ever was. And to tell you why, I give you...


The Top 5 Things Bryan Doesn't Miss About Working


1. Waking up when it's still pitch black, and slamming into everything on your way out the door.




I went through THREE cats that way.

2.  Listening to the radio on my way to and from work.





3. Working 8 full hours, even if you complete all of your day's tasks in half the time.



4. Wearing pants.

If I wear nothing but my underwear at home, I'm "comfortable." If I wear nothing but my underwear at the office, I'm a "sex offender." So unfair.


5. Being forced to either eat greasy fast food every day, or microwave TV dinners. There is never a happy 'in-between' when you're working full time.




So here I am, happier, more productive, and healthier than I've ever been in my life now that I'm NOT working. What about you guys? Would you quit your job if you could? What do you hate about working?

Stay classy, friends,
Bryan

Mood: Diabetic
Beer: Warka
Shower: With no job, I can shower on a weekly basis! ...


The Office Job Food Pyramid (TM)

64 comments:

  1. I’m more of a boxer shorts man myself.

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  2. I hate wearing pants also. I am always naked unless I have somewhere I need to be. That is why I hate when people just come over unexpected. When I hear that damn door bell I panic to find my clothes. One day I am going to just say “fuck it” and answer the door naked.

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  3. I haven't had a job for over 6 months either... I should consider getting benefits, haha.

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  4. i hate sleeping in pants mostly cause all my pj are huge.

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  5. "I think careers are a 20th century invention, and I don't want one" -Christopher McCandless.

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  6. I kid you not. Not even 5 minutes after making that comment some asshole rings my door bell. WTF?

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  7. Wow I agree with everything you just said!! I quit my job in Dec, had a few odd jobs, but havent really been working a "grown ups" job since then and I LOVE it! I am happier and healther too, most probably because I am not staring at boring screen doing pointless work for 8 hours! If you can do it then fuck it, leave work and take a break!
    If I went to work the way I dress at home then I would be know as ugly Betty... I am a state... love it!! : )

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  8. been self employed for nearly a year now. ITSSSS GREAT

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  9. forget pants! haha i wish i could get a job where i could be pantless, but i wouldnt make a good stripper

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  10. I know. I want to just stay at home and write and sleep and work out. Those are my dreams. Now if someone would just pay me to do that or if my husband didn't insist on eating every day. :)

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  11. You seem to assume I have a job
    HAH

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  12. i can't really relate because i listen to NPR.

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  13. lmao!!! that food pyramid is the right one!!!

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  14. I'd go the rest of my life without working if I could. What do I hate the most?
    Me: Is there anything else I can do for you?
    Customer: Yeah, give me a million dollars...
    Please, for the love of God, never say that to your teller.

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  15. LMAO! Except I hope you are kidding about the cats. Mine are constantly trying to kill me that way, too.

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  16. I am part sloth. I would never get my ass off the couch if I didn't have a job to go to.

    That said, I do wish I could go back to a non office job with non office hours. But you go where the health befits are, and in my case that's desk work.

    The pyramid was fantastic, btw.

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  17. I would definitely never work for someone else again if I could manage to think of something I like to do that makes money...so far...no go! I would especially never like to hear the words "What are YOU PEOPLE doing for my______"(fill in the blank, mom, sister...) Like I just sit around watching people die for my amusement.....

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  18. my body isnt ready for a 9-5 either

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  19. I'd rather be working than be killing myself in online school. Jsayin'...
    >.<

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  20. I'm not sure anyone would want to see it but I'd rather wear as close to nothing as possible and still be socially acceptable. The first thing I do when I get home is throw off my clothes. Anyway...I quit my office job 3 years ago and have never been happier. No more ordering out, no more early mornings and late nights, no more corporate bullshit, no more traffic, no more annoying co-workers (you have no idea how bitchy 20 women working together at a daycare can get!), no more directors meetings, trainings...yup. I was high man on the totem...I ran the school and I hated it. No thank you. Now I'm a nanny with no money but I'm MUCH happier.

    If I hit to lotto you can be damn sure I'd quit my job. I'd still help families/kids but on a much more part time basis...no more 7:30-7:30 for me!!

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  21. It's so true what you say about the radio station LOL and every job should have that food pyramid on there wall!

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  22. loool! enjoy your unemployment benefits hey. LMAO @ the pictures

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  23. Oi Vey.. I's tired.. really tired of corporate America, ride to the 4th floor, smile pretty all day, have 5 instant messages going at once.. yes sir, I's tired.. now if only I can find a way to quit and not have to live in a box under a bridge......hmm, that sounds sorta cool April-Oct....

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  24. Underwear on the couch is my idea of dream work attire too.

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  25. that morning ritual of getting up and shuffling through the home is always sucha drag, I've got a whole ritual that I sleep walk thru until I get on my commuter train. walking dead I am.

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  26. lol yep! work totally sucks, and as for finishing work earlier. totally just giver. i do. all the time. then if someone gets pissy im just like "challenge accepted" and i school em they get mad, cause theyre usually stupid.

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  27. As someone who just re-entered the work force I am really envious of you right now. I knew I shouldn't have gone back but here I am, punching the clock. Really wish I was punching a clock. I guess going to the gym will have to do.

    If I could quit tomorrow I possibly would. There's just something about working for someone else that is getting me down.

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  28. I'm currently employed by my dad, so I guess you can say that I'm "working from home." Honestly, it's more like he's just using me for cheap labor and trying to bribe me to do things for him so I'll be too busy to do other...less Godly things.

    Like, right now, he's paying me sixty bucks to read a Christian book and then take notes on it for him.

    I swear he chose a book with bible verses on every single page on PURPOSE.

    And I think I wouldn't mind working. After all, I'm gorgeous, talented, and funny, so I'm sure all my coworkers will be sucked into my aura of sunshine, rainbows, and a vagina that smells like freesia.

    Also, I would REALLY enjoy work if one of my colleagues was...well, let's just say, absolutely delicious. ;)

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  29. Haha, the car radio one rings so true with me. Don't know why I bother with that. If I could I would quit my job in a heartbeat!!

    Great post again.

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  30. Great cartoons, this is one of my favourite blogs.

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  31. yeh man, its so wrong that we are forced to spend so long working. its not good for the body.

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  32. haha, having a job is definitely the pits. Luckily for my job, I can wake up at 730 and not go in until after 9, listen to my ipod in the car and bring my own lunch. I do finish my work in about 2hrs though and have to shower :(.

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  33. I would quit if I could afford it and just concentrate on my finger drawings....I could make squillions but my job is holding me back...please send money this way --->

    actually I just bought a steamer, put a load full of veggie and meat/fish in there and sorted for lunch!

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  34. I don't miss the moodiness of people and having to walk on eggshells around them. And I don't miss the drama and gossip. AT ALL!

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  35. I don't think I could work in a cubicle. It would drive me insane. But I did once have a job that had this same 'what to eat' problems. It turned out to be my skinniest month ever, cos I chose to not eat anything. And yes, I only lasted there a month.

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  36. hehe Best read of the day!

    Nakey sleep is the best sleep. I'm about to return to dayjob-ville after being a starving artist for 2 years. Hopefully I won't kill anyone.

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  37. Careers are for chumps who can't think of ways to avoid them.

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  38. It has been three years for me. I don't miss the cubicle or work, just some of the people. I do love sitting here in my underwear each morning drinking my coffee and reading blogs.

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  39. I fucking loathe cubicles! I also don't like working with a bunch of women. That's why this type of work suits me. I'm doing office work but it's on a construction site. Our offices are in trailers where there's no room for cubicles...only offices and small boardrooms. It's also about 11-1 Men to Women here.
    Oh and I wear jeans and a hoody every freaking day.
    However, if I could become a lady of leisure right now I would in an instant. Just gotta work on the lady part first.

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  40. Funny post, thanks for sharing.

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  41. what a nightmare of a radio :D
    i'm employed since the beggining of this year only. it was hard to get used to it. before i used to wake up late, INTERNET all day :D sometimes go out at night with friends...i miss that. now i have all these responsabilities and worries, i have to wake up early and that's the worse for me. on the other hand, i have money now haha but i work all the time. fuck. i need a vacation.

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  42. I with you. I don't miss working a bit, but for me the unemployment has long since died out and I most definitely miss my paycheck :(

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  43. Hey whats up, sorry I've been gone for a while but I've returned with a revamped page featuring completely original comics about all sorts of things! From me complaining to me being melodramatic, you'll love some of it, I promise but can't guarantee!

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  44. Congrats on making it 6 months ;)

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  45. Get a job in academia, but like mediocre academia so that way they're satisfied that you have shoes on the right feet. And if you don't, they'll let you slide most days, they're just glad you remembered to how to breathe. I really kind of like my lackadaisical job in academia, excepting the part where I actually have to teach college children things, that part I'm not so hip on. But the free organic coffee makes it work dragging myself in everyday.

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  46. HIlarious. I dont miss working at all too.

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  47. Hilarious and true cartoon!

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  48. Working is pretty much a bitch. I work for my dad now so I can kinda of make my own hours which translates to me rolling in between 8:00 (when I should be there) and 10:30. I really need to start my own business so I can do whatever the fuckity fuck I want whenever I want. I too enjoy not wearing pants, but I'm pretty sure that would not go over so well here. Well, I think it would go over well fabulously for the truck drivers, just not me.

    Also, why are your pits always sweaty? Are you sweaty? I'm sweaty.

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  49. This is exactly why I never bother with the radio. I remember a DJ on GTA: San Andreas saying "these songs are like trains, the same one leaves the station every hour". It's more than just a little bit depressing.

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  50. Ha! Loved this--who wouldn't be happier not working? The last job I held as a consultant was for a large corporation and I hated it. But I loved going in if only for the colorful and monstrous salad bar and other chef's specials. Holy cow, I could have eaten in that cafeteria all day long. (Oh, I think I did. I think that's all I did.) ;)

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  51. Hilarious! The radio caller is dead on. And I am envious of your Audi. And not working. Very funny stuff.

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  52. Ewwww McDonalds...I try to avoid that stuff. With being at school all day packed lunches can be good.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  53. i dont work since im 15 and all, but this summer, clothes didnt exist. i swear. i stayed in my house in next tonothing every single day. and since i live in the middle of effing nowhere, when my mom is at work i even walk outside naked. going back to school is gunna suck ;(

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  54. I recently quit my job (one that I actually didn't mind) to relocate to London with my husband. I've been happily unemployed for five weeks. I'm healthier, I sleep better, and the only stress I have is how much to buy at the grocery store because I can only carry so much back to the house (.8 mile walk). I (aka the monster who took over my laptop before I regained control) found a job opening here that I would be perfect for and I chose to ignore it. At least "the monster" knows jobs are out there... just in case.

    Cheers to being unemployed!

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  55. the thing i hate most about working .... the working part

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  56. Quit work..sell all our crap..moving to Ecuador and become a hippie! Changing my name to some earthy name like - Heady Aroma or Sky Bird-Shit. Thanks for inspiring!

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  57. The sex offender comment killed.

    Due to all the laughing I attempt to stifle, I probably shouldn't read this at work...

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  58. Hi Bryan,

    And what do you do for a living now that you are unemployed?

    I'd love to quit my job and do something on my own, but I still haven't decided what to do, and I am scared of not being able to earn the same amount of money monthly... how did you begin your self employment?

    I'm 9 hours in front of my computer at work, mondays to fridays, it's worse than slavery, lol.

    I know visual.net, javascript, php, mysql, I'd love to build a software for sale, I should be starting right now! but I get home too tired to do anything, fu**

    Please can you give me some ideas? :-)
    I'm from Montevideo, Uruguay, South America ;-) you have a nice blog, nice drawings.

    Take care
    LoreG

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  59. Any job that requires you wear pants can't be good!

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