Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Free Underwear, Lightly Used.

            The clothes dryer in my apartment building has been broken for two weeks. And now that it’s summertime and the city has turned into Satan’s sauna, my laundry basket has swollen to capacity twice as fast as usual with sweaty clothes. For fear that my apartment was starting to smell like a jockstrap, I decided to bite the bullet and make my first ever trip to a laundromat. Luckily, the city is full of them, and I only had to walk half a block.
            I didn’t really know what to expect, having never been to a place where I could toss around my soapy boxers in public before. In my head I imagined a high-tech version of me and the local villagers visiting the Ganges with bottles of shampoo and big baskets full of saffron underoos. In reality, it felt more like going to a car wash…but for clothes. Needless to say, everything got clean. But I made a new friend during the process…




After escaping the clutches of the overly helpful laundromat attendant (I'm choosing to assume he worked there), I came home to find that my first foray into public laundry was even more successful than I could have hoped. Not only did I have clean clothes, but brought back a stowaway pair of strange, frilly underwear and a random sock. Score!
Cheers,

-brandon

Music: Sick Puppies
Beer: Green Line (Goose Island)

52 comments:

  1. dang that guy is sneaky! lol.

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  2. How can you possibly complain about a trip that gets you an extra sock AND filly underwear!? Sounds like awesome sauce to me.

    As for overly helpful people, I struggle to keep my annoyance in check when I know all they are really trying to do is help me. That is when the iPod comes in and I just shrug and point to the ear bug...ooops...can't hear you! hehe. Sometimes I don't even have anything playing, I just want to be left alone.

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  3. Did he offer you a choice of condoms, too? A little too friendly, methinks.

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  4. hopefully he did work there!! eek!

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  5. I was always amazed at the endless supply of hot water at these laundry mats....where does it all come from? Some Huge tank in the basement?

    so glad, I now have a wash/dryer in my unit. used to have to carry my dirty bits in a Santa Sack over my shoulder and fold my man panties w/ creepy local peeps all watchin....uncomfortable indeed!

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  6. put on the frilly underwear and call it a night, you've done well

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  7. Wow talk about your overly helpful attendant...I'm still trying to figure out how he got into the washer so stealth like...

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  8. The bit where he peers over your book is so scary haha

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  9. I can't bring my self to do laundry at the laundromat. Creeps me out for some reason. But here's one for a laundry story. When I was living in Jersey in some guys attic (which they called an "Apartment" for some reason) I was stuck there the day before Christmas eve cause of a a snow storm. Had no clean clothes for a party the next day so I had to do my laundry by hand in the sink. Started in the morning but the clothes still weren't dry for the next night so I went to the party in damp clothes. That's a time I wish I had a Asian attendant around. Bet they could have found a way to dry those clothes without a dryer.

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  10. you may find you have lost 2 of your socks and have turned all your white shirts pink in exchange for those frilly knickers.
    For some reason, that always happens to me when i use a public laundry.

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  11. If you keep going, you could end up with a whole new wardrobe.

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  12. Frilly underwear?

    Bet that made the sexual fantasies easier. ;)

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  13. Did you smell the new undies? You totally did.

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  14. If you only knew what happened with that sock and those panties before they got mixed up with your clothes you wouldn't be so excited.

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  15. As long as it's only lightly used

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  16. Always nice to bring back some frill underwear, I assume.

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  17. Hey! Those are my undies! lol jk. I've never been in a laundromat with an attendant...a weird, creepy attendant...

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  18. you haven't put it together that the socks and underwear are the attendant's yet, have you?

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  19. Yeah, what -E- said. Three days from now, there's going to be a knock on your door. It will be the attendant going "Excuse me, I believe you have my frilly undies. May I come in?"

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  20. I am so happy your first time using a laundromat went so well. Congrats on the extra clothes. Most people lose socks and you scored one.

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  21. I am a huge fan of the TV show "Monk". This reminded me of the time he went into the industrial size dryer to find the one dark sock that was missing. OCD. Sounds like your new friend there. I hope he works there too otherwise that's just too weird. Great post.

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  22. Lol he doesn't seem like a trustworthy fellow

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  23. I would have said" remember I don't give a fuck?"

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  24. I think I would sooner chew off my right arm before I would go back to using a public laundry facility. I even have a special savings account just in case my washer or dryer breaks I can replace it. Ok, so the account is actually for my Mustang, but I would totally sacrifice quarter panel funds to not have to step into the land of mystery panties and socks again.

    Cheers!
    SF

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  25. I put extra socks and underware into strangers' laundry all the time. For me it's kind of like saying, 'Hello. How are ya? You having a good time washing your clothes?'

    visions unto myself

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  26. Sweet, free underoos, might be worth an extra visit.

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  27. Had to stop here first... been along time, and I know I'll never catch up..missed anything earth shattering? look for my blog to be churning maybe by next week ( not that it's so wonderful, just say'n)
    miss you two!!

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  28. You definitely scored with the frilly drawers! This post had me cracking up, I kinda love meddling weirdos.

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  29. never been in these places either, seems you had a good experience

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  30. Haha I hate those places. The ones I've been to seem to have the most complicated machines in the world.

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  31. Haven't used a laundromat in several decades, so I've probably blocked a lot of it out. But I will say that I always HATED using the laundry rooms in apartments. Apparently I'm the only one the cleans out the dryer's lint trap after I do a load. If I have to reach in there and pull out a bunch of lint and discarded pubes, it had better be my own. So many times I'd look before I started and there would be a mouse-nest forming. Bleah...

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  32. hahah that's hilarious. i have never been to a laundromat either

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  33. I hated having to do laundry at the laundromat... but I'm phenomenally lazy about this sort of thing. I hate leaving the house if I'm not being paid to do so or getting entertained somehow.

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  34. lmbo! atleast u got random new stuff!..smh :P
    i've never been 2 a laundromat *jealous sigh*

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  35. i'd like to go to one of those, like in the movies :b

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  36. honestly i cant say i have ever been to the laundromat... wait, does the dry cleaners mean the same thing? cuz i have been there. honestly though, nothing is better than ending up with free under clothes, right? oh try the regifting thing... give them to an uncle/cousin/somebody that you dont like, could end up being really funny! but on the other hand... i wonder what you left at the laundromat???

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  37. haha that cartoon was awesome, especially as he just appeared in the dryer hahah!

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  38. LOL BEST DRAWINGS EVER!

    i'm loling so hard right now!!!

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  39. haha that is frakin awesome! i like where he's hiding in the dryer and peeking over the book. for some reason it wont let me follow you but i bookmarked your blog. will be back to check out more cool posts!

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  40. I found three pairs of panties in my last load. Wait, that sounds dirty.

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  41. I hope I never have to go to one of those places. They scare me. Well at least the ones near my house do.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  42. what a weerdo.
    in the UK we don't have places where we wash our clothes outside of our own house. except for maybe in london.....
    so i find the whole thing odd. i wonder where the other sock got to...

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