At first I wasn't sure it was going to come together. The bride and I were doing everything ourselves, and once it hit an hour before the ceremony, she had to go get ready and I was left to set everything up by myself. Like the many armed goddess Shiva, I had to pull up my big girl panties and make things happen. See diagram below.
1. Platter of bacon wrapped shrimp I grilled
2. Extra serving spoon for mashed potatoes
3. Beer to calm my nerves
4. English to Spanish dictionary so I can talk to Grandma-in-law, who speaks no English
5. A symbolic offering of my testicles on a silver platter (symbolic because they already belonged to the woman long before we married)
6. The Flaming Sword of Anthor (for slaying dragons, duh)
7. Another beer to calm my nerves (double fisting it!)
8. My Shake Weight(TM)... gotta keep those serving arms strong, right?
9. My angry tears... pull it together, Sally!
The nuptials were sweet. They kinda went something like this.
I hope the photographer captured that. It'd be a great addition to the office.
And so now I'm happily married, and I'm also able to return to blogging, both of which is fantastic. I've missed you guys a lot, so expect some blog lovin' in the next few days. Also look for Brandon's report of the wedding on Wednesday. In the meanwhile, I'm gonna go spend some time with the new wifey, but I'll leave you with this...
If you remember THE Neighbor (see either this story or this story for the craziness) you know that he hates my guts. And in the 1 year I've lived here, he has never spoken to me. Not once. So imagine my surprise when I'm loading up folding chairs in my father-in-law's SUV to return to the rental place, and the neighbor steps outside of the house, smiling his cheesy fake smile. He then asks if he can move his truck, so I could pull in the SUV closer and save myself some trouble. Uh... what?
His exact words. "I'm just happy to help you out." So now we're cool? I don't get it. I can't stress this enough, this man hates me. He's never spoken to me prior to this, has yelled at my now-wife, and has called the police on us. And now he's just being our friendly neighbor?
But alas, this was not the weirdest part. Right as he went to move his truck he asked me this:
Yep, the neighbor's "really happy" for us and thinks we're buddies now. God, I need a beer.
Stay classy, friends,
Mood: "Flabbergasted" (even more so than Harold Camping, because unlike the end of the world not happening, this IS shocking)
Shower: It feels like I need to scrub myself extra hard after having that conversation