Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Running with Goo

      You'll notice that immediately after my last post about my computer being a terrorist, Osama Bin Laden was caught and killed. Coincidence? I doubt it.
      You're welcome, America.
      But I'm not here to talk about a dead extremist. No, that topic's been beaten to death, shot in the head, and thrown into the ocean. I'm here to talk about hardcore gay pornography.
      My soon-to-be brother-in-law, who I have mentioned a few times on this blog before, is a big bodybuilder looking dude who happens to be gay. He also happens to have lived in this house before my fiance and I did, and he happened to leave a lot of his unused goods shit here, which has been tossed into random closets throughout the house.
      The other day my friend Jason was over and we decided to clear some of it out.
      That was a tragic mistake.


First, Jason found a garment he couldn't quite identify, even after handling it.

 
At least he had something to puke *into*

Oh, but Jason wasn't the one who made the worst discovery. It was I. We stumbled upon a collection of DVDs: music videos from my brother-in-law's favorite bands. I recognized all of them, except one with a very odd name. It had no pictures or designs on the front; it was simply labeled, "Running With Goo." We wondered what it was.

Again, tragic mistake.

 
  
Isn't that thing full yet?
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go claw my eyes out and never go digging through my brother-in-law's stuff ever again.

Stay classy, friends,
Bryan

Mood: Violated
Beer: I need some, stat
Shower: See below

47 comments:

  1. Ahhhh hahahahahaah!!! Hilarious!!! But what the shit kind of name is that for a gay porno? Actually, maybe I don't want to know....

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  2. LMAO!!!!! Never go threw people stuff, especially if they are gay!

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  3. That was funny, stop going through peoples jockstraps, it's habit forming.

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  4. Finally! You in the shower! With a beer! ;)

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  5. Running With Goo is perhaps the most unappealing title for a porn I have ever heard.

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  6. I can see you in the shower, rocking back and forth scrubbing...

    "Why can't I get CLEAN? Why do I still feel so DIRTY???"

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  7. i run with goo all the time

    wait, what?

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  8. LOL Well that's a bit different and hilarious!

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  9. surprise ehehe!

    lol my jewish laptop

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  10. Hahahahahahahaha. OMG, how hysterical is this? Thank you but no thank you on the little goodies left behind.

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  11. bwahahahahahaha! That is what you get! I thought I'd have died! Who doesn't recognize a jock strap and puts it on their head!? Nasty!

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  12. good thing you labelled this post with the "running with goo" tag lol. i sense a lot of traffic coming your way soon.

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  13. I wonder where the 'running with goo' reference comes into play in the porno story line... Actually, I don't want to know.

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  14. This happens because humans are always curious! But when a situation like this happens, it's not pretty LOL

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  15. Wow, what do I comment on? The old/used jockstrap? The gay porn? The awesome name of the gay porn?

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  16. You totally called it with bin ladens death and all!

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  17. ..and that day, not a single thing went without being thrown up on. The end.

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  18. There are so many morals to that story... on the bright side it could have been a home movie

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  19. Haha, that comic was sweet.

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  20. OMG, that must have been a shock. You reminded me of a funny story though...years ago one of my gay friends said there was a DVD I had to borrow. I joked, "Was it porn?" and she replied, "Yes." So here I am getting up the nerve and weeks later I finally watch it, and it's not porn. It's a real movie. She was yanking my chain and I didn't get the joke.

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  21. Dude! The DVD thing is hilarious! You have to turn this all into a comic book or something.

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  22. I can just see it now your brother in law waiting on the other side of the curtain waiting for you to drop the soap.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  23. gave me a lovely giggle this :)
    Bit like how one time I chased a link on a comment on a gay blog and ended up with waaaaayyyy to much information for this innocent little lady lol. Learned my lesson on that one hehe

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  24. is this story real?? dude i lold

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  25. Haha dude, that's pretty unlucky. I too would be apprehensive about digging through his stuff EVER again.

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  26. Wow, I feel so horrible for you...

    But like "G" said, it could have been a HOME MOVIE! Just think, every time you walk in that room you would be reliving what you saw on the video, every. night. of. your. life!

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  27. Hahaha.

    Im hopeful my overall fear of accidentally viewing hard core gay porn would have won out over my cat like curiosity of unknown dvds.

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  28. Oh dear jebus! AHAHAHA!!! that kind of scarring can never be undone...NEVER. hahahahaha...

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  29. XD Sounds like a very classy film.

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  30. hahaha brilliant and classy. just the way i like it =)

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  31. lol, one of your best man. hilarious

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  32. hahaha the Jewish laptop was the best part....I think from now on you should just throw it out without checking it...ever...again

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  33. I blame the Goo Goo dolls for making you think that something with the name Goo in it might be anything but porn

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  34. Sure. It's your brother in law's porn...

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  35. You should just be thankful it wasn't homemade.

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  36. lmfao I make burned DVDs of gay porn for my guy-friends all the time...they really fucking hate me ;)

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  37. who flung goo! bro in law is a saucy cat. my hardcore gay porn is in a small lit'l box w/ instructions on it that read "to be burned if my immortality is dissolved" I would never....NEVER leave that shizz laying around. My Gawd!

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  38. nothing like a barfing comic to make my day. Haha you humour amuses me.

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  39. Honest question: why gal on gal action (4 boobies, 2 w-eyes) excites men but man on man action always makes the ladies throw up?

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  40. ahahahahahaha!!!! The "It had no pictures or designs on the front; it was simply labeled..." Should have been a dead give away! I hope you guys watched some straight porn (separately) right after that to visually wash the images away!

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  41. Well, I guess that'll teach ya to rifle through other people's shit. Not like it stopped the dudes in the video or nothin...

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