Friday, April 15, 2011

Stir Crazy

         This week the missus has been gone to visit family in Las Vegas, leaving me here from Monday to Friday all by my lonesome. It's been cold, it's been rainy, and it's been snowy, so I've been barricaded in this small three-story townhouse like a prisoner in a trendy, earthy-colored tower of doom.
          With all this time spent by myself, I think I'm starting to see and hear things... Shadows darting across the stairs when I'm only half looking. The paint on the walls melting into the carpet. The cat just walked by and called me Steve. My name is Bryan, you thoughtless prick.
           But none of that compares to the neighbor's labrador. He just sits out there in his backyard, day in and day out, watching me. Sun, rain, or snow, he's there, and when I come to the window, he stares at me. I know what he's thinking.
 

Fuck yeah.

Stay classy, friends,
Bryan

Mood: Victorious
Beer: Heineken
Shower: What's that? I haven't had one of those all week.

52 comments:

  1. Why in the blue hell didn't you go to vegas with her? Let her visit family, while you go play.

    It's VEGAS, baby!

    And yeah, I agree with what you said on my comment. The thing is, they paid me once. Got my hopes up. And then BAM. I'm still optimistic (read: delusional) about things though.

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  2. Nice one especially the cat, the thoughtless prick:D

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  3. This actually made me laugh out loud. This is probably related to the fact that for years when I needed to step away from the keyboard in an online game I typed "brb dog on fire."

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  4. I guess the only true way to win a staring contest with a dog is to set them on fire.

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  5. Fuck. I need a cigarette after all that suspense. I hope I don't have nightmares about the burning dog. Good thing I sleep with a nightlight!

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  6. haha that comic is hilarious.

    i think you should have a horror movie marathon or something since you're by yourself. thats what i would do

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  7. LOL now I'll know what to do if my dog messes with me!

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  8. NOOOO YOU SET THE GRILL MASTER 3000 ON FIRE TOO!!!!

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  9. you have pink pizza on your shoulders

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  10. Your blog seems pretty cool,I´ll follow.
    Keep up the good work¡¡

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  11. your so mean! u killed the poor doggie :'( lol

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  12. Shit. Ive got family is in Las Vegas...you don't think we're married do you?

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  13. You should probably set the cat on fire with your mind too. That fucker is in cahoots with the dog. I know it.

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  14. This comic is lies! Humans never win the stare down!

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  15. If I had mind powers like that I wouldnt be setting dogs on fire... They are awesome! Instead I would light the entire cast of the Hills ablaze!! >:D

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  16. Bet he continued to stare at you, didn't he?

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  17. he probably just wants you to play with him!

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  18. love that character you got there

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  19. I hate it when my cat pretends she doesn't know my name :)

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  20. Those firestarter powers seem great, but they will cost you. It will end badly I'm afraid.

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  21. …..and thus the world’s first Hot Dog was created...Tune in next week for the equally compelling history behind the Bear Claw and the Club Sandwich...

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  22. Me and my dog are the same way lol

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  23. lol totally put that bitch into place. see what i did thar, also u must be rich if u drink hienekin

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  24. Uh-Oh!! What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.. Give her the shakedown when she returns:-)

    How the hell have you guys been? Miss reading and will be back more often..

    Lynnie

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  25. you SHOULD take a shower, I mean if you reek, no one is gonna hang out with you to drink a beer.

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  26. Sounds just like a bad acid trip I had in 1978. I think you ate some somehow. It will all be over soon and she will be back to take care of you! Heineken....mmmm mmmmm good!

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  27. awesome comic...and agree with Lost above...when in vegas

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  28. I didn't know you had latent fire producing abilities

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  29. Haha no way? My mom just got back from Las Vegas - it was so nice having the house to myself for a few days.

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  30. lmfao poor damn pooch!!! lmfao that shit was hilarious...Hey, wait a minute...I almost spilled my damn Malt Liquior! Grrrrr!

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  31. Lol, great story, sorry about the cabin fever.
    Like the layout of the blog, following.

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  32. Uh, oh. The missus better not extend her family visit. (Lest you may find all kinds of scary super powers.) ;)

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  33. Mind power...interesting. Your drawing look so cute..

    New follower:D
    http://glowingsnow85.blogspot.com/

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  34. I thought labs were water dogs.

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  35. Definitely a cat person then...

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  36. Fuck.Yes. I wish I could catch stuff on fire with my eyes and uncleanliness!

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  37. Teach me how to do that, Bryan. It may come in handy at work...

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  38. I laughed out so loud reading this comic! I enjoyed it so much. But seriously, you could have gone with your wife to Vegas. Aside from the entertainment, you can check out gorgeous new units of house for sale here.

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