Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Is the Idiot of the House Available?

      I've been getting a ton of calls from angry creditors lately. Money owed on credit cards. Money owed on cars. Money owed on cell phone bills and Internet bills. So much money owed from one irresponsible person...
      And it's not even me.
      You know those 'super-fun-triple-bundle-packs' or whatever they call them through your local TV/Internet provider, that promise low prices if you bundle TV, Internet, and a home phone through them?
      Well, if you get one, don't EVER get it through Comcast, because they will give you an old phone number that was repossessed from a dead beat.
       The calls started a matter of days after hooking up my new phone; angry creditors demanding to know where some guy named David was. I told them politely that it was the wrong household, they apologized for the inconvenience, and then hung up...
       Only to call me back 2 hours later.
       The thing about creditors is that they hear 'Oh yeah, David doesn't live here' all day long, so it means nothing to them. They're still just gonna keep calling and calling and calling, until David magically admits he's an asshole and forks over the $10,000 we all know he never had in the first place.
       I called Comcast and I told them everything.


I didn't even find out how the 'movie' ended! ... Oh wait, that's right, in her eye.

      The guy I talked to at Comcast sounded genuinely concerned. He changed my phone number for free, on the spot, and told me to have a great day.
      And I did...until I found out they gave me another fucking repo'd number.
      After that, the calls were doubled, and then tripled. These calls weren't just for any dead beat, no, they were for the Queen of the Dead Beats. I'm talking someone who's probably never paid a bill in her whole life, who's credit score is so low she shouldn't be allowed to hold anything but cash.
        Her name is Nayeli Moreno, and I don't care who knows it, because I've been getting 5 calls a day for this bitch and they won't let up. She's a deat beat who can't afford to pay any of her bills, including (clearly) her home telephone, which was repo'd and given so generously to me, or the Cadillac Escalade she ran off with. Yes, one of the creditors slipped and told me this. Now, what I want to know is this... who the FUCK would give someone like her the loan for a Cadillac Escalade??
 
And we wonder what's wrong with this country

          I called Comcast to ask about a number change, again, and they informed me that they couldn't change it anymore, suggested that the creditors will 'eventually go away,' and put a $20 credit on my account for the 'inconvenience.'
          I know, here's an idea! Why don't you give the $20 to Nayeli so she can pay her damn bills and I won't get called anymore???
          Even worse, Nayeli, Queen of the Dead Beats, caught wind of me bad mouthing her to all my friends, and sent her minions after me.


The Apartment of Unholy Minions



           But she couldn't afford to pay any of her minions, so they went elsewhere. Guess I dodged the bullet on that one.

          So, anyone ever been bothered by creditors that were looking for someone else? How do you get them to go away without spending an hour on the phone?


Stay classy, friends,
Bryan

Mood: Irked
Beer: None (even more irksome)
Shower: The one place they can't call me!

58 comments:

  1. I *think* I'm laughing WITH you?!?!?! Very funny cartoons.

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  2. I've had the identity theft bullshit and then trying to prove i wasn't in that country?

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  3. Regarding cartoons:Bring back Chad and Eric! #Mousse ;)

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  4. I have some chick's old phone number and I'm constantly getting calls from her uncle and friends. She should really tell them she changed her phone number. One person cursed me out after I told him five times that I wasn't Michelle. So annoying. I can't imagine being hassled by someone else's bill collectors, though. That really sucks.

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  5. I have been having the same issue for THREE YEARS!! Creditors, repo people, even attorney offices. At first, I tried to be all nice and polite about it. Until after the forth time the same attorney office called... I asked to speak to the one in charge. I threatened a harassment suit (note: helps if you keep track of names, times, and people you've spoken with!). No more calls.

    Hindsight? Screening calls may have been less time consuming. But yelling at attorneys? Far more fun.

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  6. Wait until you've had the misfortune of having the same last name as a sibling who won't pay HER bills... and people keep calling to find out if I have HER current phone number or address. They get creative, too! One pretended to be an ex-boyfriend from high school who wanted to get in touch, another "friended" my ass on FB to find HER address and phone number.
    Thing is, I haven't spoken to HER in five years and couldn't give them a number or address if they waterboarded me!
    I've found the best help in getting them to stop calling is to claim that SHE owes me money, too, and if they find her address or phone number would they PLEASE CALL ME TOO!!!

    Should have killed her when we were little, no one would have convicted a little kid...

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  7. omg i've never xperienced sumthing like this but i cAN Only imagine how annoying it is for you,lol. You're so hilarious though :p ..glad her minions couldnt get u.

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  8. Is it bad that I think Nayeli, Queen of the Dead Beats is hot?

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  9. Comcast did that to me once and then we moved to Time Warner territory and we kept getting calls from people looking for their Minister Wright. We stopped answering and let caller ID do it's job. It's is so friggen' annoying.

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  10. tell them you're going to blow up their offices

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  11. First - Stop answering your phone from numbers you do not recognize. lol

    If that is not possible - Give them that dead beats NEW PHONE NUMBER and what you're actually giving them is the phone number to the customer service sales department of the company calling you. WHOLA. They can run circles within their own company. :)

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  12. Oh my goodness that is horrible! I would absolutely lose my mind! That being said since you can't avoid it have some fun with it...start acting like her pimp and making outrageous claims...or her son just looking for his mommy and can they help? I mean honestly--this could be seriously hilarious blog fodder. Use it!

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  13. :D love the drawings
    funny description.
    I never went through that.

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  14. My bad dude!

    I tell you what, you just go ahead and give them my new pay by the day cellio fone number.
    I got that thing hooked up 'till Friday, fo sho.

    oh, you got like, $20 I can borrow?

    Nayeli Moreno

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  15. well, at least you got 20$ credit

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  16. i got rid of my land line from scam-cast and problem solved...

    but before that i just turned the ringer off and disconnected the phone...from the jack..

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  17. For the past 6 years I've had calls for Mr Nelson... no matter how many times you say "the dude ain't hear" they just call back a few weeks later...so now I on't answer my phone - people call me on my cell

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  18. Dude, I'd chuck the phone at that point!

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  19. I hate getting calls from wrong numbers, but this is worse. It's the right number, but it is indeed wrong. I don't even know why I answer the phone anyways. All it ever is are my mom's friends. I should just start unplugging it...

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  20. For ages I was geting texts from a furniture rental company I had never dealt with telling me I was in arrears. Gave up after the 5th time trying to tell them that it wasnt me. Just deleted the text until they gave up (or the deadbeat finally paid the bill I hope)

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  21. I get that on my cell all the time.

    Hi, is this natalie?

    Do I SOUND like a natalie?

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  22. At this point I would just start fucking with the creditors and doing and saying all kinds of crazy shit.
    One time we had a business phone line and it was one digit off of some Ford hotline and we got calls like every ten minutes at all hours of the night. It was terrible.

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  23. I love how they all have sweat stains! lol.

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  24. Did you put sweat stains on Nayeli's breasts? Wow. You really ARE mad!

    Very funny post!

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  25. The best way to deal with this is just have fun with it :D, that's what I do haha

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  26. Good to know you're enjoying your COMCASTIC experience.

    I don't bother with home phones anymore. cell onry.

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  27. Get your Free Credit Score Report - free for 30 Days. Unique anti-ID theft security measures included in this fantastic package as part of the service.Free Credit Score Report

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  28. BAHAHAHAHAHA.

    THIS WAS HILARIOUS.

    I know the socially acceptable response would be to utter "Aw, that sucks, I'm sorry for you," in a sympathetic tone, but I'm just going to say this anyway:

    The drawings were freaking awesome and I think you should get irked more often.

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  29. Nope, the creditors calling are looking for me.

    ...Al Roker?

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  30. I feel sorry for you, but look on the bright side, at least you've managed to turn it into a super funny story, congrats!!

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  31. Thats why I dont pick up the phone. They keep calling for a Don Julio....wtf is don julio!?!?!

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  32. Must be an American thing otherwise I would have people calling me....oh wait daddies credit card...let's go shopping y'all!

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  33. lmao loved the comment u left. and i clearly cant come up with one just as witty. fuck, i suck

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  34. lol, those cartoons were hilarious

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  35. I regularly got phone calls about the hundreds of tshirts someone else ordered for over a year. Eventually I stopped trying to tell them I didn't know anything about a huge tshirt order, and started confirming the order for whoever it was they were trying to reach. They stopped calling shortly after that. Winner.

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  36. Jesus man, that's a horror story. I've heard bad things about Comcast but nothing like that. Luckily I've never had that problem. Hope that somehow that gets fixed. I'd go mental.

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  37. This happens to me a lot, partially because I have a very common name, and partially because I was a deadbeat in my misspent youth. Separating the debts which are legit from the ones that aren't... how much fun is that?

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  38. I feel your pain!

    Usually the calls are for my dead beat ex husband. I give them his cell phone number ;-)

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  39. Ha ha ha ha! Oh, man. You should use this as an opportunity to fuck w/the creditors. Or maybe give them a number of someone you highly dislike saying it's her new one (like your douchey neighbor). =)

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  40. Here's one confession check whether this would help.
    Our mailbox was getting filed with all invitations from prospect ladies for perfect match for marriage from a matrimony site for longtime..It was becoming a nuisance and putting it to spam didnt work.
    So,I logged to site asked for neww password and it came to my mailid and changed the profile to 60years, handicapped,married 3 times and no car no house and evereything..

    Problem solved:)That creep stopped giving our address for anything:)

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  41. I do feel your pain. Really. However, it's much easier to laugh at your frustrations than my own. And I did laugh... a lot.

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  42. Oh yeah. This happened to me for about two years after getting someone else's old number. And what the phone company is telling you is total bs. The creditors aren't going anywhere. We finally decided to just get rid of a landlane phone completely. So now someone else is probably getting Gina Morris' debt collection calls.

    (Loved the cartoons!)

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  43. I don't even answer my damn phone anymore. Not even my cell. I don't know how they got my damn cell number, but they did. I refuse to change it because I've had it for so long :( Rat bastards!

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  44. I keep getting letters for the previous residents. Some of them were bills angrily marked in red, one was actually summoning the person to court.

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  45. Why don't you just drop the landline? If you do have to keep it, buy an air horn and next time someone calls for her, say, "Sure, I'll get her..." Then blast the phone and hang up.

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  46. hha really funny, loved the different cartoon style, its catchy

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  47. Under new harrassment laws your can sue creditors for incessant calling. It's one way at least to get them to not call as much....

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  48. I totally had that exact same thing happen to me with Comcast. We ended up getting rid of our home phone service altogether. The only calls we were getting were telemarketers and bill collectors who weren't looking for us. Ugh.

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  49. I think when I got my cell phone it was a recycled number because I keep getting calls randomly at night and what not for a guy named Mike who was a contractor/architect.

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  50. phone answering service is great service for reducing the business time and grow the business. this is effective service for small and large size program.

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