How the Magic Happens!

         Today, as promised, I'm going to talk about the magic process behind the comics you know and love on this blog. Each one is done by hand, and each panel takes me about 10-15 minutes. Also, while you should probably have a nice laser mouse, I draw mine using that stupid little clitoris looking nub that comes on old laptops.
         

       Isn't she adorable?
       So, let's talk MSPaint! For those unfamiliar, this is the generic, very basic drawing program that comes with any Windows computer. It's also the canvas for my questionable artwork. Using simple tools and a little creativity, we can make a brand new character with a full background in 10 easy steps.

Step one: Using the circle tool, draw an oblong football shape for the head, a single oval up top for the eye, and then two circles along the side for the ear. Only worry about one side.

Fill in the eye with the paint can and add a white streak across the top for luster, then use the eraser to carve out the line that defines the ear. If you haven't already, take a sip of your favorite beer, use the rectangular selection tool, and grab the side of your masterpiece like it's going to call the police on you and report you for hitting your spouse.

Copy the selected chunk, paste it, and then flip it. You can now place it on the other side of the face to create evenly placed eyes and ears. Fill it in with your favorite flesh tone (call me racist, but I'm gonna choose white!) and draw a circle in the middle for the nose.

Carve out a small portion of the circle to define the nose, and draw two lines at the bottom for the neck. Inspired by another big gulp of beer, give him a Hitler mustache and giggle to yourself because you're SOOO edgy.

Draw the outline for the hair and the bangs. You should be on your second beer by now. If you aren't, chug-a-lug, Princess Sally. We don't have all day.

Clean up the lines from the face that cut through the hair and fill it in. But... it's missing something, isn't it?

Add texture to the hair with some lines that flow in the same direction as its part. Then draw another oval for the body, take another big drink of beer, and cry a little over the $60,000 college education that brought you here instead of gainful employment.

Feeling feisty? Let's draw in some saggy old lady boobs, a sun dress, and make Hitler look like he's milking himself! This isn't the beer talking, right?

Let's add a background, pound back the last of our 2nd (3rd?) beer, and ask where we would want to put saggy-breasted, self-milking Hitler? I know, a back alley in Harlem!

I don't remember making him say that...

         There you go! You're an artist now. Or drunk. Or both. Enjoy these newfound skills, and use them wisely, my blogging comrades.

Stay classy, friends,
Bryan

Mood: So edgy
Beer: Fat Tire
Shower: Hitler's sure going to need one after all that angry black rape!