Wednesday, April 6, 2011

How the Magic Happens!

         Today, as promised, I'm going to talk about the magic process behind the comics you know and love on this blog. Each one is done by hand, and each panel takes me about 10-15 minutes. Also, while you should probably have a nice laser mouse, I draw mine using that stupid little clitoris looking nub that comes on old laptops.
         

       Isn't she adorable?
       So, let's talk MSPaint! For those unfamiliar, this is the generic, very basic drawing program that comes with any Windows computer. It's also the canvas for my questionable artwork. Using simple tools and a little creativity, we can make a brand new character with a full background in 10 easy steps.
Step one: Using the circle tool, draw an oblong football shape for the head, a single oval up top for the eye, and then two circles along the side for the ear. Only worry about one side.

Fill in the eye with the paint can and add a white streak across the top for luster, then use the eraser to carve out the line that defines the ear. If you haven't already, take a sip of your favorite beer, use the rectangular selection tool, and grab the side of your masterpiece like it's going to call the police on you and report you for hitting your spouse.

Copy the selected chunk, paste it, and then flip it. You can now place it on the other side of the face to create evenly placed eyes and ears. Fill it in with your favorite flesh tone (call me racist, but I'm gonna choose white!) and draw a circle in the middle for the nose.

Carve out a small portion of the circle to define the nose, and draw two lines at the bottom for the neck. Inspired by another big gulp of beer, give him a Hitler mustache and giggle to yourself because you're SOOO edgy.

Draw the outline for the hair and the bangs. You should be on your second beer by now. If you aren't, chug-a-lug, Princess Sally. We don't have all day.

Clean up the lines from the face that cut through the hair and fill it in. But... it's missing something, isn't it?

Add texture to the hair with some lines that flow in the same direction as its part. Then draw another oval for the body, take another big drink of beer, and cry a little over the $60,000 college education that brought you here instead of gainful employment.

Feeling feisty? Let's draw in some saggy old lady boobs, a sun dress, and make Hitler look like he's milking himself! This isn't the beer talking, right?

Let's add a background, pound back the last of our 2nd (3rd?) beer, and ask where we would want to put saggy-breasted, self-milking Hitler? I know, a back alley in Harlem!

I don't remember making him say that...

         There you go! You're an artist now. Or drunk. Or both. Enjoy these newfound skills, and use them wisely, my blogging comrades.

Stay classy, friends,
Bryan

Mood: So edgy
Beer: Fat Tire
Shower: Hitler's sure going to need one after all that angry black rape!

48 comments:

  1. Very good instructions but there better not be a test.

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  2. saggy Hitler tits! Three words I never thought I would use together...

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  3. I'm assuming (hoping) this process will work if I drink vodka instead of beer? Either way I'm sure I will suck at it. But it does give me one more way to waste time at work. Thanks!!!

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  4. Ok, I actually laughed out loud saying "clitoris looking thing" while pointing at my laptop's keyboard. I'm elated, my laptop is embarrassed. Thank you very much for the chuckle.

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  5. This also works when drinking tequila, but Hitler ends up wearing a sombrero, and you may or may not know where your pants are.

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  6. Damn it! I shouldn't have read this right before work. We all know that no amount of gum covers up the smell of five or six beers.

    What? It took me a little longer to finish the drawing than the rest.

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  7. Lovely little insight, I absolutely love your wee MS paint drawings. And I'm not an artist, but I am drunk. Which means it's time to do my blog.

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  8. God I hate it when I lose my pants.

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  9. and there was me thinking you were using shoop or something... I've never had the patience to use paint - this has inspired me to try harder

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  10. You must be godly is you are able to use that shity little nub to anything on a laptop, well done.

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  11. awesome paint skills! I need to work on mine. I know, that's like saying I need to go get better at Wayne Gretzky's 3D Hockey for the N64 (which I am actually the best at in the entire world) - but you get what I'm saying.

    That's a dirty little red button.

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  12. lol thats great!!! haha at the hitler tits.

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  13. Looking at first slide and last slide,never would have imagined that hitler was born from one solar system without sun and y planets and orbits

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  14. I cannot believe you draw those pictures with one of those keyboard clits. I would have blown my brains out if I had to do that.

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  15. I'm so in awe of this and you guys. Talent, talent, talent.

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  16. Only a true artist would create an Hilter with saggy tits. An amateur would be tempted in giving him perking tits and that would not be right!

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  17. I was impressed after step 1. Damn.

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  18. Lmao now I can make my own Hitler comic with tities hahaha

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  19. you should use a drawing pad or w/e that thing is called

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  20. I'm so impressed!!

    I have MS paint, and as you can see from the pictures I draw and post on my blog (e.g. the ones in my About Me), they are FAILURES. Yours are so professional and awesome.

    I guess the fact that you're "tickling the clitoris" helps.

    I mean, according to the chef in Southpark, "FIND THE CLITORIS."

    Guess you found yours. (:

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  21. those are horrendous man boobs

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  22. Awesome stuff. It's inspiring to me, I'm trying to start a bunch of projects and one is a comic so thanks

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  23. It comes with any Windows computer?? I've got to check this mess/MS out. I love your tutorial. So very helpful, indeed.

    Also? Loved that you stopped by my blog again. I am a loser when it comes to keeping up with the good blogs, like yours! I've been missin gme some beer in the shower.

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  24. holy.......right classy eh?
    lol

    sweet how to draw instruction manual :P

    Nice post/blog Following/supporting.

    I'm at
    Limitfears.blogspot.com
    +
    wordslol.blogspot.com
    if you'd like to check me back :D

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  25. HMMMM Fat Tire. Good choice man, good choice.

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  26. You are some kind of wizard!

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  27. You are amazing. I would never have guessed you created these with MSPaint. Crazy.

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  28. haha the weird laptop clit was always strange.
    Your work with MSPaint is always humourous

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  29. That's great! I love seeing a step by step of how stuff is created.

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  30. nice... Hitler and boobies....get me some brain bleach

    i usually get drunk and then...

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  31. "Mein Milchshake bringt alle Jungs in den Garten..oh Ja er ist besser denn deiner!" somehow I don't think it would have been a great hit with German lyrics!

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  32. the clitoris looking mouse ahaha funny.

    you make it seem so easy. i'm sure it's not.

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  33. I am still totally perplexed. It's not your excellent tutorial--just my complete lack of artistic ability. It's on my "to learn" list. Would be fun for the comment section, too! ;)

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  34. Heh, you should buy a drawing pad!

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  35. Over 9,000 hours in Paint... You're way too good to be using MSPaint... you should move on to Illustrator and buy a drawing tablet. It makes working in Photoshop and Illustrator way more fun and easier on the carpal tunnel... I hope you guys had a good honeymoon. I fully support same-sex marriages... but why did you guys have to ruin the rainbow for me???

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  36. Who needs art school when i have this? :D

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  37. whoa! he can hold on to that milkshake

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  38. I use Paint all the time for editing animation frames for an old computer game. It's fun, eh? :P

    I agree with the others, you should upgrade to something else. But still keep doing the "low end" drawrings just for the hell of it.

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  39. How the hell can you draw ANYTHING with that stupid little red button? I remember wanting to throw my laptop out the window when I was stuck with that thing

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  40. I love the tutorial. I use MSpaint for finishing off a drawing. I usually scribble it in pencil, biro over it and either take a photo on my phone and mail to myself or scan it. Paint works relly well, especially in magnifier mode. I'm going to have to have a go at doing a cartoon from scratch though now.

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