Friday, February 11, 2011

I Like to Blow Things Up

           First off, I want to thank everyone for their genuine concern over my last post about making money on the Internet. While I like to make a little extra cash through side jobs as much as the next guy, I'm not actually in danger of starving or losing my house, I was mainly looking to see how I could make a few extra dollars here and there. There's just something so freeing about being able to spend my time writing, and doing whatever else I like to do when I just lounge around the house in my unemployment uniform. But I appreciate the concern, and I assure you, if I ever need help, I know who to ask.
          Speaking of writing, today's post is about how I write and what inspires me. See, when I write a novel, my mind paints a picture and I just kind of describe what I see. Similar to a movie, there are a lot of elements to this process. I need a screenplay, aka a story that is original and isn't godawful. I need to be a director, to be able to place everything in a setting and set the flow of the story... without raping the plot. And most importantly, I need a set of characters, and I need to be those characters... almost like an actor. Also, I have to be careful with my actors, otherwise they may end up like this.
           My inspiration to create all of this, lately, is video games. Something about taking yourself into another world and controlling what happens relates to what I do as a writer. For my latest novel, in which a sarcastic slacker finds a magical gateway to a medieval fantasy land, I've been playing 2 games: Assassin's Creed 2 and World of Warcraft.
            I know, I know, World of Warcraft: what some see as a nerd's virginal paradise. I was skeptical at first, but my fiance the closet gamer got me on board, and frankly, it's a blast.
           There's a lot of elements to the game...  as I've been told, angrily, on many, many occasions... but I haven't explored any of them. You can enter guilds and build your reputation with others. You can join your friends on 'raids', where you team up and utilize all of your skills together to beat a difficult boss. You can train professions and craft items out of basic materials.
            Me? I just like to blow shit up.
            In a nutshell, I'm a big retarded moose-owl-bear (seriously, this is my character, it's called a boomkin, not to be confused with a manbearpig, which is equally dangerous), and I run around blowing shit up with magic. What's more, it solves every problem this game can possibly throw at me.
            There's a guard in my way and he won't let me through to the castle? Blow his ass up. Now a dragon's trying to set fire to my owl costume? Blow that shit up into next Tuesday. And now things have calmed down, and there's some kind of rare and beautiful mythical creature that no man has ever seen before, that we should probably extract carefully and study for the future benefit of science? Fuck that, give him the Michael Bay treatment. Ka-boom!
           All of this, and I'm as entertained as a special needs kid locked in a Chuck E. Cheese. The problem? I've gotten a ton of inspiration to write my new novel, which I'm slowly pecking away at... but I get so sucked up into blowing shit up that once I'm done gaming, my whole day is gone, I haven't eaten or slept, and I look like Lindsay Lohan (on a good day).
           So my goal for the next week is to get me away from the computer and the XBox 360 (don't get me started on Assassin's Creed 2, in which you can not only backstab evil politicians, you can also fistfight an 80 year old woman just to say you did), and get back into writing. I'll do this on Monday, when I plan on posting the first and only short story I've ever written, for you guys to massacre with constructive criticism, about a spineless cubicle worker who finds a vortex to another dimension behind his bookshelf.
            In the meanwhile... time to blow some more shit up.

Stay classy, friends,

Mood: Retardedly happy
Beer: Red Stripe
Shower: No time for that! I've got monsters to nuke!

Next year's Halloween costume? Yeah, if I want a plush wedgie.


  1. Boomkins are fun :)
    So is wow, if it doesn't interfere too much with your normal life play is as much as your time allows :)

    Oh and haven't tried AC 2 yet!

  2. Moonkin awesomeness. Who doesn't like to blow things up?

    World of Warcraft Cheats@

  3. i laughed so many times reading have an interesting way of writing novels, hopefully it turns out good!

  4. Never tried WoW..Ac2 was good though. Got pretty annoyed with the canals in Venice though, they always seemed to be between me and my goal.

  5. the best thing is to go cold turkey on World of Warcraft... i knew it was time to cut it off when i played for 8 hours straight. sad. Good luck with your writing!

  6. What would I write about?
    Kids stories- they always sell:) [Dinos, Unicorns,Bunny, ??]
    Vampires - Teens love.
    Self-help - all losers.
    Diet - definitely a hit rite?
    I am going to think now

  7. Bruce is a xbox 360 GRAW player so I can so relate. Have fun. While you guys blow up people I will drink more Heinekens.

  8. blowing things up makes me smile inside
    come support yourself at -> Motivational confessions

  9. I'll be looking forward to your short story. For mean time blow up everything with moonfire! LOL

  10. Blowing shit up is among my favorite aspects of life... oh, and in video games hehe. *kicks m80's under desk*

  11. Trying to get anywhere in a video game (especially an mmo) while trying to do anything else in real life usually doesn't work. They're mutually exclusive. My only tip is to never play minecraft. You will never escape.

  12. balance and moderation...and then blow shit up~
    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

  13. Video games can be such a time waste but they are so damn fun @_@

  14. Good luck with not gaming for a couple of days!

    Nothing like blowin' shit up for the hell of it!
    Works for me.

    Anyhow, I hope you make some steady progress on the writing end of your plans for the next couple of days.


  15. Never played World of Warcraft. I've never really had a computer that could play anything more complex than solitaire. Love me some Assassins Creed though, jumping off a ledge and just stabbing one in a video game is just way too awesome.

  16. Blowing shit up is a great stress reliever :)

  17. Ah! I miss my Doomkin! They're so much fun. :D

  18. This is exactly why I won't buy my son an xbox. Unplug. Leave in locked closet. Forget where you left the key. And start slaying your monsters!

  19. I like blowing things up too! If they go Squawk or Squeal while I'm at it and leave behind a puddle of something messy, it's even better!

  20. Yay for blowing things up. I'm not much of a gamer but in the Super Smash Bros Brawl I love to suck things up because Kirdy and Yoshi are my favorite characters to play in that game.

    But blowing shit up is just as awesome.

    The Adorkable Ditz' Missteps