Great News/My Mother the Dream Crusher

          First off, the detox was a huge success, in which my body and mind now feel 100% better than they did before. The last day of detox was touch and go--there was a hostage situation involving this innocent bystander, who escaped with only minor injuries--but after all was said and done, I feel like a better person for having done it. Also, what better way to get back to the foods I love than with a little good news that came this morning by e-mail, which I am happy to announce tonight via blog.
           

            Thanks to a connection from the very awesome Lynne over at Bits of Paper and Glue, we got in touch with the editor-in-chief over at NoTeS Magazine, who's been looking for a humorous male perspective column. We 'auditioned' for the part (is that what writers do? Hell, I don't know), and our collaborative piece was so well received that she wants it in the upcoming edition! We are now official columnists at NoTeS, and will be writing a regular column from the first person fictional perspective of a homeless writer. Check out their site, and we'll keep you updated when issues become available!
             http://NotesAndGraceNotes.com
             Now, of course this is something to be excited about... to be proud over, right? So, I did what I do when I always get great news about my life, I called my mother.
             God, what a fucking idiot I am.
             My mom is a saint of a woman. She's been great to me for my 27 years on this earth, and I love her very much. With that said, she doesn't know much about the writing business. And she's pessimistic. Painfully pessimistic.
             I'm trying something new today, so in an effort to convey what happened during my phone conversation, I'm using poorly drawn MSPaint comic strips I created myself. The following is real dialogue.

In my unemployment uniform

 

 

          I know she's happy for me deep down. She's just pretty set on thinking that writing can never be a full time, high paying career.

Fun fact: at one time she wanted me to grow up to be this.

Instead I became this. With a pen. And she's slowly coming to show her pride in my career as a beer-drinking writer. :-)

Stay classy, friends,

Bryan

Mood: Underappreciated

Beer: Red Stripe

Shower: I can't tell where the tears stop and the water begins