Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Great News/My Mother the Dream Crusher

          First off, the detox was a huge success, in which my body and mind now feel 100% better than they did before. The last day of detox was touch and go--there was a hostage situation involving this innocent bystander, who escaped with only minor injuries--but after all was said and done, I feel like a better person for having done it. Also, what better way to get back to the foods I love than with a little good news that came this morning by e-mail, which I am happy to announce tonight via blog.
           
            Thanks to a connection from the very awesome Lynne over at Bits of Paper and Glue, we got in touch with the editor-in-chief over at NoTeS Magazine, who's been looking for a humorous male perspective column. We 'auditioned' for the part (is that what writers do? Hell, I don't know), and our collaborative piece was so well received that she wants it in the upcoming edition! We are now official columnists at NoTeS, and will be writing a regular column from the first person fictional perspective of a homeless writer. Check out their site, and we'll keep you updated when issues become available!
             http://NotesAndGraceNotes.com
             Now, of course this is something to be excited about... to be proud over, right? So, I did what I do when I always get great news about my life, I called my mother.
             God, what a fucking idiot I am.
             My mom is a saint of a woman. She's been great to me for my 27 years on this earth, and I love her very much. With that said, she doesn't know much about the writing business. And she's pessimistic. Painfully pessimistic.
             I'm trying something new today, so in an effort to convey what happened during my phone conversation, I'm using poorly drawn MSPaint comic strips I created myself. The following is real dialogue.

In my unemployment uniform






          I know she's happy for me deep down. She's just pretty set on thinking that writing can never be a full time, high paying career.

Fun fact: at one time she wanted me to grow up to be this.

Instead I became this. With a pen. And she's slowly coming to show her pride in my career as a beer-drinking writer. :-)

Stay classy, friends,
Bryan

Mood: Underappreciated
Beer: Red Stripe
Shower: I can't tell where the tears stop and the water begins
            
            
        

51 comments:

  1. That's awesome! The job part, not so much the mother part.
    Wait a second... is that jesus wearing sunglasses?

    ReplyDelete
  2. hey, if you're unemployed, how come you're dressed up all fancy in them pics?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Congratulations on the magazine gig, mothers you got to love them, you're lucky you've not got an Irish mother or that conversation would have went worse:D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congratulations to both of you! How exciting and well deserved! :)

    I'm guessing by the sunglasses crucifix and her former desire for you to become a pedophile that she's Catholic. Mine is as well but minus the church going because apparently that's an American thing, Brazilians don't go to church all the time.

    Seriously, she actually said that.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's kind of hard for non-writers to totally get the whole writing thang. I try to explain it to family and friends sometimes, and I get either laughed at or questioning looks.

    My mom is perhaps the worst. My family has a summer house on the beach, and a whole collection of aunts, uncles, and cousins were there together. As everyone schlepped over to the beach except for me, one of my aunts asked my mother why I was staying at the house instead. My mother said, "Oh, she's 'wriiiiiiting' ... haha, someday Katie will decide what she wants to be when she grows up."

    I started to feel all self-righteous and do the whole, "First, I'm a teacher, so I do have a 'grown-up' job. Secondly, I write for a fairly serious women's issues site. That's a 'writing job'." Then I decided that she just wouldn't get it. Oh well ...

    And I guess sitting at home in such a lovely unemployment uniform is one of the perks ;) They say there's an upside for everything ...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, and congrats .... totally forgot the most important part of my comment :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Notes is a great magazine and Harmoni is a wonderful woman! Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Pretty funny stuff, congrats on the new gig.

    ReplyDelete
  9. My mom wants me to be a nurse like every Filipino but you got to do what you love man :D

    ReplyDelete
  10. good news anyone. i love it. i'll follow this. i take it u must of heard that song beer in the shower. it has bag pipes in it. its pretty awesome. u can write about me in your columns if you want. i just like seeing my name in public places.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "That's nice that you have a hobby."

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sigh. you have to love 'em, and they do love you, but they're unlikely to appreciate your doing anything that doesn't pay a million bucks, set you up for life and so on. Here's hoping you guys do get set up for life and make a million bucks - with writing!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Congratulations on the new job, I have friends that write - poetry, songs, novels - and getting noticed can be hell. It's good you had some friends to help.

    And I can understand your mom's mindset; mine wanted me to get into something artsy (first Architecture, than Culinary Arts), and it took her a long time to et over the fact that I went into IT. Well, a year or so, anyway :P

    Of course, had I gone her way, I'd have been a lot worse off, so you should consider that.

    It's good that you're following your passion both personally and professionally. You are living the dream, she just doesn't quite realise it yet.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Mom's have a way of taking good news and turning it to shit. I just hope I don't do that to my kids.

    ReplyDelete
  15. congrats. as a guy that would also love to be a writer and get paid, i could be jealous but instead i am very happy for youz guyz!!!!

    ...cuz that is what it is all about!

    besides, you guys write a great blog, and really, that is what it is all about, getting appreciated for the work you do...

    and by appreciated i mean paid!

    congrats again!

    Bruce
    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    dreamodeling!
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

    ReplyDelete
  16. Enjoy your success on your own! Like the blog. lol at Al Roker picture.

    ReplyDelete
  17. congratulations on your job.
    sorry to say, but your mom is bitch :/

    ReplyDelete
  18. Haha. That sounds like my mother but congratulations all the same.

    ReplyDelete
  19. you should read Charles Bukowski 'Women'

    hope you'll like it

    ReplyDelete
  20. My mom does this underhandedly. Oh that's really nice. You're working so hard. So...when are you going to get a real job?....

    Sigh.

    Congrats to you both though! Well deserved.

    visions unto myself

    ReplyDelete
  21. man I'm stoked for you guys... well done, and well deserved!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Congrats to both of you. I'm very happy for you both and would gladly give you the motherly enthusiasm you deserve. I'm so proud of you and I knew you could do it. You had it in you all along. Hugs to you!!! Can't wait to read it.

    ReplyDelete
  23. WOOP WOOP! CONGRATS HOMIE! I will get shitfaced in your honor tonight! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Keep up the great work. You're well on your way. Good job. Don't stop.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I wish I could say I've never been in that "telling parents" good new, but alas! BTW...love the cartoons and congrats on the gig!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well I for one support your writing career! and I wish you the best in all your endeavors! :D!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Does that guy have pit stains? Or just really dark, big, off-centered nipples?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Heh, nice paint comic! Good luck with your job.

    ReplyDelete
  29. You have done well grasshoppers!!
    (so damn proud and happy for you.. have no fear Lynnie the underdog is always near).
    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Awesome for you and Brandon. Your mom will warm up to the new job eventually.

    The Adorkable Ditz' Missteps

    ReplyDelete
  31. Great news. Also, I think every blog post should be done in the form of a cartoon from now on. That is the most awesome thing that I've ever seen.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sounds like a pretty sweet gig, kudos to you guys. Way to show the world that there's nothing wrong with being a writer who likes to drink n write - in fact, it's one of the few jobs still socially acceptable to do while drinkin'.

    If I drank at work, I'd inevitably violate the FDCPA on a catastrophic level (which is easy enough to do while sober), and I'd probably have a few lawsuits on my hands.

    ReplyDelete
  33. You guys are fantastic, so I've linked and given you an award. =)
    http://phantasosplayground.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  34. Thanks for your comment on my blog and I love your writing style+pictures! And congrats on the new job.

    (:

    ReplyDelete
  35. congrats for the job..And the cartoon is cute.

    Make up a language hereafter maybe like mom-language where
    1.writer-translation would be scientist and 2.paycheck-translation would be nobel prize and 3.vacation in garage - would be businesstravel to France.
    Mom- you cant live with them, you cant live without them..

    ReplyDelete
  36. I'm, glad you got the job!

    However, imagine you became a priest haha :D

    ReplyDelete
  37. lol the best part of this post is the framed picture of clint eastwood, so manly

    ReplyDelete
  38. Don't worry, I don't listen to her either

    ReplyDelete
  39. It's very motivational to see another writer achieve success, congratulations! How long did those pictures take you in MS paint?

    ReplyDelete
  40. You have your mother's nose. Also, I love that you guys are sharing a blog too. And according to your post about how you met in church, I'd say you can call yourselves brothers in God/Zombie-Jesus ... ;) - Ash

    ReplyDelete
  41. 1. Yay! I didn't see any other overly girly yays given so...yay.

    2. Mom's are put on this earth to hug really well, cook really well and motivate us to work harder to impress them by either not giving us compliments or giving them back-handedly.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Mothers and sons just don't speak the same language. That's all.

    ReplyDelete