Us? Busy? Who Knew?

Today we've got a special treat for you. It's the A Beer for the Shower take on one of our favorite old nursery rhymes. We call it Jack and Jill (and Zombies). Enjoy.

Jack and Jill went to the still,

To fetch a pail of liquor.

Jack got drunk and suddenly thunk

How much he’d like to stick ‘er.

Jack grabbed his sister and tried to kiss her

But fell in a vat of whiskey

Poor Jack drowned in an ocean of Crown

Proving incest is always quite risky

Jill staggered home feeling very alone

But the man in the vat wasn’t gone

Dead Jack climbed out and staggered about

Feeling hungry for brains to om nom nom

Jack did search, and home he did lurch,

Seeking out Jill’s sweet noggin;

She was in bed, with her big tasty head,

Snoring like lumberjacks loggin'.

 When Jack came in how he did grin

For a brain parfait from his mademoiselle,

But Jill’s shotgun blast to his undead ass

Blew zombie Jack straight to hell.

THE END

There you have it. An instant classic with which to put the kids to bed. Remember children, no matter how drunk you may be, it's always handy to keep a twelve gauge Remington under your pillow in case of the zombie apocalypse. Oh, and don't feel up your siblings.

In other non-incest related news, we'll soon be launching a Kickstarter campaign to help fund production of A Beer for the Shower: The Animated Series, because apparently a high quality animated series takes more than $18.32 (our bank accounts. Combined) to make happen. We're really looking forward to it, and will keep you posted when the campaign goes live. Lots of fun prizes up for grabs. "Slave-labor Brandon" may or may not be one of them.

Cheers and stay classy, friends,

B&B

Beer: Breckenridge Vanilla Porter
Music: Tedeschi Trucks Band

- Old Post -

 Today's post is a shortie but a goodie subpar...ie. Both of us have been extremely busy (I know, who knew?) but as a tease, I can assure you that I have a great story coming soon. For you see, my soon to be brother in law is in town, the retardedly rich one, and as he has no car, I'm officially his chauffeur. Because he's also the type to work on his computer programs until he goes unconscious, I am proud to say that today I (no joke) bought this 32 year old man a box of Lucky Charms in the hopes that he would actually feed himself. Apparently it worked. He's an interesting cat with a lot of enemies (and a big ass bodyguard to prove it), so my job as driver has been, well, interesting as hell.
           What I've told you so far is genuinely real. The story to come... well, there's probably going to be pirates and ninjas and deadly female Russian spies with boobs so big they qualify as weapons. But what else is an overactive imagination supposed to do when I've been driving to Qdoba and King Soopers all day?
            Also, as my last thought, I imagine that one of these days I'm going to encounter something absolutely magnificient that's 100% real... and you guys are never going to believe a bit of it.
            But fuck it. This is too much fun.

Stay classy, friends,
Bryan