Today we've got a special treat for you. It's the A Beer for the Shower take on one of our favorite old nursery rhymes. We call it Jack and Jill (and Zombies). Enjoy.
Jack and Jill went to the still,
To fetch a pail of liquor.
Jack got drunk and suddenly thunk
How much he’d like to stick ‘er.
Jack grabbed his sister and tried to kiss her
But fell in a vat of whiskey
Poor Jack drowned in an ocean of Crown
Proving incest is always quite risky
Jill staggered home feeling very alone
But the man in the vat wasn’t gone
Dead Jack climbed out and staggered about
Feeling hungry for brains to om nom nom
Jack did search, and home he did lurch,
Seeking out Jill’s sweet noggin;
She was in bed, with her big tasty head,
Snoring like lumberjacks loggin'.
When Jack came in how he did grin
For a brain parfait from his mademoiselle,
But Jill’s shotgun blast to his undead ass
Blew zombie Jack straight to hell.
There you have it. An instant classic with which to put the kids to bed. Remember children, no matter how drunk you may be, it's always handy to keep a twelve gauge Remington under your pillow in case of the zombie apocalypse. Oh, and don't feel up your siblings.
In other non-incest related news, we'll soon be launching a Kickstarter campaign to help fund production of A Beer for the Shower: The Animated Series, because apparently a high quality animated series takes more than $18.32 (our bank accounts. Combined) to make happen. We're really looking forward to it, and will keep you posted when the campaign goes live. Lots of fun prizes up for grabs. "Slave-labor Brandon" may or may not be one of them.
Cheers and stay classy, friends,
Beer: Breckenridge Vanilla Porter
Music: Tedeschi Trucks Band
- Old Post -
Today's post is a shortie but a
What I've told you so far is genuinely real. The story to come... well, there's probably going to be pirates and ninjas and deadly female Russian spies with boobs so big they qualify as weapons. But what else is an overactive imagination supposed to do when I've been driving to Qdoba and King Soopers all day?
Also, as my last thought, I imagine that one of these days I'm going to encounter something absolutely magnificient that's 100% real... and you guys are never going to believe a bit of it.
But fuck it. This is too much fun.
Stay classy, friends,