Thursday, January 13, 2011

Spontaneity: The Spice of Life

            Today I am on day 4 of my black eye, day 6 of under 50 degree weather, day 15 of having no money, and day 43 of being unemployed. Yet another calm, quiet day of staying in with a good book, a warm cup of coffee, and my laptop.
            In other words… I am fucking stir crazy.
            I love having more time to write, more time to blog, and more time to catch up on hilarious Youtube videos (see previous post about getting sucked into the Internet), but being cooped up in the house is not very fun. I think I’m becoming delusional, seeing things. I’ve considered dressing up the cat. I might even start cutting my own hair. 
            So what is a guy to do, when he’s got a remnant of a black eye, it’s 40 degrees outside, and he has no money, AKA nowhere to go?
            The answer: get creative. The following are the top 5 things I've done to stave off boredom.

    
1. Dig up old video games.

            I pulled out all of my old video games, ranging from the original “blow on this cartridge to get it to work” Nintendo, all the way to my “what kind of retarded controller is this?” N64. Meli and I have rekindled our love of old games, and we’ve also rediscovered our 6 year age difference through such wonderful questions as "who’s Dig Dug?" and "what the fuck is a Battletoad?"


            Dig Dug, to clarify, is a guy in a space suit drilling through the earth and pumping up monsters with his phallic looking bicycle pump, AKA one of the greatest games ever, especially when you get into 2 player mode, stick that pump into your fiance’s head, and then detonate that fat watermelon like Gallagher at a farmer’s market.

2. Go running with the dog.
             
            I go running with my Italian greyhound, the scrawny yet muscly little pup that has so much energy to burn he makes me tired just looking at him. He’s wildly overfed, but he looks like the holocaust in dog form. When he’s not pulling me off of my running shoes, he does a great Captain Morgan impersonation.

                                        
3. Surprise dance party

            At random intervals in the day, regardless if music is playing or not, I like to break into a one man dance party. Meli loves hates this. I can do the Sprinkler, the Lawnmower, the Shopping Cart, and all of the old classics, but the one I can do the best is the Carlton, which Meli especially loves hates. Or the rainbow chicken dance, which will earn you bonus points if you have actual drumsticks in your hand at the time.

4. Try out some exciting new recipes

            My house has not yet blown up, but we’ve discovered some great, low cost recipes that still look like they were prepared by a professional chef. Plus, it’s nice to know that if my wonderful fiancé ever dumps me, I can still cook for myself.

5. Grow a Hitler mustache

What better way to stave off boredom than to grow the most infamous mustache in history? This could never hurt my image if my writing one day takes off, and I become a famous author. Besides, it worked for Michael Jordan, so why not for me?

How do you guys fight boredom?

-Bryan

Mood: Entertained
Beer: Cheap college kid beer
Shower: Not big enough to Carlton in, but goddammit, I'm still gonna


35 comments:

  1. Sports and drunk texting old girlfriends come to mind as good pastimes.

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  2. i say switch it up a bit - draw a hitler 'tache on your fiancee, make the dog break into spontaneous dance, have michael jordan play your video games, and get hitler to try out some new recipes in the kitchen.

    what fun!

    actually, maybe scratch that last one. hitler prolly shouldn't be in charge of the ovens again.

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  3. i kinda like the ten am drunken dart games...

    i never remember the rules but i remember how much fun it is throwing pointed things and being drunk...

    Bruce
    bruce johnson jadip
    evilbruce
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    Bruce’s guy book
    the guy book
    Dreamodel Guy
    dreamodeling!

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  4. You have the coolest dog ever.

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  5. Well, if you are looking for a new challenge you can learn the Tom Cruise (before he was a freeze dried wackaloon) Risky Business dance......

    Love your dog! Looks like he's got a little Captain in him....

    For me personally I stave off boredom by...wait...I don't stave off boredom. Maybe I should take some of your suggestions. *grin*

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  6. I am so bored right now. Good thing I am reading some suggestions.

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  7. oh yeah... igave you guys an award...


    stop by and pick it up or whatever

    Bruce
    bruce johnson jadip
    evilbruce
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    Bruce’s guy book
    the guy book
    Dreamodel Guy
    dreamodeling!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I sit and write blogs and then read about 100 other blogs that I follow. If I only got paid for it!

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  9. Play the flute, blog, watch TV, and depending on who I'm with I'll play an occasional video game or watch movies...I'm really boring...oh and I read!

    your dog is little Captain Morgan! That's cute. Cam Man calls me that all the time :P

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com

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  10. The Carlton is the BEST DANCE EVER! Well, that and the "Dance of Joy" from Perfect Strangers... but you need a partner for that.

    I've been unemployed for *gasp* over a year now. I watch waaaay too much tv, facebook, and blog. I've also taken up random projects around the house that clearly DID NOT need to be started. Painting the kitchen RED, pulling up old linolyum (no clue how to spell that), and even an attempt at fixing the furnace (Epic fail).

    So... you're guess is as good as mine when it comes to avoiding Cabin Fever :)

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  11. And I apologize for using the wrong YOUR. Pet peeve of mine. Sorry!

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  12. At least you're still working your brain and body

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  13. Ahh yes... I myself am in the need of some employment >.>" although getting paid to write would be pretty damn awesome! ...though i guess i'm just an average writer v.v

    anyways, here's my blog in case anyone's interested: http://lifeofbaron.blogspot.com/ just random posts about things i find interesting. I'm hoping to increase my writing skills etc. with it... which i already see it's doing hehe :3

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  14. I love pulling out my old video games and playing them again :)

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  15. Dig Doug, "One Man with a pump!"
    I was told by a guy once that when you have nothing to do the cure is to try and stay aswake for as long as possible. Then your life becomes concentrated on this one task as it gets harder and harder. Never giving in. it gives you purpose, even if that purpose is to just stay awake. It makes you feel alive.

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  16. really liked your ideas
    i eat when im bored

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  17. Dig Dug was brilliant and the hitler mustache, used to be a chef, my dogs hate me and had to google Carlton.

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  18. fun post there man. when i'm bored i listen to karl pilkington. P.S. New Follower

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  19. Great list! I'll be sure to reference it when I've got nothing to do :)

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  20. I will usually blog, talk to my dogs or get made fun of by the wii avatars when I try and do the just dance.

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  21. Great post!
    Looks like you've got a system going there - love the moustache part - good project!

    Jenny
    (found you through Bruce over at stupid stuff...)

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  22. nice blog, just subbed to it.

    Make sure to follow mine at thewatchfanatic.blogspot.com

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  23. Funny thing is I have a mustache and play dig dug frequently. win?

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  24. Hey cool page, as per the circle arrangement, I am following you and visiting daily, would you be so kind as to do the same for me? If anyone else wants the same just follow me and I'll follow you:

    http://illuminatinwo.blogspot.com

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  25. Oh I know that feeling.. a few yrs ago I was laid off (got work 2 wks later) but..
    I too rekindled my friendship with Sonic the hedgehog, danced to fracken Calle Ocho every day, and ate the "ugly" food in the house.

    Cheer up, you will be back to work and missin g all of your Top "5's"!!!!

    (

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  26. Ha just read your comment on my latest scrbble.. please, anytime you read something outta whack, TELL ME.. I can take it..told ya been hanging with the urban boys and they bought me a flak vest:-)

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  27. Very entertaining. I'll have to try some of these this summer.

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  28. Hey man thanks for following me!

    I will be sure to check back on your blog daily!

    Anyone who wants to follow me I will follow them back and check their blogs daily!

    http://illuminatinwo.blogspot.com

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  29. cute dog.
    i prefer to blast the music outta my speakers. I haven't gotten an ASBO yet....maybe my neighbors like heavy metal....

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