I believe it was the Dalai Lama that said: "We should not seek revenge on those who have committed crimes against us, or reply to their crimes with other crimes. We should reflect that by the law of karma, they are in danger of lowly and miserable lives to come, and that our duty to them, as to every being, is to help them to rise towards Nirvana, rather than let them sink to lower levels of rebirth."
To which I say... fuck that.
The family next door has always hated us, and a few days ago, we found out why. They want to buy our townhouse. No, our townhouse is not and has never been for sale, and no, this fact does not seem important to our dear neighbors.
See, this family, who likes to play the ever popular suburbian game of oneupsmanship, has saved a small fortune to invest in OUR townhouse when they presumably evict us, by yelling at us, belittling us, calling the police on us, and by waking up at 6 in the morning and revving the engine on their crappy little wannabe kit car with no mufflers to wake us up. Their ultimate plan, once we're gone, is to knock down the walls in between, form some sort of retarded townhouse castle, and be the kings of suburbia.
I wish I was joking.
So this weekend I'm spending some time plotting my neighborly revenge. Any and all suggestions are welcome, preferably the legal kind, to help me exact this revenge... because I am not selling my house, I'm not going to be fucked with, and there's only room for 1 king in this goddamn castle.
Oh, and if you want to read more about my asshole neighbors/crappy neighborhood, read my first ever blog post, which gives you a good idea of the dumbfuckery we deal with on a daily basis.
Beer: Sam Adams
Shower: Not quite as hot as my boiling blood
|"La la la I can't hear common sense from up here" - the neighbor|