Saturday, January 1, 2011

Another Year of Blogging, Drinking, and Glorious Incompetence

            Brandon and I would have blogged yesterday, but we were engaged in a series of business related meetings, aka drinking ourselves retarded in the spirit of New Years. We (and a few close friends) hit up a couple bars and had some food, some beers, and some laughs to ring in 2011. Also, similar to Paris Hilton’s typical New Years, we took my small Audi and found out how many men could be crammed inside. The answer, by the way, is 4 men and 2 women, which unfortunately, is only on par with a Paris Hilton weekday. I was given the role of DD, something I’m no stranger to, since I have the alcohol tolerance of a 300 lb Irishman, minus the heft, the high cholesterol, and the slurring, unintelligible brogue (my slurring, unintelligible dialect is one of perfect English). It was a blast, even if my liver took only a fraction of the beating everyone else’s did.
            So now that it’s a new year, what does 2011 hold in store for either of us? To be honest, I have no idea. It could be the year of my first million, it could be the year I grow that white guy afro I’ve wanted for so long, or it could be the year I get gout. Who the hell knows?
             All I know is that this is the year I try something new. I need something other than the clichéd 9-5 job. Perhaps I’ll breed exotic panda cows. At $30k a pop, it seems pretty lucrative. Maybe I can mass market a stupid and sexually ambiguous workout fad. Or maybe I can extort money from those smaller than I. Whatever I end up doing, I hope you guys will join me and keep me company along the way.
            So have a Happy New Year, and enjoy coming up with the half-assed, peer pressure inspired resolutions that you’ll give up mid February. Me – I’ll give up drinking next year…


Mood: Hopeful
Beer: Buttface Red Amber Ale
Shower: Much needed after 7 hours of drinking


  1. I vote for the beating up children while dressed as a ninja option.

  2. the dolly parton song came on in my head when i read "9-5"

  3. Lol, nice blog! Love the sarcasm :)

    And your comment was dead on as well.

  4. We only could wait to see what this year unfolds! Happy New Year :D

  5. lol that shake weight is awesome
    you should sell those man i will buy

  6. haha, cool blog man!

  7. Shaking panda calves. Why compromise?

  8. That's a lot of money for a cow. How hard can animal husbandry be, anyway?

  9. Hahah!! Too funy you are.. Now you could sell fake Rolexs?

  10. I can't wait to see what this year will bring either. I'll keep an eye out for those panda cows.

  11. If you do get a white guy afro, post it on here!