Before I get started, let me say that Brandon’s super power of involuntary diarrhea by telekinesis is brilliant. What he failed to mention, though, was that in that party scenario, if the moderately attractive girl shuts you down, the coup de grace would be sending her off with a parting gift of smeared mascara and slimy brown legwarmers. Who’s not interesting enough now, huh?
Also, if I had to pick my own super power, it’d either be spontaneous ejaculation or the gift of impulsive Down syndrome. At any moment, any person within a 10 ft radius of me could turn into Corky from Life Goes On… or revert back. Think how interesting life would be. While I may never be able to finish that conversation with Brandon about the devolution of mainstream literature, I would quickly learn that he likes seahorses, wants a cheeseburger, and can fit his whole fist in his mouth. Just be careful not to couple that together with the spontaneous ejaculation super power. God help us all.
Anyway, today’s entry is about how apparently this whole blogging thing works. After my tirade on the idiocy/rudeness of a certain tire store, Tires Plus got in contact with me and had us bring the car in. They realigned the entire thing for free (it was completely off from being aligned to a different model year), reprimanded the guy who was rude to us, gave us a few free oil changes (I change my own oil, but whatever, free is free), and they’re giving us $300 off a new pair of snow tires. Oh, and we were profusely apologized to, to the point of wondering when the manager would just drop to his knees and kiss my snow-crusted sneakers.
So I have to say I’m pleased with how he handled things, and in the future, we’ll consider going back to them… and not just for the free oil. However, let it be known that if I did, and I had the aforementioned super powers, I’d still utilize them, especially on the guy who was unnecessarily rude. Because say what you will, but a free alignment, free oil changes, and money off new tires is nothing compared to the entertainment value of a room full of spontaneously ejaculating tards.
Stay classy, friends.
Beer: Pitcher of Colorado Native, shared with Brandon
Shower: Nice and warm… and not shared with Brandon