Thursday, December 16, 2010

Fly Like a G6 (Sedan)

            So I personally think it’s lame when people get on a blog and rip a company to shreds, using such wonderful buzzwords as ‘ridiculous and ‘unacceptable,’ over something as small as taking 5 minutes too long or forgetting the extra sugar in their coffee. They whine, and they bitch, and they make it sound like it was the worst thing to ever happen to them.
            With that said… fuck you, Tires Plus, and the 3 wheeled horse you rode awkwardly in on.
            Meli has been going there for years with little complaints, for her summer and winter tires. The summer tires have great tread, and the winters, which they bagged up and handed back to us 6 months ago, were said to have one more season on them. So I called to get an appointment for our 2005 Infiniti G35. The guy says, “Uh, you mean the 2007 Infiniti G35? That’s what we have on file.” In retrospect, I should have seen that this was foreshadowing for what was to come. Her car is not a 2007, but whatever. Small potatoes. So regardless, I snagged an early morning appointment so that we could swap out the tires and milk out that final season we were promised (and to get an alignment).
            What we got… was glorious, glorious incompetence.
            We dropped off the car, as scheduled, at 9 AM. Later, at around 2 PM, we got a call that we assumed was it being done. It was not. The guy informed us the snow tires were so worn they couldn’t possibly be used, and apparently it took 5 hours of standing around scratching their nuts and poking the tires with sticks to figure this out, much as a chimpanzee or a cluster of special needs children might do.
            We came in, and I’ll admit, 2 of the tires looked like shit. They were worn to the bone. This, however, was not cool because they told us 6 months ago that these exact tires would be good for another season, and looking at them, they wouldn’t have been fit for a tire fire. So put the good 2 on the back wheels and call it good, I say.
            We can’t do that, the tech says, because this is an all wheel drive vehicle.
            Swing and a miss.
            No, I say. It’s rear wheel drive. But no matter what I say, the tech insists it’s all wheel drive. He even glances under the car and ‘verifies’ with a quick nod that it’s all wheel drive. “See?” he says. “All wheel drive.” Maybe he looked under there and saw what he thought was the ‘Hi, this is all wheel drive!’ sticker, because the car is clearly rear wheel drive and this man is clearly an idiot. As an avid car enthusiast, as a guy who drives his cars hard and loves to get the back end swung out, and oh yes, as a man with an IQ over 75 who can read the manual that says ‘2005 INFINITI G35 SEDAN REAR WHEEL DRIVE’, I’m pretty sure of my argument. He won’t have it. Exasperated, I just tell him to put the regular tires back on.
            This takes another 2 hours, and then we get a call from the same guy telling us that our G6 is ready. Not only did our car become all wheel drive, but it’s a Pontiac now? Fuck me! Better not bring in my Audi. It might leave as a rear wheel drive Kia.
            We went to pick it up, and they handed us the papers that showed it was aligned to proper specifications… for a 2007 Infiniti G35. At this point, well, you’ve got to be kidding me. The specifications are still close enough to be on par with a 2005, or so they say, but as we tore out of there, the only thing I could think of is that we need a new tire place. And no amount of showering/beer can restore the IQ points I lost dealing with their staff.
            Was this the worst thing to ever happen in my life? No. But as a guy who only works on cars for a hobby, you’d think these people would know as much as I do, if not more, about the simple mechanics of a car, such as its model year, drive train, and oh yes, brand name.
            So anyways, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go hop in my Mustang and take it to the dealer. It just turned into a front wheel drive Hyundai, and I think I should probably get that looked at.

Till next time,

Mood: Borderline retarded
Beer: Dos Equis Amber
Shower: Washing away the pain
Eerily identical

                                                                 Tech inspecting the tire


  1. I HATE dealing with idiots like that. I have to deal with that at the college a lot of the time and seems like I have to deal with idiots in one form or another on the road or in the stores.

  2. Its a worldwide problem that can make you angry aswell.

  3. They avoid the problem in Europe by having all the retards on welfare. You just don't have to have as much daily interaction with weapons-grade stupidity as you do in the US.