Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Highway to Hell

It's been said that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. While I won't disagree, I just want to express my appreciation for the fact that the very same subterranean motorway is also lined with an endless supply of bars and liquor stores, especially in my neighborhood. The Wicker Park area is sort of like the appendix of Chicago, in that nobody really has much idea of what it does, although it does like to sound more important than it actually is. But, here at least, somewhere between hipster heaven and Little Puerto Rico, there is no shortage of watering holes, and for that I am eternally thankful. Nor am I left wanting for taco shacks (although the Puerto Ricans seem to have confused the structural logistics of the taco with that of the wonton).

My beer of choice is Two-Hearted Ale. My author of choice is Terry Pratchett. My landlord breathes through his mouth. My neighbors all own pit bulls that I pray will eat eachother. And, this weekend I interrupted a man and his son tandem pissing in my parking spot beside the building. But, at least it's cheap. What better surroundings could a virile young writer hope for? I write, I do construction work to pay the bills, and I pretend to be an attentive graduate student. My girlfriend keeps me sane.

But, enough about me. Welcome to our blog. As the name banner of this blog so vaguely implies, sometimes it's necessary to drown your sorrows in a hot shower, and pretty damn nice to sip a cold one while you're doing it. If you've never tried it, I highly suggest making your way to the nearest liquor store (unless it's Manny's, on Division, the cheap bastard), buying a six-pack, and throwing that water-conserving shower head out the nearest window. Sip a brewski and wash the stank away. Some days, it really helps to take the edge off, while others, it may actually take you off the edge. Case in point: this week, Bryan and I got a nice little cock-punch from the universe, which came in the form of a letter from the editor at a major publisher, who had previously offered to buy our collaborative novel a few months back. Apparently, the book world is currently stiffer than the men of the porn industry, and our little baby was tossed back to the lake, like the nine-eyed Chernobyl herring that she is.

Nonetheless, we rally onward. This blog is the rambling outlet for we two writers, who have repeatedly been let down by an industry suffering from literectile dysfunction, and the various reasons we have masochistically decided to stay the course. Because, really, what other option is there? Give up...watch American Idol...write screenplays? Not a chance in Hell.



  1. Brilliant. I've only just started following your, blog, and I have concluded that IT IS EPIC!
    I'm only 15 but love creative writing, and also would love to get published. I met a big-ish author a month back, called Susan Price. Apparently the reason why publishers nowadays have sticks up their asses is coz they're all broke. They published a load of sh!t when they had the money. Then BAM the recession hits, and they're screwed six ways to sunday. And it hits prospective authors more than the oublishers themselves. You know what they say: Life's a b!tch.
    Pardon the crap I've spewed onto ur blog.....

  2. I'm starting at the beginning, mainly because I like to see how a blog evolves, but also because I like to be one of the few who actually comment on your earlier posts.

    That way, you can see that I'm a true fan (just ignore the time stamp... pretend I'm commenting from the future).

  3. i can confirm that, she is from the future.